When Military Officers Go Insane...

...occasionally it goes undetected. Not so in the case of UK Army Major General James Cowan, who feels that sandwiches are a threat to good order and discipline:

Sandwiches have been banned from an officers’ base after a commander noticed many were eating them with their hands as he insisted “a gentleman or a lady uses a knife and fork.”

Major General James Cowan issued the note after he noticed officers were eating with their hands and failing to stand when commanders entered the room.

His three-page letter criticised standards at Bulford Camp in Wiltshire where he said he had seen a many “frankly barbaric” techniques and habits displayed by soldiers and officers.

The note, addressed to ‘Chaps’, said: “Quite a few officers in the divisional mess seem to be under the impression that they can eat their food with their hands. The practice of serving rolls and sandwiches must stop,” the Sun reported.

The letter penned by Maj Gen Cowan, who is in charge of 20,000 soldiers and 2,500 officers in 3 UK Division, most based at Bulford, also criticised poor grammar and writing, advising against the "wanton use of capitals, abbreviations and acronyms" because they can leave the reader exhausted.

Frankly I'm not convinced this isn't satire, and wasn't posted by the Telegraph by mistake. It reads just like a Monty Python sketch:

Listen Up, Chaps: There's been too much eating of sandwiches! Stop that, it's silly! And the wanton use of of capitals, abbreviations and acronyms must stop! It's silly!