Maurice "Dogshit" Franklin.
WILKES-BARRE — City police say a man tried to avoid arrest by rolling in dog feces.
Showing posts with label feces. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feces. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Friday, January 17, 2014
Headline of the Day
"IRANIAN MAN DOES NOT WASH FOR 60 YEARS, SMOKES ANIMAL FECES."
Why do they need nukes when they have him? Just parachute him into Times Square on New Year's Eve and it's all over. Pic:
Why do they need nukes when they have him? Just parachute him into Times Square on New Year's Eve and it's all over. Pic:
Tuesday, April 09, 2013
The Princess of Poop
Remember a while back I blogged on the practice of using feces from a healthy donor to cure Clostridium Dificile infections in sick patients? Well, the procedure is now being performed here in Charlotte, NC.
Before Kee prepares a donation, she dons two surgical masks that she has sprayed with a “Rain Fresh” fragrance from an aerosol can.
“Two things you need in this job,” she said. “A sense of humor and good air freshener.”
Properly masked, gowned and gloved, Kee drops a scoop of the sample into a cheap Hamilton Beach blender and mixes it with salt water to produce what she calls “liquid gold.”
Each blender gets used only once.
When the mixture reaches the right consistency, she pours it through a gauze filter, and then fills more than a half dozen huge syringes. These go to Schneider, who uses them to transfer the healthy material into a sedated patient as part of a colonoscopy.
“There’s a big ‘ick’ factor” to the job, Kee said. She lost a few assistants who couldn’t stand the smell. But Kee embraces her reputation as “the Princess of Poop” and keeps her focus on the patients.
“You’re helping people,” she said.
Apparently feces transplants were used by the Chinese as long ago as the fourth century, and have been used in treating animal disorders for a while, too.
Before Kee prepares a donation, she dons two surgical masks that she has sprayed with a “Rain Fresh” fragrance from an aerosol can.
“Two things you need in this job,” she said. “A sense of humor and good air freshener.”
Properly masked, gowned and gloved, Kee drops a scoop of the sample into a cheap Hamilton Beach blender and mixes it with salt water to produce what she calls “liquid gold.”
Each blender gets used only once.
When the mixture reaches the right consistency, she pours it through a gauze filter, and then fills more than a half dozen huge syringes. These go to Schneider, who uses them to transfer the healthy material into a sedated patient as part of a colonoscopy.
“There’s a big ‘ick’ factor” to the job, Kee said. She lost a few assistants who couldn’t stand the smell. But Kee embraces her reputation as “the Princess of Poop” and keeps her focus on the patients.
“You’re helping people,” she said.
Apparently feces transplants were used by the Chinese as long ago as the fourth century, and have been used in treating animal disorders for a while, too.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Eat Sh*t...and Live
Scientists have discovered that transplanting fecal matter from a healthy donor to someone with a c. dificile bowel infection will cure the infection with far better success than antibiotics.
And, contrary to my provocative blog post title, no eating is involved. A nasal tube fed into the small intestine, or an enema, is used to introduce the fecal matter.
C. dificile infections are becoming more common because of widespread use of powerful antibiotics. They can be lethal, especially in the elderly.
h/t Instapundit.
And, contrary to my provocative blog post title, no eating is involved. A nasal tube fed into the small intestine, or an enema, is used to introduce the fecal matter.
C. dificile infections are becoming more common because of widespread use of powerful antibiotics. They can be lethal, especially in the elderly.
h/t Instapundit.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Remember the Goose That Laid the Golden Eggs?
Let me introduce you to the man who is going to shit diamonds.
WINDSOR, Ontario Police in the Canadian province of Ontario say they are holding a man who is accused of swallowing a $20,000 diamond as long as it takes for him to produce the evidence.
It has been nearly a week since Richard Mackenzie Matthews, 52, is alleged to have switched a diamond at Precision Jewellers and swallowed the real one.
Matthews has been held at police headquarters while they wait for the 1.7-carat stone to pass through his system. Sgt. Brett Corey said Thursday that Matthews has gone to the washroom numerous times, but the diamond hasn't passed.
I wonder if that sharply-faceted diamond is scraping and cutting his intestines as it moves down the ol' alimentary canal?
WINDSOR, Ontario Police in the Canadian province of Ontario say they are holding a man who is accused of swallowing a $20,000 diamond as long as it takes for him to produce the evidence.
It has been nearly a week since Richard Mackenzie Matthews, 52, is alleged to have switched a diamond at Precision Jewellers and swallowed the real one.
Matthews has been held at police headquarters while they wait for the 1.7-carat stone to pass through his system. Sgt. Brett Corey said Thursday that Matthews has gone to the washroom numerous times, but the diamond hasn't passed.
I wonder if that sharply-faceted diamond is scraping and cutting his intestines as it moves down the ol' alimentary canal?
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
The Case of the Explosive Pigshit Foam
Scientists aren't sure what causes it, but it's foamy, full of methane, and will explode if a spark is generated near it.
Pic:
Ya know, I think I just figured out the perfect weapon in the war on Islam...
Pic:
Ya know, I think I just figured out the perfect weapon in the war on Islam...
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
Who Knew?
Down the road in Rock Hill, SC, residents make the startling discovery that, when used as fertilizer and spread over farm fields, shit stinks.
That's how you know a nation is too far from its rural roots.
That's how you know a nation is too far from its rural roots.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Lede Sentence of the Day
"The next time you see a raccoon pictured with a park ranger's hat, imagine it instead with the robe and scythe of the grim reaper."
Whoa! That got my attention! Let's read on:
Bellingham resident Jon Shaughnessy learned about the downside of raccoons soon after he found some of their potentially deadly droppings beneath his porch.
"I said, 'Whoa, this is serious stuff,'" he said. "People die from it."
He's right. Read on, but the story isn't pretty.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
Many raccoons have roundworms called Baylisascaris in their intestines. The roundworms produce millions of eggs, which are passed on in the raccoon's feces. Those hardy eggs can take hold inside people and can cause fatal brain infections.
It's been out there all this time, and I never knew!
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
Many raccoons have roundworms called Baylisascaris in their intestines. The roundworms produce millions of eggs, which are passed on in the raccoon's feces. Those hardy eggs can take hold inside people and can cause fatal brain infections.
WHERE IS THE PROBLEM?
Infected raccoons have been found throughout the country. The critters often defecate in woodpiles; beneath porches; by and on trees; on decks, roofs and garages; and on flat surfaces, such as logs, stumps and large rocks.
When researchers inspected the backyards of 119 suburban Chicago homes, they found raccoon latrines in 61 of them. Fourteen of the latrines had roundworm eggs.
Raccoon feces, by the way, are generally dark, tubular and blunt in shape, strong-smelling, and often full of seeds and other food debris.
HOW DO PEOPLE BECAME SICK?
People who ingest the eggs risk illness and death. Once inside your intestines, the eggs hatch into larvae, which can travel to the brain, liver, spinal cord and other parts of your body.
Victims often are children who have put infected dirt, objects or water in their mouth.
Okay, so you have to eat it. I don't know anyone who eats raccoon shit. Wait a minute - - "infected dirt, objects or water in their mouth." Damn, that means you can get it just from drinking water in the wild. Yet another reason to never go camping!
Gah. Even the Boy Scouts never warned us about raccoon shit. Maybe they need to add that to their manual, give out a Merit Badge for identifying and cleaning up raccoon shit safely.
SPREAD THE WORD! IT'S OUT THERE! IT COULD BE IN YOUR YARD!
Whoa! That got my attention! Let's read on:
Bellingham resident Jon Shaughnessy learned about the downside of raccoons soon after he found some of their potentially deadly droppings beneath his porch.
"I said, 'Whoa, this is serious stuff,'" he said. "People die from it."
He's right. Read on, but the story isn't pretty.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
Many raccoons have roundworms called Baylisascaris in their intestines. The roundworms produce millions of eggs, which are passed on in the raccoon's feces. Those hardy eggs can take hold inside people and can cause fatal brain infections.
It's been out there all this time, and I never knew!
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
Many raccoons have roundworms called Baylisascaris in their intestines. The roundworms produce millions of eggs, which are passed on in the raccoon's feces. Those hardy eggs can take hold inside people and can cause fatal brain infections.
WHERE IS THE PROBLEM?
Infected raccoons have been found throughout the country. The critters often defecate in woodpiles; beneath porches; by and on trees; on decks, roofs and garages; and on flat surfaces, such as logs, stumps and large rocks.
When researchers inspected the backyards of 119 suburban Chicago homes, they found raccoon latrines in 61 of them. Fourteen of the latrines had roundworm eggs.
Raccoon feces, by the way, are generally dark, tubular and blunt in shape, strong-smelling, and often full of seeds and other food debris.
HOW DO PEOPLE BECAME SICK?
People who ingest the eggs risk illness and death. Once inside your intestines, the eggs hatch into larvae, which can travel to the brain, liver, spinal cord and other parts of your body.
Victims often are children who have put infected dirt, objects or water in their mouth.
Okay, so you have to eat it. I don't know anyone who eats raccoon shit. Wait a minute - - "infected dirt, objects or water in their mouth." Damn, that means you can get it just from drinking water in the wild. Yet another reason to never go camping!
Gah. Even the Boy Scouts never warned us about raccoon shit. Maybe they need to add that to their manual, give out a Merit Badge for identifying and cleaning up raccoon shit safely.
SPREAD THE WORD! IT'S OUT THERE! IT COULD BE IN YOUR YARD!
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
Sh*t Runs Downhill...
...which has the US Government unhappy with the Amish.
We must fling the shit in the approved way, Jedediah.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Your Road Smells Like Sh*t
Literally.
Turning hog manure into asphalt.
Ain't science wonderful?
afterthought: will Jews and Muslims be able to travel on such unclean roads?
Turning hog manure into asphalt.
Ain't science wonderful?
afterthought: will Jews and Muslims be able to travel on such unclean roads?
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
He's Violating Our Dunghill
Sometimes the world gets you so down that you just want to masturbate while sitting in a pile of manure.
Not me. David Truscott of Redruth, England is the dunghill chicken-choker. He's in trouble because the dunghill in question isn't his own, so he's guilty of trespassing and thus in deep doo-doo with the local police, so to speak...
Not me. David Truscott of Redruth, England is the dunghill chicken-choker. He's in trouble because the dunghill in question isn't his own, so he's guilty of trespassing and thus in deep doo-doo with the local police, so to speak...
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
A Real Sh*tkicker
A senior citizen from North Dakota who was hosting a loud party responded to police requests to reduce the noise by defecating on the floor and kicking the feces at the officers.
Can't you just picture it? Oh, yeah? Well, I'll show you!
Can't you just picture it? Oh, yeah? Well, I'll show you!
Damn, Man, Why Not Just Watch Porn?
A Maine man has been arrested for the second time on charges of being a peeping Tom after he was observed crawling out of an outhouse pit toilet.
It boggles the mind that he'd even do this once, but to do it twice?
It boggles the mind that he'd even do this once, but to do it twice?
Monday, August 24, 2009
In Yet More Moose News...
...the organizers of the Talkeetna (Alaska) Moose Dropping festival are planning to discontinue the overly popular festival after the shit hit the fan a festival-goer drowned, which raised a big stink caused much controversy.
That story is loaded with just too many possibilities for satire for just one person to handle. Anyone wishing to volunteer jokes and snarks on this story is invited to do so.
That story is loaded with just too many possibilities for satire for just one person to handle. Anyone wishing to volunteer jokes and snarks on this story is invited to do so.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Cuba: The Toilet Paper Apocalypse
Cuba is running out of toilet paper.
I'm sure if they recycled The Collected Speeches of Fidel Castro that the situation would be alleviated to a large extent.
I'm sure if they recycled The Collected Speeches of Fidel Castro that the situation would be alleviated to a large extent.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
The Dung Hits The Fan...
...at the annual Talkeetna, Alaska, Moose Dropping Festival.
What a crappy way for people to behave...
What a crappy way for people to behave...
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