Have You Ever Read...

...the Silver John stories of Manly Wade Wellman?

If not, you've been missing out:

I swear I'm licked before I start, trying to tell you all what Mr. Onselm looked like. Words give out—for instance, you're frozen to death for fit words to tell the favor of the girl you love. And Mr. Onselm and I pure poison hated each other. That's how love and hate are alike.

He was what country folks call a low man, more than calling him short or small; a low man is low otherwise than by inches. Mr. Onselm's shoulders didn't wide out as far as his big ears, and they sank and sagged. His thin legs bowed in at the knee and out at the shank, like two sickles point to point. On his carrot-thin neck, his head looked like a swollen pale gourd. Thin, moss-gray hair. Loose mouth, a bit open to show long, even teeth. Not much chin. The right eye squinted, mean and dark, while the hike of his brow twitched the left one wide. His good clothes fitted his mean body like they were cut to it. Those good clothes were almost as much out of match to the rest of him as his long, soft, pink hands, the hands of a man who never had to work a tap.

You see what I mean, I can't say how he looked, only he was hateful.

You'll meet strange monsters here, like The Behinder and The Culverin, witch-men like Mr. Onselm, mentioned above; and even the ghost of George Washington. If you're a musician who plays guitar, you'll want to hunt up silver strings for your guitar, and you might just shoulder the instrument and stride off along the road, headed for the mountains, once you've done so. Don't say I didn't warn you.