CALL THE SWAT TEAM! (A New Meme)

I'm starting a new meme. It's called CALL THE SWAT TEAM! To play, take note of a minor crime you find in the news, one in which violence would not normally be the police response. Summarize the crime, then end with CALL THE SWAT TEAM! in capital letters. Extra exclamation points/1's ok, even encouraged. OK, got the rules down? Let's get started:

In New London, Connecticut, they've had to shut down a new, 11-million-dollar fountain because people have been urinating and defecating in it.

CALL THE SWAT TEAM!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!11111