Chris Muir's Day By Day



Thursday, May 29, 2008

Australian Snake Bites Man's Penis

A MAN almost died when he stopped for a roadside toilet break and was bitten by a deadly snake - on the end of his manhood.

The poisonous brown snake darted between his legs and dived at his penis as he crouched on the roadside near Cairns, Australia, before fleeing.


h/t Hot Air.

Which brings to mind the old Lone Ranger snakebite joke:

The Lone Ranger, camping in the wilderness with Tonto, was bitten on the penis by a rattlesnake when he squattted near a tree to take a crap.
"Tonto, quickly, ride into town and ask for help," said the Lone Ranger, writhing in agony.
Tonto rode into town and ran into the doctor's office. "Doctor, the Lone Ranger has been bitten by rattlesnake, him need help!"
The doctor said, "I can't leave right now, Tonto. Go back to the Lone Ranger and suck the poison out of the wound, then slap tobacco juice on it. He should be ok in a couple of days."
Tonto rode back to camp, thinking hard all the while about where the rattlesnake had bitten the Lone Ranger.
"Tonto, what did the doctor say?" asked the Lone Ranger.
Tonto replied, "Doctor say you gonna die, Kemo Sabe."

What Would Ernest King Think?

This headline jumped out at me when I visited the Navy Times website this morning:

Analysis: Why no one believes the Navy.

What in Heaven is going on with the Navy? It sounds as if an old-fashioned ass-kicking CNO like Ernest J. King needs to be in charge, the Navy appears to be run by a bunch of yes-men and ass-kissers.

"Why no one believes the Navy." Sheesh.

Life In St. Anthony's Monastery

In the desert where Christian monasticism began.

It's a lifestyle I've always been interested in; hermit more than monk, though.

Gurkha Attacked By His Wife...With His Own Kukri?

A Gurkha serving at Sandhurst is fighting for his life after his throat was slit by his wife at the military academy.

Detectives are looking at whether the soldier's own Kukri blade - a traditional Gurkha weapon - was used in the attack.

The 40-year-old was last night described as being in a serious but stable condition, while his 42-year-old wife was detained under the Mental Health Act.


What's a Kukri, you might ask? This:

Tana?

A "lost city" has been unearthed in Egypt's Sinai Peninsula.

An' it has a Well of Souls, an' snakes, an' mummies n' stuff...

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Aussie Soldiers: We're Not REMF's.

If you don't know what a REMF is, Google it.

Anyway, the Aussies want everyone to know that they aren't REMF's, and that they'd like an opportunity to prove it in battle in Iraq.

Good on yer, Diggers.

Goya Drawing Rediscovered

Three drawings by Francisco de Goya have been found after disappearing 130 years ago.

Here's one of them, "The Constable Lampinos stitched inside a dead horse."



Doesn't look happy, does he? Looks as if it might have been done in bull's blood, Goya did that occasionally.

Shipwreck Blog: Cast Away In The Bristol Channel

A yahoo goes to sea hung over and without proper survival equipment, but still manages to survive after his boat sinks.

Insect Repellant Breakthroughs

Computers are making it easier to identify and develop more effective insect repellants than DEET (n,n-diethyl-m-toluamide), which was developed over 50 years ago and is the active ingredient in most repellants.

While testing, one of these new compounds was effective for 73 days, as opposed to 17.3 days for DEET.

Everyone Is An Expert, And They All Have Opinions.

A discussion of US Military bullets.



The blog subject line is a quote from the story. It is, you might notice, a variation on the old standard Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink line that you hear in the military a lot.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Al Fin: Seasteading on Pykrete, and Other Novel Uses

Al Fin: Seasteading on Pykrete, and Other Novel Uses

Ever heard of Pykrete before? It's old technology that is getting a new look. Basically, it's a mix of wood fibre and ice. Limited use with global warming, though, isn't it? Read the info at the link to find out why it's possibly not.

Memorial Day



I'll be back tomorrow.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

NY Times: Who's Responsible For All This Iraq Success?

We'll get to the bottom of it, and heads will roll!

They figure it isn't the Brits. Further than that they aren't prepared to go.

Hunting For WWII KIA's

We always try to bring our boys home.

Tomb Of Cleopatra Found?

Maybe.

As noted in the story, if the discovery is genuine, it would be the greatest archaeological find in Egypt since Tut.

No one has ever found Alexander's tomb, either. That would be a huge event. Genghis Khan, likewise.

Titanic Discovery Was Part Of Classified Navy Project.

Dr. Robert Ballard, who discovered the wreck of the Titanic back in the 1980's, tells that his discovery was a cover by the US Navy for Ballard's real mission: discovering the wreckages and fates of two US Navy submarines, Thresher and Scorpion.

Wow. That happened during the years I was in the Navy myself. I worked as a Cryptologic Technician, and anything having to do with the US Navy's submarine programs was the most hush-hush of all the classified programs. Even at Cinclantfleet HQ where I worked, only a few of the techs where I worked were cleared to look at certain aspects of the submarine programs.

Danica's Unhappy...

...and someone is liable to get bitch-slapped over it.

Busting A Stereotype

Camping while black, an idea whose time has come?

Saturday, May 24, 2008

The Lethal Pine Tree

A 150-year-old pine tree in West Cross, UK, is in danger of being felled because of needles like syringes.

I kid you not.

Geez, what if these people came in contact with Spanish Dagger?

Nanny state stupidity at its worst.

When A Warship Retires

Decommissioning the USS Kitty Hawk: an outline.

I note that a group here in NC wants to turn the ship into a museum.

Hillary and the "A" Word Gaffe

You'll recall I mentioned this scenario back on the 8th.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Och! Scalpel Slipped, Laddie!

A Scottish man suffered such a botched vasectomy that he later had to be gelded.

Dinna fash ye'self, Jimmy...

Iraq: Trading Gunbelts For Toolbelts

After discussions with Shi'ite Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani, Iraq Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki announced a new focus on reconstruction in the war-torn country.

No-brainer for NY Times editor Bill Keller, right? Either ignore the story outright, or bury it in a single column on page A-57.

Arrival

I was in the Cub Scouts one year, and never had an official Cub Scouts pocket knife; now, through the magic of eBay and $15 dollars, I finally have one:


Mine! All Mine!

Chairman of Joint Chiefs Ok With Repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell

Story.

Admiral Mullen also had words for retired officers who criticize policies they supported as active duty officers.

Admiral Mullen sounds like a typical no-shit flag officer.

Hi Mom!

The Telectroscope will allow you to "see" across the Atlantic Ocean from devices positioned on the Tower Bridge in London and the Brooklyn Bridge in New York.

It'll be like football players when the camera is focused on them: they'll wave and say HI MOM!


Hey, look, they're waving!

Bollywood Star Boffs Oz SAS?

Tania Zaetta goes overboard entertaining Australian SAS troops in Afghanistan?

The last line of the story possibly gives it away:

"She has been in the industry long enough to know what she can and can't do and what she can get away with."

Nudge Nudge Wink Wink...Say No More!


Good on yer!

Now How About Pirates Vs. Ninjas?

In Shark vs. Crocodile, croc won.

And strangely, in contrast to normal croc behavior (seize land animal and drag it underwater), the croc seized the shark and dragged it ashore. Primitive intelligence at work?

It's not really a fair fight, though, since there is a huge size disparity between the croc and the shark.


Crikey!

Jupiter Has Acne

In addition to the Great Red Zit that has been visible for centuries, Jupiter has two smaller zits that have formed within the last two years.


Zits.

"Indiana Jones" Gives A Distorted View Of Communism...

...and to prove it we'll not permit it to be shown in Russia!

Irony of the day.

1001 Books To Read Before I Die?

Story.

Hell, I couldn't even finish reading the list itself.

update: Ok, went back and read the list. I've read 49 books on the list, most of them 19th-century stuff.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Polish Your Cane...

...because it's Preston Brooks Day.

(otherwise known as Bash A Liberal Senator Day.)

Volcano Blog: Semeru, Java

Semeru is an active volcano in a sparsely-populated area.

US Draft Dodger To Be Deported From Canada

Story.

Come home and take your medicine, you little baby.

Muslim Accused of Stealing Submarine Parts

The actual headline used by UPI is Man Accused of Stealing Submarine Parts.

The guy appears to be a Muslim convert, and the story makes it appear as if he was just stealing metal for scrap. Who knows?

Eaglet To Be Checked For Disease

The baby bald eagle I blogged about here is going to be checked for avian pox.

Apparently there's a growth on its beak.

Pres. Bush To Tour Ft. Bragg

While at Ft. Bragg, President Bush will tour the barracks that were in the news last month for their unsanitary condition.

US Naval Academy: War Promotes Serious Attitude

The US Navy is trying to make sure that its plebes (first-year students) understand the seriousness of being in the Navy while a war is on, even to the point of planting dummy IED's in roads where the plebes will be training.

I heartily approve. The service academies should always be a separate world from a civilian university: tougher, more focused, more oriented towards an adult outlook.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Buy A Car, Get A Gun Free

A Missouri car dealer is offering free gas or a free gun along with a car purchase. Most purchasers are taking the guns.

I would, too. Gas is temporary, a gun is a solid, permanent object with inherent value.

Knife Control Silliness In UK

Having failed to control gun crime in UK, the same bunch of idiots now wants to try to control "knife crime."

And when you fail to do that, what will the next target be? Canes, perhaps? What if people start carrying socks with rocks in them?

Here's a novel idea: how about building more jails and locking up people who commit crimes with guns, knives, clubs, etc?

Bogof In A Grocery Store: What Is It?

It's a UK term meaning Buy One, Get One Free.

Guess I'll put this in the learn something new every day category.

Gordon Brown: Decrepit Battleship?

UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown is lampooned in the Daily Telegraph with a naval metaphor:

The great battleship wallows helplessly in heavy seas. It has lost power, its steering gear is shot to pieces and there is even something wrong with its huge guns, which can no longer be trained on the enemy but fire occasional defiant salvoes into empty space.
Only its thick iron plating has saved this mighty ship from going to the bottom, but one feels it is only a matter of time and it could be sunk as early as tomorrow morning.

This is the melancholy spectacle presented by Gordon Brown at Prime Minister's questions. No longer does he steam majestically at 30 knots, the terror of all smaller craft.

Instead he is reduced to the miserable expedient of laying down smoke in a vain attempt to hide his position.


*laughs heartily*

Soldier's Wife Offers Bikini Calendar

Alessandra Bosco, a US Army soldier's wife living in Germany, is doing her part for the war effort:



Her website can be found here.

Rabbit Ear Crunchy?

Spanish chefs are feuding:

Santamaria, who describes himself as a "craftsman chef," specializes in heartier fare than the creations of Nueva Cocina.

The menu of Can Fabes features dishes such as suckling pig served with lobster and lamb with figs, compared to El Bulli offerings like "Rabbit Ear Crunchy" and "Hare juice with apple jelly-cru with black currant marinated gorgonzola shell."


I'm conservative, so I'd probably go with the pig and figs. Rabbit Ear Crunchy sounds like something that would be pre-packaged by a snack company and sold on grocery shelves next to the pork rinds.

Downside To Non-Crop Biofuel Plant Species

They tend to be invasive species.

They certainly have a point. I wouldn't want to start planting kudzu, for example, without a lot of thought about the potential for the stuff ruining other people's properties.

All Thumbs



Drudge has an eye for a trend in news photos, doesn't he?

Ace Waxes Profound

Ace, talking about name-calling from both the Left and Right:

This whole name-calling thing is so counterproductive for Democrats. Every time they lose they denigrate those who didn't vote for them as racist, stupid, and all the rest of it. Republicans name-call, too, of course -- we're not fond of the latte-chuggin' tree-huggin' electric-car-pluggin' Jesus-muggin' speech-code-thuggin' effete perverted condescending Eastern liberal establishment faux intellectual Pansy Class -- but Republicans don't need their votes (and never could get them anyway). But Democrats do need rural voters, and could get them, and once in a while do (or at least enough of them to win elections).

Read the rest of it, as Instapundit is wont to say.

Shipwreck Blog: USS Monitor

An article about the status of the wreck of the Civil War ironclad USS Monitor, which sank in a storm off Cape Hatteras.

The site is now a national sanctuary, and the wreck protected by force of law. Article summarizes the status of the wreck and factors contributing to its deterioration as the years go by.

Put That Mummy In A Burqa!

Its nakedness offends me (inflames my perverted lust).

Mummies at a museum are being covered up after visitors complained about them being displayed 'naked'.
One exhibit, the mummified remains of Asru, a chantress at the Temple of Amun in Karnak, has been seen unwrapped for 120 years.

But now, along with the partially-wrapped male mummy of Khary and a child mummy, it is being covered after calls for more respect and dignity to be shown to the ancient remains at Manchester Museum.


*shakes head sadly*

Shipwreck Blog: Spanish Galleon, Chile


Santiago (Chile), May 20 : A private archaeological excavation firm has discovered the remains of a 238-year-old shipwrecked Spanish galleon on the coast near the Chilean town of Curepto, located in Chile's Region VII.


A private archaeological excavation firm has discovered the remains of a 238-year-old shipwrecked Spanish galleon on the coast near the Chilean town of Curepto, located in Chile's Region VII.

According to a report in The Santiago Times, the Spanish galleon, named "Our Lady of the Good Council and San Leopoldo" was discovered by Oriflama S.A, a private archaeological excavation firm.

Most archaeologists expected to find the remains of the ship deep on the ocean floor.

But fragments of the 41-meter x 11-meter ship were discovered embedded in the sand under fairly shallow waters near where the Huenchullami River flows into the ocean.

The once ornate vessel, built by the French in the mid 1700s and, loaded with 56 canons, was used by their military until the ship fell into Spanish hands. The Spaniards then revamped the ship into a merchant vessel and set it sailing to "New Spain."

The ship was carrying precious glassware from the Spanish royal family to be sold to Peru's Spanish royalty. The glassware, along with garments decorated with gold, gold money, fancy furniture and over 50 canons, today have an estimated value of 30 million US dollars.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Shipwreck Blog: Channel Islands, 1592

UK teams will be salvaging items from a 1592 shipwreck near the island of Alderney in the English Channel.

It has taken over 400 years but soon the Tower of London is going to get some of its guns back. On May 25, archaeologists will begin work on the recovery of cannon from a sunken Elizabethan ship that went down off the coast of Alderney in the Channel Islands in 1592.

Oxford, UK (PRWEB) May 20, 2008 -- Great guns on Alderney! It has taken over 400 years but soon the Tower of London is going to get some of its guns back. On May 25, archaeologists will begin work on the recovery of cannon from a sunken Elizabethan ship that went down off the coast of Alderney in the Channel Islands in 1592. The Duke of York is behind the work that aims to conserve, replicate and test-fire the weapons found on this important wreck.

Excavation director Mensun Bound of St Peter's College, Oxford, says, "We are not just bringing up cannon, but also muskets, grenades, swords, rapiers, body armour and helmets. This was a ship that was supplying an English army fighting in France to prevent a second Armada-style invasion by Spain."

Visit Walt Disney World Free!

Via the magic of Google Earth.

Imagine: no crowds, no waiting in lines, no heat exhaustion or sore legs. Only thing that gets tired is your mouse (heh) finger.

The Island Of Gigantic, Flesh-Eating Mice

Gough Island, in the South Atlantic Ocean.

A British owned island in the South Atlantic has been overrun by hundreds of thousands of monster mice which have evolved into carnivores.
The mice of Gough Island have grown to two or even three times the size of an ordinary house mouse.

They have developed from eating insects and seeds and are now devouring young birds, including albatross chicks, in huge numbers.

Birds on the island had been used to having no predators and are unable to fend off the mice which attack in groups at night.


Sounds like a natural for a low-budget horror movie.

update: Welcome, Ace of Spades HQ morons!

Firearm Ammunition: Low Supply, High Demand

Thus, high prices for the shooting sports worldwide.

Not all of the demand is coming from the wars, the developing industrial interests in China and India are having an effect, too.

Walruses, A Primer

Fine NY Times article.

Pirate trivia: Walrus was the name of Flint's ship in Treasure Island.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Woot!

Income tax refunds from the IRS and state of NC arrived just now. Still have the tax rebate check to look forward to.

Shipwreck Blog: Santa Margarita, Florida Keys

Divers from Blue Water Adventures have found a strange artifact while on a hunt for the wreck of the Spanish galleon Nuestra SeƱora de Santa Margarita:



It's theorized to be a combination toothpick and earwax scoop, worn around the neck. You can see that there are marine accretions that have yet to be cleaned off.

Hell. Maybe it's a marrow spoon. People were fond of eating marrow bones back then.

UK Purple Heart? Good Idea.

The UK government is trying to repair the relations between the public and the military, with ideas such as a bank holiday, more visible wearing of uniforms in public, cadets in colleges and other schools, and institution of a US-style "Purple Heart" medal for wounded UK warriors.

In April, it was revealed that Mr Brown wants to create a British Purple Heart - the medal awarded to American troops injured in battle

He was said to have been impressed at the way the US celebrated its Armed Forces through homecoming parades, appearances at major sporting events, and regular mainstream television coverage.

He now wants officials to look at the possibility of instituting a medal for combat casualties, although any decision would be a matter for the Chiefs of Staff.


UK has always had more of an antagonistic/hostile relationship with its military than the US has. This is a good start, in my opinion.

Obama: Leave My Wife Alone!

The Obamessiah is angry that the Tennessee GOP is running attack ads featuring Michelle Obama.

Welcome to the big leagues. Get used to it. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Etc.

If you don't want her made part of the presidential race, don't put her out there in the public making speeches.

Rare Beetle Seen In UK

CAMBRIDGE, England, May 19 (UPI) -- A British naturalist recently spotted a crucifix ground beetle, an insect so rare the last known sighting was 10 years ago.

Stuart Warrnington said he was "surprised and delighted" to see the beetle during a regular survey of Wicken Fen, a nature reserve in Cambridgeshire owned by the Natural Trust, The Daily Telegraph reported. The beetle had not been recorded there since 1951.


Here's a photo of one:



Is it a sign that the (Oba)Messiah has come?

Close Call

A US Marine has a close call when a Taliban bullet impacts just inches from his head. Fine series of photographs at the UK Daily Mail.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Weinstein To Produce Coelho's The Alchemist

CANNES, France (Reuters) - The Weinstein Company will produce Brazilian writer Paulo Coelho's "The Alchemist" in a big-budget adaptation directed by Hollywood star Laurence Fishburne, Harvey Weinstein announced in Cannes on Sunday.

He said the movie would cost "60 million dollars-plus" to make and would start shooting in late spring or early summer.

He said that "The Alchemist", first published 20 years ago, combined elements that should make it appeal to a broad audience -- spirituality, a journey, youth, love and action.

Coelho's novel, which has sold an estimated 30 million copies worldwide, tells the story of Santiago, an Andalusian shepherd boy who travels to Africa in search of his dream and meets the alchemist along the way.

Fishburne, who in a video message said he felt like "the luckiest man on the planet", will play the alchemist as well as direct and help develop the script.

Weinstein said he had read earlier screenplays based on the novel over the years, and "hated every one of them".

There was no news on the rest of the cast, although Weinstein indicated he wanted to give a part to Spanish star Penelope Cruz, who has been in Cannes starring in Woody Allen's popular "Vicky Cristina Barcelona".

The producer believed the project could act as "a bridge to the Middle East", and said he was determined the film would be true to the original story.


I hate it already. This book doesn't need a huge budget to be successful, and it doesn't need Laurence Fishburne to play the Magic Negro in it. And Penelope Cruz? "A bridge to the Middle East?"

Oh, it's doomed.

Doughnuts In The Green Zone

Creating a successful business in Baghdad.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Google Earth Image Of The Day

USS Alabama, BB-60, a South Dakota-class WWII battlship permanently moored in Mobile, Alabama.

I first visited her around 1970, when my paternal grandmother died and we journeyed from Florida to Mississippi to bury her. I was about 9 years old at the time and we stopped at the Alamaba on the trip back. I was smitten with love for this ship; guns everywhere, hiding places galore, something fascinating to see around every corner. Also moored behind the Alabama was a WWII submarine, USS Drum, but I really had no time for her; too small, cramped. My love was given to the big battleship.

I knew before I left her that I wanted nothing more than to be in the US Navy.

Can A Dead Brand Live Again?

Good NY Times story.

I want Old Spice Fresh Lime aftershave back, myself.

First They Came For The Fat People...

...and I was at the top of the list.

LONDON, May 17 (UPI) -- Some British experts say fat people are contributing to global warming more than those who are thin because they require more food and fuel.

London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine scientists said the transportation and food costs of obese people are contributing to increasing energy prices and food defects.


Wish my tax rebate check would show up, so I can buy a rifle and more ammunition, I guess I'll need it when the Fat Nazis arrive to take me away.

Honey? There's Sheep In The Garage!

North Dakota is suffering from a lack of shepherds, so the new generation is being asked to step up to the plate, even to the point of giving the damned things away.

Children everywhere love prizes and fuzzy animals, right? The North Dakota shepherding industry is counting on it.

In an unusual move meant to encourage youthful interest in a career field that could perhaps use a little of-the-moment excitement, a state group will be awarding sheep to select teens and ’tweens. They hope to encourage a new generation of shepherds.

Shepherding, always popular among storybook characters and as a religious metaphor, has taken a beating in reality. Nationally, tens of thousands of sheep ranches have disappeared in recent decades. And in mostly rural North Dakota, there are just 840 operations now, a drop of about 1,000 sites tending to lambs, ewes and rams since the late 1980s. Livestock specialists say that fewer people seem to have the patience or expertise to handle flocks, and that there are concerns about the ease of marketing and slaughter.

As the remaining shepherds grow older, industry officials are hoping to entice replacements from elementary and high schools with a “starter flock” program. It will give 10 ewes to children who write winning essays about their interest in the field, who are North Dakota residents from the ages of 10 to 18, and who agree to pay back a part of the profits from their lamb or wool sales to help sustain the initiative. (Rams will be provided for breeding at no charge. Ewes are worth about $150 each.)

Goin' Fishin'

Be back later.

Florida Sheriff's Deputy Bitten By Alligator

He'll be the butt of jokes for the next week, bet on it:

Hey, Croc Hunter, way to go!

Crikey! What a little nippah!

I'll just step off camera so I can scream me lungs out...


And so on.

"Rainbow Iceberg."

Story.

Looks more like the world's largest piece of Agate, but that wouldn't be floating in the ocean, obviously.

NY Times Columnist To Obama: Ignore Appalachia

Story.

A realist, obviously. It's not as if Obama is going to take to moonshining and making meth.

Keeping A Straight Face

Sometimes it's simply impossible, and usually the provocation is related to bodily functions or sexual disfunctions.


Uncontrollable Mirth


"Martin-Jenkins's Radio 4 colleague Charlotte Green will also be sympathetic to his plight.

She described herself as being "ambushed by the giggles" while playing a scratchy recording of a woman singing Au Clair de la Lune made in 1860 earlier this year.

She was also unable to keep a straight face in 1997 after reading out the name of a Papua New Guinea politician called Jack Tuat - where the "u" is pronounced as a "w".
"

Jack Tuat. Don't even tell me that any of YOU could say that out loud and keep a straight face.

Ted Kennedy Rushed To Hospital

Story.

The man's politics are contrary to mine, and my personal opinion is that he got away with negligent homicide. That said, I hope he has a speedy recovery...so he can retire from the US Senate.

Enough on that subject.

Music Arrival

Harkin Says McCain "too military."

Washington, D.C. — Republican presidential candidate John McCain's family background as the son and grandson of admirals has given him a worldview shaped by the military, "and he has a hard time thinking beyond that," Sen. Tom Harkin, D-Ia., said Friday.

"I think he's trapped in that," Harkin said in a conference call with Iowa reporters. "Everything is looked at from his life experiences, from always having been in the military, and I think that can be pretty dangerous."
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Harkin said that "it's one thing to have been drafted and served, but another thing when you come from generations of military people and that's just how you're steeped, how you've learned, how you've grown up."

"But now McCain is running for a higher office. He's running for commander in chief, and our Constitution says that should be a civilian," Harkin said. "And in some ways, I think it would be nice if that commander in chief had some military background, but I don't know if they need a whole lot."


Umm. Excuse me, Senator Retard? McCain isn't in the Navy anymore. He is a civilian using the legal or any other definition you want to come up with.

h/t Instapundit.

Feeding Felons On $1.75 A Day

The Alabama system.

On the off-chance that maybe inflation is cutting into the cost of foodstuffs and making it tough on the felons, I'd be willing to see the daily amount raised to $2.00.

Never let it be said I'm lacking compassion.

Exhuming Dead Senators

The Associated Press does just that with the late Senator William Borah of Idaho, who President Bush recently quoted in a speech given in Israel.


Ex-Senator. Pushing Up Daisies. A stiff!

The Gasoline Issue, Summarized.

By President Bush.

Not that it takes rocket science to see the problems. We're prohibited by leftists from utilizing our own untapped oil reserves, they won't let us build new refineries or nuclear power plants.

The Republicans really need to drive this home to the voters in commercials and speeches, but aren't. They need to accuse the Dems of being unpatriotic for allowing lower-income Americans to suffer at the pump to please lobbyists in the environmental movement.

Shipwreck Details: Steamship New York

The Charlotte Observer has a fine article on the gold found in the wreckage of the steamship New York, which was discovered off the coast of Louisiana and recently salvaged.

Article goes into detail about the old US Mint facilities in Charlotte, NC, and Dahlonega, GA, which were authorized by President Andrew Jackson and closed at the beginning of the Civil War. These mints pre-dated the California gold rush, and are generally forgotten these days, along with the Carolinas and Georgia gold rushes that caused them to be opened.

Volcano After-Effects: Ash

The Welsh communities in Argentina are worried about the health and environmental impact of the ash from the Chaiten volcano eruption.

The ash isn't inherently toxic, but can temporarily muck up rivers, streams and other waterways. Long-term it is actually good for the soil, improving it, which is why many people continue to grow crops on the slopes of volcanoes.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Begun, The Beach Wars Are

Myrtle Beach fires the first salvo by scorning Virginia Beach.

Edwards Not Ruling Out Role In Obama Administration.

John Edwards is being coy about joining a Barack Obama administration. Doesn't want to be VP, but doesn't rule out a role.

See my earlier prediction.

VP is only for eight years. Supreme Court justice is for the rest of his life, and the potential for far more mischief.

Enviro-Scientists Discover Nitrogen, Panic

Nitrogen: the new Carbon Dioxide?

Relax. At worst it will form Nitrous Oxide in the atmosphere and we'll all die giggling.

Dutch Cartoonist, Friend of Theo van Gogh, Arrested.

For insulting Islam.

The Dutch authorities have arrested the cartoonist Gregorius Nekschot (a pseudonym. Nekschot means deathblow, litt: “shot in the back of the neck” [An interview with Nekschot here]). The judicial authorities in Amsterdam said yesterday that the cartoonist was arrested as a suspect for the criminal offense of “publishing cartoons which are discriminating for Muslims and people with dark skin.”

The cartoonist was arrested on Tuesday, while the police searched his house for “discriminating evidence.” His computer, backups, usb sticks, mobile phone and a number of drawings were confiscated. Nekschot was released two days later but it is possible that he will be charged following a complaint in 2005 by the Dutch imam Abdul Jabbar van de Ven, an indigenous Dutchman who converted to Islam.

Nekschot, a friend of the late Theo van Gogh, the Dutch film maker who was ritually slaughtered by a Muslim fanatic in 2004, hides his real identity in order to avoid unnecessary risks. Hans Teeuwen, a Dutch stand-up comedian and friend of Nekschot’s, told the Dutch media yesterday that the police had told Nekschot as they released him earlier that day that “he has now lost his anonymity.” Teeuwen said this was “a rather intimidating remark.”


So they want him outed so he can be killed? Nice.

This Brussels Journal link appears to have good information and examples of Nekschot's work (some of it obscene).

Volcano Blog: Peteroa, Chile/Argentina

SANTIAGO.- Officers from the Regional Emergency Office (ONEMI) are planning to install seismometers in the Maule region amid an increase in smoke columns coming from the crater of the Peteroa volcano.

This isn't an eruption notice. Apparently melting of glaciers on Peteroa (global warming?) is causing the underlying fumaroles to smoke more than formerly.

Peteroa is much closer to Chile's capital, Santiago, than Chaiten volcano is, but is still no real danger to Santiago.

A Young Man Of The Old School

Jeffrey Sahli, budding patriot.

I used to do this when I was in Catholic school in the 70's, so I know how he feels. Well done, lad.

h/t Michelle Malkin

Google Earth Image Of The Day

Fortress Monroe in Hampton, VA. A beautiful old masonry fort, still owned by the Army, as far as I know, although it has been targeted for base closing legislation in the past. A lot of history went on there, and a lot of famous people walked and lived there: Edgar Allan Poe, while he was an enlisted soldier; Robert E. Lee, who as an engineer helped survey and build Fort Wool, which is across from Fortress Monroe, on an artificial island next to the entrance of the modern Hampton Tunnel; and Jefferson Davis, who was held captive at Fortress Monroe following the Civil War, and whose lovely meerschaum pipe, carved as an egg grasped in an eagle's claw, is still on exhibit there, or was in 1983 when I last visited.

The fort is fully moated, the moat open to Chesapeake Bay; it is full of jellyfish. The fort has a path all around the top, which also serves as a pet graveyard; lovely views of the area are possible from the path, and lying in the grass atop the casement roofs in the summer is wonderfully pleasant.

There is a "Casemate Museum" that shows much of the history of the area, including the battle between USS Monitor and CSS Virginia, the latter more familiarly known as the Merrimack.

Prediction

If Obama wins the Presidency, the first man he'll name to the Supreme Court in John Edwards.

Edwards is young and liberal, and has the potential to influence the Court for decades. Some have said that Edwards is more likely to get Attorney General, but I'd bet on the Supreme Court, given Edwards' ego.

So let it be recorded.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Barack "Neville" Obama

Obama thinks President Bush is calling him an appeaser.

Neville is possibly better than Hussein, I guess.

President Bush Finally Speaks As Reagan Would

A fine Reuters article on President Bush's trip to the Mideast.

Quotes to take away:

"So as we mark 60 years from Israel's founding, let us try to envision the region 60 years from now," said Bush, whose popularity at home has been hurt by an unpopular war in Iraq.

"Israel will be celebrating its 120th anniversary as one of the world's greatest democracies", he said, and "the Palestinian people will have a homeland, a democratic state that is governed by law, respects human rights and rejects terror".

Bush said that "from Cairo to Riyadh to Baghdad and Beirut, people will live in free and independent societies". Iran and Syria "will be peaceful nations, where today's oppression is a distant memory".

Al Qaeda, Lebanon's Hezbollah movement and the Palestinian Islamist group Hamas "will be defeated, as Muslims across the region recognize the emptiness of the terrorists' vision", Bush predicted.


And this, about the survival of Israel as a nation:

At Masada, a cable car carried Bush up the towering plateau where 960 Jewish men, women and children committed suicide rather than surrender to Roman legions crushing a rebellion in ancient Judea, in an act chronicled by a 1st-century historian.

Bush, on a three-day visit to celebrate Israel's founding, and Olmert viewed ruins including a water collection system that sustained besieged Jewish zealots at the sanctuary.

"At this historic site, Israeli soldiers swear an oath: 'Masada shall never fall again.' Citizens of Israel: Masada shall never fall again, and America will be at your side," Bush later told the Knesset, to a standing ovation.


It's often said that President Bush is a buffoon and incapable of eloquence. Could've fooled me.

Training Afghan Police

A difficult job, given that some of the new policemen are totally illiterate.

The trainer in the story concludes that it will take a generation to get Afghani cops up to speed. That's probably true.

Obama's Problem, Summarized

I recently discovered references to Walter Russell Meade's work on The Smallest Minority blog, and did a little research, coming up with this and this which gave me an introduction to Meade's work. Once I did, Barack Obama's worst problem became evident: Jacksonian Americans won't vote for him. And there's a lot of us out there (I'm a Jacksonian).

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Actor Danny Glover Helping To Create "Arab Video Game."

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates, May 14 (UPI) -- The United Arab Emirates-based Colorblind Entertainment announced Wednesday that U.S. film star Danny Glover is joining its board of directors.

Colorblind said Glover, who co-starred in the "Lethal Weapon" buddy-cop action flicks, will play an integral role in the future development of "Sharq Warriors," a videogame franchise featuring "Sami," the first modern Arab action hero.

Colourblind said Riz Khan, a show host at Al Jazeera English and former journalist with the BBC and CNN, is also working on the project.

"Many existing games feature Western soldiers shooting Arabs, Afghans and other ethnic 'enemies,' as well as bad guys who are consistently of African descent, Latino, Arab or Muslim in general," Khan noted. "We think that only reinforces negative stereotypes. We're introducing different types of heroes and 'Sami' is the first of them but he fights corruption, not people of another race."


Sorry, I don't think Sami of Sharq Warriors is going to be as PC as all that. I'll bet there's going to be some joo-shooting in there somewhere, at least if they expect to sell the thing.

And what sort of role is Glover going to take in this? We all know he's a Castro-fellating leftist tool, is he going to be sucking circumcised jihadi tube steak now, too?

Training Dogs To Track Feces

Stop laughing, it's science!

Gods, I hope tax money isn't going for this...

1939 Wife Evaluation Form

By Dr. George W. Crane, Ph.D., M.D.

At one of the hotels I worked at, we had a security guard that had a form like this. He had it ruled into two column, titled Duties Of A Christian Wife and Responsibilities Of A Christian Husband, and he had checkmarks where he had observed proper marital behavior.

I wonder if he's still married?

Solar Bras?

They look more like bustiers than brassieres.



I guess instead of cup size you'll measure how many kilowatt hours the "bra" puts out.

Read This Without Weeping, If You Can

A pair of Welsh octogenarians, married for over 60 years, were told by bureaucrats that they would have to separate in order to receive nursing home care. They decided to suicide together rather than face that fate.



God DAMN all faceless bureaucrats that tell people such things!

update: welcome, Ace of Spades HQ Morons!

Treasure Blog: Steamship Found Off Louisiana

Carrying rare gold coins from the Charlotte, Dahlonega and New Orleans mint facilities.

The coins are in Uncirculated condition, so could bring up to $100,000 at auction.

Divers In Germany Find Roman Artifacts.

Including a magnificent bust of Julius Caesar:

Robot Conducts Symphony

In Detroit.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Putin's Russian Orthodox Inquisition

MOSCOW — A museum director who helped organize an exhibition of censored Soviet and post-Soviet art in defense of Russian artistic freedom now faces censure himself.

Prosecutors have summoned the director, Yuri V. Samodurov, to a hearing on Tuesday during which he will be charged for his role in organizing “Forbidden Art — 2006,” a March 2007 exhibition at the Andrei Sakharov Museum in Moscow, according to a subpoena delivered to Mr. Samodurov last week. The subpoena was then faxed to The New York Times.

The charges stem from an investigation that began shortly after the exhibition opened into whether Mr. Samodurov had incited religious hatred by displaying pornography-infused artworks, some of which mocked the Russian Orthodox Church.

The Soviet government repressed both the Orthodox Church and nonconformist artists. In recent years, however, the church, which the Kremlin now honors, has often sought to punish what it sees as opponents and critics. The police frequently act at church officials’ behest.

In January 2003, a group of men raided Mr. Samodurov’s museum, defacing many of the 45 works in another exhibition critical of the Orthodox Church called “Caution, Religion!” While charges against most of the men were dropped for a lack of evidence, Mr. Samodurov was convicted of inciting religious hatred.


This is a follow-up to posts here and here.

No More Perukes

UK is getting rid of the old-fashioned powdered wigs on their judges:



Probably a good idea, although traditionalists will complain, and I guess that a wigmaker or two will be unhappy.

Memo To Self

Avoid becoming involved in a traffic accident with a cement truck.

Authorities say two women have died after a cement truck crashed into their car and partially filled it with cement. S.C. Highway Patrol Cpl. Paul Brouthers said that the women were in the front seat of a Honda that abruptly changed lanes in front of the cement truck on Interstate 26 Monday afternoon.

He said the truck couldn't stop and crashed into the Honda, landing on top of the car.Pete Rogers of the Charleston Volunteer Fire and Rescue Squad says cement started to fill the car and it took 20 rescuers to dig out the women, who then had to be cut from the car.

Work Computer Hijinks

The courtesy computer at work has been reconfigured with some program called "site kiosk" that severely limits access to computer functions. I've been using Mozilla Firefox in the past to work there, now I'm forced onto a custom version of Internet Explorer that doesn't even feature tabbed browsing or the ability to open a new window. I may have to bring a Puppy Linux CD-Rom and a USB key so that I don't have to put up with this silliness.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Universal Re-Making "The Werewolf?"

Looks like it, with Benicio del Toro as the hairy one.

Hmm, doesn't look as if he'll need much in the way of makeup:

Hugo Chavez Compares German Chancellor Merkel To Nazis

And almost told her to go to Hell, also, but refrained because he's a gentleman.

Besides, I don't think Hitler had boobs this spectactular:



*laughs*

Take it away, Your Majesty:

New Improved Pilot Wee-Wee Bottle

When a military pilot has to use the toilet, what does (s)he do? Glad you asked.

“Pilots have many responsibilities during a mission, maintaining their sights, monitoring fuel, navigating the aircraft and monitoring their weapons systems — and they gotta go so bad they can hardly think,” said Mark Harvie, president of Omni Medical Inc. “This takes care of that problem for them,” he said.

The system, called the Advanced Mission Extender Device, uses special underwear equipped with a hose linked to a pump the size of a paperback book that drains urine into a collection bag.

The men’s model uses a pouch; the women’s has something that resembles a sanitary napkin.

For pilots, the difficulty in answering nature’s call is as old as flying itself.

Over the decades, pilots have used bottles and bags — or just held it in. Many avoid liquids, or make sure their last stop before climbing into the cockpit is a bathroom.

At least twice, F-16s have crashed as their pilots tried to pee.

In 1992, one crashed in Turkey after a belt buckle got wedged between the seat and the control stick. After that, the Air Force changed the recommended procedure, urging pilots not to unbuckle completely.

Some pilots do permanent damage to their bladders by holding it in for hours at a time, which can cause incontinence and other problems later in life.

The push for a better system began in earnest after female pilots started flying fighters in 1993, Harvie said. In 2000, the Pentagon sent out a request for proposals for what might best be described as midair defueling systems.

Harvie answered it.

“I read it over with a couple of my people and we sort of snickered, and said, ‘Oh, you’ve got to be kidding, they must have a solution for this. They’ve been flying airplanes since the early 1900s,’” he said.

But they didn’t.

He applied for a research grant and built a prototype. Omni, which started out as a five-person operation, is now 44 people working out of a building in an industrial park. Over the years, Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Vt., helped the Air Force get $3.3 million for Omni to develop the system.


Oh, that's hilarious. Leahy - - Senator Depends, as Rush Limbaugh calls him for his propensity to leak classified information - - involved in stopping military pilot leaks!

You Horndog, You!

A US Navy Vice Admiral, while still a commander, had sex in the basement of President George H.W. Bush's White House.

Vice Adm. John Stufflebeem seemed to have it all. He rose from deck seaman to a Naval Academy football star whose punting prowess earned him the nickname “Boomer” and a part-time practice gig with the Detroit Lions.

He opted to fly jets instead, logging more than 4,000 hours in several different aircraft, won plum assignments and became a Navy star. As a commander, Stufflebeem was a military aide to President George H.W. Bush, and after rising to flag rank, was the public face of the Afghanistan war as he briefed reporters from the podium at the Pentagon while serving as deputy director of global operations on the Joint Staff.

He went on to command 6th Fleet and, last year, became director of the Navy Staff. A fourth star was all but assured.

And then it all began to unravel.

In January, an anonymous letter revealed an 18-year-old secret that Stufflebeem thought was long buried and forgotten. The letter accused Stufflebeem of carrying on an eight-month affair with a female State Department staffer while the two were assigned to the White House in 1990.


Unlike the US Senate at Bill Clinton's impeachment trial, the US Navy takes crap like this seriously. Admiral Stufflebeem's career is over, and he has put in for retirement.

*laughs to self*

In. The. White House. Basement.

Australian Swimmer Pokes Shark In Eye During Attack

Story.

People are getting better informed about emergency situations like this. It's a technique found in books, magazines, and on TV shows. Good, practical knowledge. And cudos to the female lifeguard who went into the water without hesitation to render assistance.

5 Science Fiction Movies With Realistic Science

via ABC News.

The list:

1. 2001: A Space Odyssey
2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
3. Alien
4. Gattaca
5. Solaris

Of the five, I've only seen one (Alien) and part of another (2001). Click the link for details on why the science is good (and bad) in these movies.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Where's The Gravitas?

When it comes time for Barack Obama to pick a running mate, I wonder if the MSM will harp about his needing to pick someone with gravitas to balance out his own youth and inexperience? I'm willing to bet that gravitas will hardly be mentioned at all, that Obama will be put forward as having the necesary gravitas inherently, a sort of mystical gift from heaven.

Volcano Blog: When Amateur Geologists Attack!

One Lisa Long, writing for something called opednews.com, was looking at images of Mauna Loa volcano in Hawaii and thought she saw signs of an eruption.

Needless to say, Mauna Loa is not erupting, and it's unlikely that you can be the first person to notice an eruption by looking at pictures on Google Earth.

Volcano Blog: Etna, Sicily

Lava spewed Saturday from the southeastern crater of Mount Etna, the highest active volcano in Europe, into an uninhabited area, the Palermo Geophysics and Vulcanology Institute said.

Etna last erupted in November of last year. It's one of the more benign volcanoes in the world; apparently has a combination of a good clear vent and lava with not too much gas content.

Catholic Kansas Governor Takes Communion In Defiance Of Church Teaching

Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius should stop taking Communion until she repudiates her support for the “serious moral evil” of abortion, the Catholic archbishop for northeast Kansas says.

And the Archbishop is in the right. If Sebelius won't abide by the laws of the church, she shouldn't avail herself of its sacraments.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Indiana Jones & The 70 Hats

Indiana Jones has a tougher life than many of us might have expected. To make the most recent film, the following were needed:

* 30 identical fedoras

* 30 leather jackets

* 60 pairs of khaki pants

* 72 shirts

Let's work out the math; say $100 per hat for $3000, $350 per jacket for $10,500, $50 per pants for $3000, and $30 per jacket for $2160, grand total: $18,660.00

And of course as a conservative, I gave a conservative estimate. It might be much higher in Hollywood.

Maple Baseball Bats: Vlad The Impaler Would Approve

Baseball bats made of maple are popular with the players, but are far more dangerous than the traditional bats made of ash.

You're endangering the public, guys, as well as your fellow players and coaches. There are thousands of varieties of wood in the world, do experiments and find one that isn't brittle. Experiment with plywood and stabilized woods, too. Plywood would require changes to the rules of baseball, stabilized woods (even stabilized maple, which might solve the brittleness problem) probably wouldn't.

In the earliest days of baseball, players would carve their own bats, even. Who knows what sort of woods were used back then? Hickory, oak, Osage Orange? Try Apple. There's a world of wood out there to try.

Al-Qaeda Calls For Attacks At Sea

An article posted on an Islamist Web site in April urged Muslim fighters to begin attacking warships and merchant traffic in the strategic choke points around the Arabian Peninsula, according to a project that monitors online extremist activities.

The Jihad Press article, the equivalent of an op-ed column, names a few areas that al-Qaida considers “of supreme strategic importance in the campaign to expel the enemy:” the Red Sea, Yemen’s Gulf of Aden and the Bab Al-Mandeb strait, “the gate of tears,” which connects the Red Sea to the Indian Ocean.

The Jihad Press column cites the October 2000 attack on the destroyer Cole, which killed 17 sailors; and the 2002 attack on the French oil tanker Limburg — both in Yemeni waters — as proof that Islamist fighters can have an effect at sea.


It probably wouldn't be as easy to hit a US Navy target this time, they're much more aware of the threats involved and better prepared to face them, as evidenced in recent incidents in the area where USN-flagged ships fired on small boats.

"Personification of Yob Britain" Gets 3-Year Prison Term

A teenage thug described as "the personification of yob Britain" has been locked up for three years.

Joel Herd, 18, a cannabis smoker, was drunk when he carried out a random attack on a married couple walking home from a village restaurant.

Andrew Miller, 41, a businessman, was punched unconscious and his wife, Jane, 42, was hit repeatedly in the face.

Judge Roderick Denyer told Herd: "You were drunk, you had smoked cannabis and you were out of control.

"You are, I am afraid, the personification of yob Britain."


Here he is, Yobbus Britannicus:

US Military and Okinawa

The Stars and Stripes newspaper has three articles today on relations between the US military and the populace of Okinawa, and the influence that the Okinawan media has in fomenting calls for the military to leave the island.

Okinawa's Newspapers: At War With The U.S. Military?

Newspapers On Okinawa Claim Fair Reporting.

Okinawans Have Mixed Feelings On U.S. Military.

Basically, the Okinawa papers have been giving heavy emphasis to crimes committed by US military members, even though they commit fewer crimes per capita than the civilian population of Okinawa.

Personally, I'm an old-fashioned isolationist; were I President, I'd close all foreign bases, reduce the US military by two thirds, use the savings to pay for US infrastructure, security and a reinforced southern border. Let Europe deal with Russian and the Muslim immigration problem on their own. Guarantee the security of Israel and Taiwan until such time as they no longer require it.

And if Europe embroils itself in another world war? Fuck 'em. I'm tired of the US being treated like shit after all we've sacrificed for those useless people.

Friday, May 09, 2008

A Life On The Ocean Wave...

GLASGOW, Scotland, May 9 (UPI) -- Coast guard officials said a 74-year-old man was lucky to survive his botched attempt at sailing a Scottish sea loch in a child's blow up boat.

John Stevenson, of Glasgow, prompted serious rescue efforts Wednesday when his small dinghy tuned over in the rough waters of Loch Ryan on the Galloway coast, the Scotsman reported Friday.


Apparently his little toy boat floated out to sea and he was just trying to retrieve it. This is one of those stories that you smile about, since it didn't end in tragedy. I can picture the old guy at the pub, wrapped in a blanket, drinking some mulled ale and telling his story over and over again, with the tale growing more ridiculous each time.

NASA Planning Asteroid Landing

Well, there's this rock nearby, see, and it's a large rock, and it's kind of floating through space, and we were worried it was going to hit us, but it's not going to, so we're going to go take a look at it...

What could go wrong?


h/t Instapundit.

Old UK Woman Slaps Foul-Mouthed Boy, Will Be Arrested

Her parish council had already voted to ban football on the village green to protect the floral displays.

But when she saw a group of youths kicking a ball near her treasured blooms Alma Harding decided on more immediate action.

The 63-year-old retired postmistress marched over and ordered them to go to playing fields nearby.

She says she was met with a volley of foul-mouthed abuse, so clutching a roll of parish council minutes, she swiped at a member of the group.

Now Mrs Harding is facing a police inquiry into alleged assault.

Mrs Harding insists she was trying to stop anti-social behaviour next to the village's war memorial in an area where the parish council is planning to put up a sign to stop football being played.

She said: "They were damaging the flowers. I told them to go to the nearby playing fields and asked them when they were going to grow up.

"They were really loud-mouthed and rude to me and I was close enough to get in with a few pieces of paper I was carrying. I have done nothing wrong. It would not have hurt the boy. It was only rolled up paper and I am a little old lady.

"They were damaging my property because I have loaned the hanging baskets. We don't get any funding for flowers, only donations to help and it costs a fortune."

The boy's mother complained to police that her son has been slapped across the face.

"My child had been assaulted," she said. "It is not acceptable for a stranger to go up to a child and hit them.

"If he had hit her, he would have been in the cells. I swear on his life he didn't say anything rude to her and I would ground him forever if it were the case.


You weren't there, honey, and I don't believe your little offspring is anything other than an evil little git. There's so many tales of this sort of hooliganism that it makes your protestations about his innocence suspect.

Anyway, here's the postmistress, looking like a Monty Python Pepperpot:

Fired Over A Doughnut?

I apparently missed the original story, so I'm glad the woman was re-hired.

This sort of corporate callousness is on the increase, along with its official cousin, bureaucratic callousness. I think sometimes that people need to take a deep breath and remember that they're dealing with fellow humans.

Canadian Scientists To Study US Warships From War of 1812.

Story.

The ships might be fairly well preserved, shipwrecks in cold water typically are.

Rather Unemployable

NEW YORK, May 8 (UPI) -- Veteran U.S. newsman Dan Rather says in his amended lawsuit against CBS that his recent past with the company means he can't get a job now elsewhere.

Rather, 76, said that since he and CBS parted ways, CNN, ABC, NBC, Fox, HBO, the History Channel, A&E and the Discovery and National Geographic channels have all declined to hire him.


FOX? He actually put in an application with FOX?

*gales of uproarious laughter*


update: As always, welcome, Ace of Spades HQ morons!

Australian Road Sign Artist Keeps 'Em Entertained

The sign with a black half-circle and the word "Hump" is intended to advise motorists of a bump in the road, but one artist has taken the language a bit too literally and adjusted the picture to look like a man and woman lying together.



You'll notice some scoundrel has tried to prevent wide dissemination (so to speak) of this image by disabling right-click.

Right click? I don't need no stinkin' right click!

I always thought, by the way, that the perfect stripper tattoo would be a road sign sprouting from the girl's pubic hair: SLIPPERY WHEN WET

Amazing Survival Story Of The Day

Man Drives 15 Miles After Attack By Grizzly.


Pussy.*















*Not really. It's commendable for 2008. Different times.

Mint To Change Metals In US Coins?

Specifically the penny and the nickle, which currently cost more than their face value to mint.

The plan approved by Congress calls for both to be made mostly of steel, which will drastically reduce their cost. No idea what this will do to their ability to feed through machines such as snack and soda machines (nickles, obviously, not pennies).

Can't Teach An Old Murderer New Tricks

Randall Lee Smith, who murdered two Appalachian Trail hikers in 1981 and served a sentence in prison for it until his parole in 1996, has just been arrested for shooting two more AT hikers near the same spot.

It's incidents like this that have inspired the easing of federal regulations about carrying concealed weapons in National Parks.

Science Catches Up To Star Trek - - Again

Apparently the newest thing in mortuary science involves dissolving human bodies with lye, which results in a liquid that can be poured down a drain, and a small amount of powdered remains, that can be buried/saved in urns.

Which is sort of what happened in the classic Star Trek episode By Any Other Name, in which aliens capture the Enterprise and reduce most of the crew into powdery dodecahedrons:



It's also the episode where Scotty uses Scotch Whisky as a weapon:



In any event, it's a good thing that this process wasn't well-known when Keith Richards' father died, or we'd have stories of Keith drinking Dad.

Cutting Your Own Throat To Save Your Own Life

World's Largest Gonads Award tonight goes to Steve Wilder of Omaha, Nebraska, who used a steak knife from his kitchen to give himself a tracheotomy when he awoke to find himself unable to breathe.

That calls to mind one of my favorite episodes of M*A*S*H, in which Father Mulcahy had to perform a tracheotomy on a choking soldier with his pen knife.

Bravo Zulu, Steve Wilder.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Blogging Lightly Today.

Had carpet cleaners in this morning, so much furniture moving to do, and I have to hit the hay before 4:00 p.m., since I work 3rd shift. I'll try to post a few things from work; otherwise, tommorow.

Obama-Clinton "Dream Ticket?"

Story.

There's no doubt at all that Hillary would leap at the VP job if offered. Would she give the ticket Cheney-line "gravitas?" She'd pretty much guarantee a lock on New York for the Democrats in November.

The downside is her hunger for the top spot herself, which will lead many to think that she'll be hoping for something to happen to Obama, so she can take the Lyndon Johnson role as an unpopular and corrupt successor to a popular and charismatic president. The worst of her enemies will mutter darkly about Vincent Foster and wonder if she'll somehow do the job herself, or have flunkies do it.

You'll notice I'm not mentioning a horrible word beginng with "a." Frankly, I'd rather not have government bots crawl this post and send word to the S*ecret S*ervice that I need looking at.

Of course, all of that is moot if John McCain wins the presidency, which is my preferred outcome.

Candye Kane Recovering From Cancer Surgery

Blues singer and former adult film star Candye Kane is recovering from surgery for pancreatic cancer.

All best wishes to Candye, and hoping for a full and speedy recovery!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Ethos? WTF Is An Ethos?

The US Navy is looking for an ethos.

Have you seen it? It's got to be around somewhere. In the bilges, maybe, or in the compartment where the Sea Bats are found. Maybe someone smuggled it off the ship and sold it at the local surplus store. Check the heads and the geedunk shop! Maybe we should offer a reward: LOST: ONE US NAVY ETHOS, DESCRIPTION: BELL-BOTTOMED TROUSERS, SUIT OF NAVY BLUE, THREE TATTOOS, TWO HASHMARKS AND ONE SWINGING DICK!

Ethos. Gods help us all.

Hitchens Can Turn A Phrase, Can't He?

Speaking of the competition between Obama and Hillary to court working-class white voters:

"Of all the slogans that Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama might have picked to distinguish themselves from one another, “Prolier Than Thou” was probably the least convincing."

"This Is In No Way An Exercise In Political Correctness."

"We are not watering down what we say."

Various government agencies are getting "guidance" about how to refer to Islamofascist terrorism:

WASHINGTON, May 6 (UPI) -- U.S. officials are being advised in internal government documents to avoid referring publicly to al-Qaida and other terrorist groups as Islamic or Muslim, and not to use terms like jihad or mujahedin, which "unintentionally legitimize" terrorism.

Instead, in two documents circulated last month by the National Counter-Terrorism Center, the multiagency center charged with strategic coordination of the U.S. war on terrorism, officials are urged to use terms like violent extremists, totalitarian and death cult to characterize al-Qaida and other terror groups.

"Avoid labeling everything 'Muslim.' It reinforces the 'U.S. vs. Islam' framework that al-Qaida promotes," reads "Words that Work and Words that Don't: A Guide for Counter-Terrorism Communication," produced last month by the center.

Instead of calling terror groups Muslim or Islamic, the guide suggests using words like totalitarian, terrorist or violent extremist -- "widely understood terms that define our enemies appropriately and simultaneously deny them any level of legitimacy."

By employing the language the extremists use about themselves, the guide warns, officials can inadvertently help legitimize them in the eyes of Muslims.

"Never use the terms 'jihadist' or 'mujahedin' … to describe the terrorists," instructs the guide. "A mujahed, a holy warrior, is a positive characterization in the context of a just war. In Arabic, jihad means 'striving in the path of God' and is used in many contexts beyond warfare. Calling our enemies Jihadis and their movement a global Jihad unintentionally legitimizes their actions."

The guide also bans the use of the word caliphate -- the pan-national Islamic state -- to describe al-Qaida's goal. The term "has positive connotations for Muslims," says the guide, adding, "The best description of what (al-Qaida) really want to create is a 'global totalitarian state.'"


Can't you just hear Orwell's cynical laughter emanating from his grave?

London: Alcohol To Be Banned On Public Transportation

One of Boris Johnson's first acts as the new Mayor of London is to ban alcoholic beverages from public transportation in the capital.

It appears that Boris is going to try and emulate Rudy Giuliani's success in cleaning up New York City via cracking down on small crimes first, hoping that big crime will follow. If you're not willing to build more jail cells to house problem criminals, however, it won't work.

Goin' Fishin'

I don't even have to leave the house, but I'll have to keep a weather-eye out for Gollum; I'm told he has a taste for fish.

So excuse me if the posting is light today.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Incredible Volcano Photograph

Noticed the Daily Mail headline on my feedreader a few seconds ago, and clicked the link. Sure enough, it is a gorgeous shot, taken by Carlos Gutierrez for the UPI:



Looks like the Wrath of God, doesn't it?

Another Victim...

...of "Empty Glock" syndrome:

RIVERDALE, Utah (AP) -- The police chief who shot himself in the ankle was waving a loaded pistol and being careless, according to two students who were attending his class to qualify for a concealed-weapons permit. "We were told the gun is the chief's personal sidearm, but it looked to me like he didn't know anything about the gun," Lewis Walker said.

Bart Ulm, another student seeking certification to carry a concealed weapon, said he was surprised Chief Dave Hansen was using a loaded gun to show how it worked.

"Right then, I was very leery, because there's no need to have live ammo in a gun in the class. But I figured he's the chief, so he must know what he's doing," Ulm told the Standard-Examiner of Ogden.

Hansen held the Glock 40 under a table to disassemble it when a bullet fired, Walker said.

The chief cried, "I'm hit," and fell over. Students who were screaming "Officer down!" were urged to call 911.

Walker said he didn't have confidence in the investigation.

"I think Riverdale police are just trying to keep this quiet and act like the chief is a hero. But if you ask me, he's really stupid," Walker said. "His state certification to teach concealed-weapons classes should be taken away from him. This was totally gross negligence."

Ulm said there was a moment of levity during the emergency.

He said an officer at the scene joked that "instead of shooting himself, he should have used the Taser."

*((^(^&%%*)*&! Gout!

That is all.

What Crime? Oh, That Crime? Didn't Happen.

It's not a crime if you don't report it as a crime.

Police in Norfolk, UK are planning to "reduce" crime by ending the reporting of some crimes, such as vandalism and criminal mischief.

Somewhere George Orwell is laughing cynically.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Amy Winehouse: Not Long Before The End

My prediction, made this 5th day of May, 2008: Amy Winehouse will, barring intervention from true friends or the authorities, be dead of her own excesses before May 5th comes around again.

Disturbing pictures of someone who was reasonably attractive at one time.

If you read biographies of Keith Richards, you'll discover an endless parade of people like this, all trying to emulate Keith's indestructible debauched lifestyle. Some have died: most famously, country musician Gram Parsons. Keith has seen it happen plenty of times, and even warned Amy in print that it was happening to her, but the victims always seem oblivious.

I'll Just Guess...

...that the body will be found to have gunshot wounds. Or water in the lungs from drowning.

Just call me "Sherlock."

Marcel's Talkin' Chainsaw, NC Edition

A Lincoln County man was charged with assaulting his wife with a chainsaw during a domestic dispute, authorities said Monday.

Ray Lee Correll, 27, of Iron Station was charged with assault with a deadly weapon with intent to kill and inflicting serious injury. He was being held without bond in the Harven A. Crouse Detention Center.


Not Obama voters, obviously.

*snort* Haaaaaaw! They GAVE Marcel the beer joint!