A MAN almost died when he stopped for a roadside toilet break and was bitten by a deadly snake - on the end of his manhood.
The poisonous brown snake darted between his legs and dived at his penis as he crouched on the roadside near Cairns, Australia, before fleeing.
h/t Hot Air.
Which brings to mind the old Lone Ranger snakebite joke:
The Lone Ranger, camping in the wilderness with Tonto, was bitten on the penis by a rattlesnake when he squattted near a tree to take a crap.
"Tonto, quickly, ride into town and ask for help," said the Lone Ranger, writhing in agony.
Tonto rode into town and ran into the doctor's office. "Doctor, the Lone Ranger has been bitten by rattlesnake, him need help!"
The doctor said, "I can't leave right now, Tonto. Go back to the Lone Ranger and suck the poison out of the wound, then slap tobacco juice on it. He should be ok in a couple of days."
Tonto rode back to camp, thinking hard all the while about where the rattlesnake had bitten the Lone Ranger.
"Tonto, what did the doctor say?" asked the Lone Ranger.
Tonto replied, "Doctor say you gonna die, Kemo Sabe."
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