A drunken dumbass (redundancy alert) who was urinating off a bridge over the Minnesota River fell into the river while trying to amuse a friend by...wait for it...pretending to fall into the river.
Being drunk, he didn't die, and he didn't manage to kill anyone else in the process, so the story ends humorously instead of tragically.
His last words before the splash were probably Hey, watch this!
Dumbass.
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