I'd Wrap Them Up In Celophant

It's the only way to keep the little chirrens safe, you know.

This passage made me LOL:

Researchers found that conkers have been banned from nearly one sixth of playgrounds for fear that they could cause injury or trigger a nut allergy, even though they are not nuts.

update: Not to be outdone by the UK, the state of New York thinks Freeze Tag is dangerous.

h/t Jammie Wearing Fool.