Now More Moist!
I knew something was wrong when I didn't see the traditional top crust piece, the one that falls off the cake slice like a bad toupée from a bald man's head. The new, improved cake doesn't slice as easily as the old one, and sticks to the aluminum pan now, resulting in the slices being torn apart as you remove them.
Bastards. Didn't the New Coke debacle teach you retards not to screw with successful, traditional products? Do you think that pound cakes are no different than laundry detergent, to be monkeyed with whenever a new corporate monkey climbs the pole to show his ass?
sic transit gloria mundi.