Peoples' Republic of Moonbattia is comprised of the liberal-leaning states, both East and West coast, joined together with a strip along the Canadian border so that the predominantly blue states of the Midwest can be included. Total gun control, free health care, confiscatory taxes. The whole liberal wet dream. Capital? San Francisco, Chicago and New York will have to fight that out.
Aztlan comprises an area of the Southwest that Hispanics can call home. If they like, they can join their fortune to that of Mexico.
United States of Wingnuttia: filled with conservative, white working class people, with a strong religious foundation. These are the people that Barack Obama characterized as bitter, clinging to guns and religion. No gun control for law-abiding sane citizens, up to and including automatic weapons. Moral perversion frowned upon. No welfare of any kind.
African America: African-Americans deserve a place of their own, so they can actually have a chance to run a country of their own and not have white people to blame for their failures. Capital: New Orleans, renamed Chocolate City by the first President of African America, Ray Nagin.
Once the borders for Nu-America are drawn, each citizen of the former United States of Amerikkka will be given one year to choose his new country and arrange to emigrate. You'll notice I've drawn Nu America so that everyone gets some coastline.
The fact that people are even contemplating such things as secession tells how fundamentally deep the political divisions have become in America. The savage arguments that take place in blogs and internet forums only exacerbate the problem, I think; not that I would advocate censorship because of it, however.
Update: Instalanche! Thank you, Glenn Reynolds!
Hey, most of Hurricane Alley falls within the borders of African America. Wait'll Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton hear about this.
ReplyDeleteWell, they get Walt Disney world and the best beaches, so they shouldn't complain. They get Cajun food, too. I reserved a good bit of the BBQ belt for Wingnuttia, though.
ReplyDeleteThere is absolutely, positively, NO WAY IN HELL that Idaho, Montana and Wyoming would align themselves with anything on either coast.
ReplyDeleteSee, for instance, the Free States movement.
Now, parts of Colorado (the Denver/Boulder corridor, pretty much exclusively) might join in, as might Santa Fe, NM but the rest of those states would probably join the free states.
Where did Michigan go? Did we fall into the Great Lakes in a purplelish spasm of red/blue confoundity?
ReplyDeleteor was it just with our economy sucking the most, having tons of leftist goofs while also producing the evil automobile nobody wanted us and we're the separate nation of Michiganistan?
Texas as a part of *anything* not the US. You jest. They might just be independent Texas, but they sure as hell wouldn't be a 'part' of anything else.
ReplyDeleteActually, various American States have been talking about secession since even before the Constitution was ratified. New England did it decades before the South. So I don't think this kind of talk is at all new or even particularly alarming.
ReplyDelete"Capital" is the word you want for the city that is the seat of government. "Capitol" is a building.
ReplyDeletePat said...
ReplyDelete"Capital" is the word you want for the city that is the seat of government. "Capitol" is a building.
Damn. I had it right the first time, then changed it to the wrong spelling. It's fixed again now. Thanks!
Well, New England also considered seceeding before the Civil War, but they didn't. However, the South threatened too, and they did it.
ReplyDeleteLesson: Listen to the South when it threatens secession because it's serious. The rest of the nation, particularly New England isn't so they can be safely ignored. :)
As Punditarian noted, seccessionism is not a new notion with regions of the US. New England has been especially susceptible to it - right from almost the start of the republic. It flared up around 1804-05, again during the war of 1812, and you can easily find current rumblings.
ReplyDeleteFrederick Jackson Turner, in The American Frontier In American History noted several instances of it around various regions, IIRC. Just one example was a section of the Midwest that was so heavily populated by German immigrants that there were supposedly strong movements to secede and join Germany.
I seem to recall some deep resentment among western states about federal control of HUGE portions of land and, therefore, secessionist sentiments.
You need to take the south half of Florida away from AfricanAmerica and make it a free state called Retireopia. Orlando would be an open city so everyone could enjoy Disney.
ReplyDelete