Where Not To Go

In the grand tradition of What Not To Wear, I suppose.

Can't Be Arsed: 101 Things Not To Do Before You Die points out that most "once in a lifetime" experiences will either end in disappointment or something much worse.

Author Richard Wilson, the TV producer behind Have I Got News For You, has written a book which bears a slight resemblance to the cult 1999 travel guide, 100 Things To Do Before You Die co-written by Dave Freeman, who died after falling at his home last month, and Neil Teplica.

But instead of marvelling at world sites, Wilson suggests avoiding places like the Taj Mahal and the Egyptian pyramids.

Wilson writes: "Advice to anyone about to travel to Thailand is simple. Before you go, sort out a decent photo of yourself, preferably taken at a party smiling and celebrating the joy of being alive, because the newspapers and TV news bulletins will want something to accompany the article about your tragic death."

Mr Freeman's book suggested taking a voodoo pilgrimage in Haiti, nude night surfing in Australia and competing in a yelling competition in North Carolina.

And about Machu Picchu, he writes: "It's a 6,000-mile journey – 12 thrombotic hours on a plane followed by a bladder-bursting seven-hour bus ride – to see something you could watch Michael Palin climbing up on TV – all in the company of the 400,000 intensely irritating gap-year students who think it's totally awesome, dude."

*snort*