The Rise of Snob Bowling

And you, with your own ball, shoes and beer belly: you aren't the type we're looking for.

Bowlmor is owned by Strike Holdings, and at its downtown headquarters, Thomas Shannon, the chief executive, spoke about the old bowling, and the new bowling that might save New York. “It used to be that if you wanted to go bowling, you had to suffer some form of deprivation,” he said. “Bad food — you know, the hot dog on a roller. Stale tap beer. No service.”

Bowlmor and the upscale alleys typically shun leagues. They don’t want guys who show up with bowling outfits and excessive stomachs and their own equipment and want to pay $1.95 a game.

“They want the cheapest, most miserable experience,” Mr. Shannon said. “I would describe it as a Stalinist experience.”

At Bowlmor, games are generally $11 to $13.

Mr. Shannon showed plans for the forthcoming Times Square alley. Adorning the entrance will be Bowlmor Bob, a giant bowler in a red dinner jacket. The front desk will have a concierge. When you get bowling shoes, you can have your street shoes shined for another few dollars.

(I just mentioned this article to my sister, and she said, "Do they have valets to shine your balls?")

*snort*