For You Newcomers To Charlotte

A list of tips, courtesy of The Charlotte Observer's columnist Mark Washburn. Here's a few examples:

We don't care how you do it where you come from. We only care how we do it here.

Here's how we do it.

People who were raised here, and there still are a few, don't lean on the horn when you're sitting in front of them at a green light gawking at your phone. They walk up and peck on the window to see if you're alive. This will scare the daylights out of you the first couple times.

There are two big lakes. People say they live "up on the lake" or "down on the lake." That means they live somewhat near a lake, not on a lake. Some of them have never actually seen the lake they live on.

Only newscasters call it "the Queen City."

We have drills here to see how we'd react if all the nuclear reactors exploded at once. These drills are called "sleet."

We do not plow our roads when it snows because we are religious. Our thinking is, God put it there and God will take it away when He's done. He's usually done the same day.

If you're from somewhere up North and know how to drive in snow, feel free to take your big four-wheel drive out and roar around. Most quarries hereabouts have a selection of affordable tombstones themed to "killed by a careening beer truck."

Zoning rules require every subdivision to contain one "fun block," meaning there are two families on the street from New Jersey.

Don't fall into the habit of saying "bless your heart" until you know what it means.

That's how we do it here. Get with it.


I'll add one of my own: If you spend much of your time telling the locals how much better things worked back where you came from, by all means feel free to go back there.