Roberta had an accident with a toaster.
Having dealt with toasters for years, it seemed to me that what is lacking is a set of simple rules for dealing with toasters, such as USMC Col. Jeff Cooper formulated for gun handling.
So I came up with:
1. A toaster is always ready to malfunction.
2. Never leave a toaster unattended.
3. Never place anything in a toaster that you aren't willing to see destroyed.
4. Keep your finger out of the toaster until the bread is finished toasting.
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