Thursday, June 30, 2011

Well, Bacon Is a Serious Matter

A woman beat her 9-year-old grandson for taking too much bacon at the breakfast table.

Apparently the boy wasn't taught proper etiquette about portion size, but it's hard to control yourself when bacon is involved.

h/t Drudge Report.

Independence Day: Republican Propaganda!

That's how Harvard University views it, anyway.

h/t Drudge Report.

Gillian Welch On Tour, Coming To a Town Near You

If you're incredibly lucky, that is.

I think I read in the Wilmington, NC, newspaper that she's going to be in Wilmington later this year, performing at a small festival at the USS North Carolina memorial. That would be one hell of a nice gig to go to.

Provide Input Into The Drawn Cutlass Lifestyle

Tomorrow is Friday and payday here at The Drawn Cutlass. I thought I'd make a poll and let my readers decide what tomorrow's lunch will be. During the weekdays I typically eat breakfast at work before I leave for the day (I work third shift, and get off of work just as most people are beginning work), then a baked chicken thigh for lunch, and a small meal when I return to work at 11:00 p.m.

Fridays are an exception, I tend to splurge on Fridays. I'm debating on two equally great options, and you can help me decide which to choose.

Choice One is cheeseburgers grilled here at home, by me, on the charcoal grill. A package of 80% lean ground chuck is acquired, typically it weighs out to 1.25lb. Toasted onion rolls from the deli, and two pieces of American Cheese per burger, it all totals out to huge, thick, perfectly grilled 3/4 lb. cheeseburgers.

Option Two is to go to The Q Shack, one of my local BBQ restaurants (it's 2 miles from the house!) and pick up a pound of sliced BBQ beef brisket to bring home. Once home, hamburger rolls are toasted in the oven, brisket is added, and Stubbs' Spicy BBQ Sauce is added. I attempt to eat the entire pound of BBQ, usually I succeed. It's difficult, because the Q Shack usually adds some of their great hush puppies to the box.

So: Burgers or BBQ? You decide. I'll photograph whichever one you choose next to a copy of tomorrow's Charlotte Observer newspaper, so you have proof of which I ate.

And now, the poll:

Cheeseburgers or BBQ?
BBQ free polls

update: I'll announce the results of the poll at 6:00 Friday morning.

update 2: And if there's a tie at 6:00 a.m. on Friday, I'll cast the tie-breaking vote myself, like the Vice-President does in the Senate.

update 3: And the winner is...barbecue! By 6 votes to 3 votes.

Looks Like Some Fascist Cops...

...have picked the wrong people to abuse.

RALEIGH -- RALEIGH -- RALEIGH -- The state Highway Patrol is investigating the actions of a trooper accused of falsely arresting a Raleigh mother in Wilmington, mistreating her and then orchestrating an unjustified traffic stop of her husband.

The internal affairs probe was triggered after Raleigh attorney Hoyt Tessener sent an eight-page letter on Friday to Gov. Bev Perdue and other officials detailing the experience of his wife, Gina, earlier this month with Senior Trooper Edward S. Wyrick.

Patrol spokesman 1st Sgt. Jeff Gordon said Wyrick, 34, was still on the road Wednesday. The agency's internal investigation will be "fair, impartial and thorough," Gordon said in an email.

Read the whole amazing thing. I've sent it on to Radley Balko at The Agitator.

Just This Minute...

...I looked out of the window and saw a deer in the driveway. 2:20 p.m. on a bright, sunny Thursday afternoon.

Painful But True.


I can only say that I never intended to live out my life here, and will eventually leave it to the Usual Suspects® to do with as they did to Detroit.

Off To the Reeducation Camp With Him

Time magazine editor Mark Halperin called President Obama "a dick" when asked his opinion of the President's performance during the Wednesday news conference.

Halperin is, no doubt, locked in an MSM cell at this very moment, feeding tube inserted, and large quantities of liberal Kool-Aid is being poured down his throat. He should be all better in a day or so.

h/t Jammie Wearing Fool.

update: Crybaby Obama sends his press secretary to whine about Halperin.

Jammie Wearing Fool says: If Halperin called Bush a “dick” he would have been given his own show on MSNBC before they even went to commercial break.

True enough.

The Luckiest Unlucky Man In the World

Melvin Roberts of Seneca, SC, who has been struck by lightning six times - - and survived each strike.

One has to wonder what Melvin's relationship with the Almighty is like.

Sent the link to Drudge, let's see if he runs it.

Another Murder... Charlotte's east side murder hot spot, Farm Pond Lane.

View Larger Map

Once upon a time it was a nice area, until the Usual Suspects® began moving out there in large numbers, and where the Usual Suspects® go, so also goes murder, rape and robbery.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Treasure Blog: Ming Dynasty Porcelain

In a shipwreck off the coast of Indonesia, valued at nearly 70 million USD.


What Does "Go Bush" Mean To You?

Does it mean:

A. You're a fan of former US President George W. Bush?

B. You're a fan of unshaven pubic areas?

C. You're from Sydney, Australia, and the government wants you to move to the country?

If you answered C., you're correct. And you'll even get paid to do so.

Shipwreck Blog: Unidentified, St. Augustine, Florida

This article concerns the retrieval of cannons, which will undergo conservation processing which, hopefully, will lead to marks that might identify the shipwreck.

It purportedly dates from the 1776-1810 period. Possession of Florida changed from Great Britain to Spain during that period.

Self-Defense, UK Style

Fireplace pokers and kitchen knives.

'If an old lady finds she has got an 18-year-old burgling her house and she picks up a kitchen knife and sticks it in him, she has not committed a criminal offence and we will make that clear,’ Mr Clarke said.

There is no doubt that you or I or anybody else is entitled to use reasonable force to defend ourselves and to protect ourselves or our homes or both.

‘We will make it quite clear you can hit the burglar with the poker if he is in the house and you have a perfect defence if you do so.’

Realistically, is the average old lady even going to attempt to tangle with an 18-year-old? The disparity in force is too great. Still, it's a step forward from the days when Labour was in charge and honest citizens jailed for defending themselves and their homes.

Random Fact of the Day

I was just reading this blog entry from the Wilmington, NC, food writer, and it struck me that, at 49 years of age, I have never tasted a pistachio nut. Nor even tried pistachio ice cream.

So, I guess I'll try some of both in the near future.

Stone Walls, Then and Now

"There is Jackson, standing like a stone wall! Rally behind the Virginians!" - - General Barnard E. Bee, battle of First Manassas, 1861.

"There is Obama, standing like a stone wall! Rally behind the President!" - - the MSM, President Obama's 29 June 2011 news conference.

Treasure Blog: Spanish Shipwreck Coins

Found off Jupiter Inlet, Florida, the coins come from the wreck of the Spanish ship San Miguel de Arcangel and are dated from the 1650's.

Every time I read a story like this I want to buy a metal detector and go treasure hunting myself.

Br'er Terrapin Shuts Down JFK Airport Runway

Terrapins were crossing the runway to get to the other lay their eggs.

Here's what a Diamondback Terrapin looks like:

I read about them recently in Robert Ruark's book The Old Man and the Boy. In one of the final chapters of the book, the Old Man takes the Boy up to Maryland to visit friends and also visit Johns Hopkins Hospital to be diagnosed with the ailment that killed him (not described in the book, I presume cancer). In this Great Depression-era story, the Old Man introduces the Boy to the delights of Terrapin Maryland, Bourbon, Sherry, and Burgundy (the alcoholic beverages called "tea" by the waiter (nudge nudge wink wink say no more!).

I would guess that, since Terrapin isn't much served for food anymore, that they've been slowly repopulating.

It's a Miracle, # 12,616

Kudzu Jesus in Kinston, NC.

Imagine He Liked Reagan

Some startling revelations about John Lennon, from his last personal assistant.

John Lennon was a closet Republican, who felt a little embarrassed by his former radicalism, at the time of his death - according to the tragic Beatles star's last personal assistant.

Fred Seaman worked alongside the music legend from 1979 to Lennon's death at the end of 1980 and he reveals the star was a Ronald Reagan fan who enjoyed arguing with left-wing radicals who reminded him of his former self.

In new documentary Beatles Stories, Seaman tells filmmaker Seth Swirsky Lennon wasn't the peace-loving militant fans thought he was while he was his assistant.

He says, "John, basically, made it very clear that if he were an American he would vote for Reagan because he was really sour on (Democrat) Jimmy Carter.

Expect the denials from Yoko & Co. and commencement of attacks on Fred Seaman's reputation by pissed-off leftists in 3..2..1...

h/t Weasel Zippers.

Joke of the Day...

...over at Firehand's place.

I'm GLAD He Violated Rules 1 & 2

Rule 1 of Jeff Cooper's rules of safe gun handling:

All guns are always loaded. Even if they are not, treat them as if they are.

Rule 2:

Never let the muzzle cover anything you are not willing to destroy. (For those who insist that this particular gun is unloaded, see Rule 1.)

Over in Sanford, NC, Randall T. Butler violated both rules.

Capt. Jeff Johnson says there is nothing to indicate foul play.

Johnson says some friends were in Butler's girlfriend's home when he showed them the safety features of his .22-caliber pistol.

The captain says Butler showed them the safety and how the gun would not fire. Johnson says after Butler pulled the trigger and it didn't fire, he showed them the slide action, put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger again.

Johnson says Butler apparently failed to re-engage the safety.

Oopsy. Gotta hate it when that happens. Except in this case, as Sean at An NC Gun Blog reports, Randall T. Butler was a paroled felon, who legally had no right to own a gun at all. So you won't see tears of sorrow running down my face for Randall T.

Thank you, Mr. Darwin.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Mark Steyn On TSA

TSA Obergropinführer of the Day.

At a small airport the other day, I saw a passenger with a popular attitudinal T-shirt slogan patiently submitting to an enhanced gropedown from the TSA. It was a poignant image of the republic at twilight: a man in a “Don’t Tread On Me” T-shirt being trod all over. I wonder why more Americans aren’t outraged by this:

Her 95-year-old mother was detained and extensively searched last Saturday while trying to board a plane to fly to Michigan to be with family members during the final stages of her battle with leukemia.

Her mother, who was in a wheelchair, was asked to remove an adult diaper in order to complete a pat-down search.

There is a term for regimes that submit law-abiding wheelchair-bound dying nonagenarians to public humiliations without probable cause and it isn’t “republic of limited government.” Given everybody’s touchiness over Kathryn’s North Korean comparisons, I’ll say only this: George III wouldn’t have done this to you.

Today's Musical Interlude...

And the Number of the Pirates of Penzance...

...shall be 8700.


Oh, Wow.

Check out these pics of an underwater cavern complex in the Ural Mountains of Russia:

There's also video at the link.

I'm using this one as my new desktop image. Magnificent.

Please Return Your Submarine To the Upright Position

The CSS Hunley, that is.


Ma Brady with the crabs.


Random Gripe

I dislike it when people use slang, jargon and expressions outside their own ethnicity. I don't like Gentiles using Yiddish expressions such as oy vey!, I don't like white people using Ebonics (horrid memories of growing up watching Dusty Rhodes on Championship Wrestling From Florida) and I don't like anyone other than gay men or black women saying You go, girl!

Stop it, already.

It's Working As Intended

In Defense of Mindless Government Drones.

A must-read over at Reason magazine.

Either this can be fixed within the system, with a presidential candidate prepared to promise to rein in TSA abuses, or it can be fixed outside the system, with sabotage and violence against TSA employees and leaders. I think most of us would prefer the former alternative, the Nathan Hale gene is in short supply these latter days.

Don't Go In the Water...

...if you don't know how to swim.

Natural selection at work.

Eastern Europe Celebrates Reagan's Birthday


I once got into a discussion with an online acquaintance about Reagan's role in ending the Cold War, and she, Pauline Kael-like, said that she didn't know anyone who believed that. She lives in San Francisco, of course.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Stock Up

There Is No Reason For This

Keeping America safe from the maimed, the halt, the infirm, and the elderly.

As I've mentioned before, this needs to be on the platform at the Republican Convention in 2012: reining in TSA abuses and going to a profiling standard for searches.

Meanwhile, Down In Orangeburg County, SC...

...police found a moonshine still while searching for a murder suspect.

Orangeburg County is halfway between Columbia and Charleston, along the I-26 corridor.

Redneck Saturday Night

Who'd stab a woman over an argument regarding a motorcycle?

Terry Wayne Fields, Jr., that's who.

Worse Than Watergate


Blogger Mike Vanderboegh of Sipsey Street Irregulars, the blogger who broke the Gunwalker Scandal, takes Kansas City Star columnist Mary Sanchez to the woodshed over the scandal.


Ruark's use of the phrase antedates Heinlein's use of it. It shows up in chapter 9 of The Old Man's Boy Grows Older:

The thing most nonhunters don't realize about the artistic pain that goes into filling four ounces of flesh-and-feathers or seven tons of elephant with the correct prescription is that when you walk out thataway you got walk back thisaway. Non-fishermen don't realize that the current is likely to run steadily in one direction, and if you float downstream, eventually you have to fight your way upstream. From rabbit to tiger, from bobwhite to buffalo, from sand perch to marlin, there's no such thing as a free lunch.

Now, I'm not saying that Ruark was the first one to use the phrase. According to Wikipedia, it has been in use long before Ruark or Heinlein. My theory, though, is that Heinlein, who was a contemporary of Ruark's, may have seen the phrase in Ruark's book or in the pages of Field and Stream. Since Ruark's use of it came in the early 1960's, it may have inspired Heinlein to use it in The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress, which was being written at roughly the same time.

Just my opinion.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Ruark's List

I'm in the middle of reading Robert Ruark's famous books The Old Man and the Boy and The Old Man's Boy Grows Older. Good books, I'm sorry it took so long for me to discover them.

Many of you are familiar with Robert A. Heinlein's list of things that describe the Competent Man, as described by his character Lazarus Long:

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

Well, long before Heinlein, Ruark had his own list, published in The Old Man's Boy Grows Older:

I could throw a cast net, shoot a gun, row a boat, call a turkey, build a duck blind, tong an oyster, train a puppy, stand a deer, bait a turkey blind (illegal), call the turkey to the blind, cast in the surf, pitch a tent, make a bed out of pine needles, follow a coonhound, stand a watch on a fishing boat, skin anything that had to be skun, scale a fish, dig a clam, build a cave, draw a picture, isolate edible mushrooms from the poisonous toadstools, pole a boat, identify all the trees and most of the flowers and berries, get along with the colored folks, and also practice a rude kind of game conservation.

A list like that makes a modern city boy like me feel inadequate. It would probably make most modern rural boys feel inadequate, if it came down to it. I have to wonder if Heinlein had read Ruark, and had Ruark's list in mind when he wrote his more famous one?

I'm definitely going to have to pay more attention when I'm in Southport again. I'll photograph Ruark's house while I'm there, certainly. It's a bed and breakfast place now, I've passed by it when Sara and I drove about the town.

Well, Well, Well, Lookee Here, Lookee Here...

...we have our very own camera-hating, fascist cops in Charlotte, NC.

h/t Radley Balko.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Peter Falk: R.I.P.


I was never a Columbo fan, but I loved him in The Princess Bride. If you didn't choke with mixed tears/laughter at his final As you wish! line in the move, you have no soul:

As You Wish.

Treasure Blog: George II Farthing, New Bern, NC

Found by a woman picking up litter in a town that pre-dates the formation of the United States.

New Bern was at one time the capital of the colony of North Carolina.


This puts the coin within the time period of the Golden Age of Piracy, which is my particular field of interest.

update: I think that the article has the date wrong on the coin. It appears to be dated from 1739, not 1730. For comparison, here is a 1730 coin found with a Google Image search:

And here is a 1739 farthing:

Update 2: The original story, posted in the News & Observer of Raleigh, NC, does note that the farthing could be from 1730 or 1739, but does not declare it unequivocally.

Wow. It's Sarah Palin's Fault...

..that African-Americans kill each other with guns.

Damn, no wonder liberals fear her.

h/t Weasel Zippers.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Dear Christopher Robin...

...I buggered Tigger, porked Piglet, ate Rabbit and rode Eeyore's lame ass out of here. Grow up and get a girlfriend already, ya little fag.

Yours Truly,


Don't Call Him Pooh Anymore.

Sh*t My Sister Says

"Fat fuck called me at 5:30 this morning, he had to go to the hospital, his daughter-in-law was whelping. She was probably faking. They take them all too early anyway, damn thing didn't weigh nor more than 6 pounds, looked like a little screw monkey."

I'm laughing yet.

Just Rename It Sharia Airlines

No crosses on Delta flights to Saudi Arabia. No Jews, either.

Attack On Seattle Military Recruiting Stations Thwarted


The reason for the planned attack isn't mentioned, but see if you can guess:

Two men have been arrested in a plot to use machine guns and grenades in an attack on a military recruiting station in Seattle that also houses a daycare, the U.S. Justice Department said Thursday.

Abu Khalid Abdul-Latif, also known as Joseph Anthony Davis, of Seattle, and Walli Mujahidh, also known as Frederick Domingue Jr., of Los Angeles, were arrested Wednesday night.

They were scheduled to make initial court appearances Thursday on terrorism and firearms charges.

The building, the Military Entrance Processing Station on East Marginal Way in Seattle, also houses a daycare. Recruits for all military branches are screened and processed there.

As Del Gue famously said in Jeremiah Johnson, "Tweren't Mormons."

h/t This Ain't Hell But You Can See It From Here.

Headline of the Day

Women flock to take horse-semen shots.

Apple-infused horse semen shots might not be an obvious chaser to spring rolls, but they are causing a stir at the Green Man Pub where they are being served.

The shots are part of the central Wellington pub's entry in the nationwide 14th annual Monteith's Beer & Wild Food Challenge.

While the rest of the meal of seared Asian duck and pork and paua spring rolls sounds delicious - it is the Hoihoi tatea, or horse semen drink which is on everyone's minds.

Green Man Pub chef, Jason Varley, said the drink was proving most popular with women.

"Ladies thought it was great a couple were going to go home and get their husbands to eat grass," he said.

But Mr Varley added that some woman had their concerns.

"A couple of them were worried they might bear children with long faces," he joked.

Does this possibly explain Sarah Jessica Parker?

h/t Instapundit.

Obama Taps Strategic Petroleum Reserve

The link between gasoline prices and his political fortunes have become too hard for him to ignore.

National Journal adds:

Republicans have repeatedly slammed President Obama over the unusually high prices, and Obama himself has noted his poll numbers appear to rise and fall with the price of gasoline. Many political strategists say that voter anger over near-record oil and gasoline prices could be a determining factor in the 2012 elections.

Of course, I predicted all of this already.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Open Season On Marines In St. Louis

If you're a little short of money and see a Marine, well, help yourself. He's prohibited from defending himself when it's just money involved.

Yet Another Reason To Go Heeled

It's rabies season here in NC.

Waxhaw, NC, Police Search For Vandals


Waxhaw is a little rail-crossing town just down Highway 16, has a population of 2625, according to Wikipedia.

And yet, this little tiny town has a SWAT team.

You'll usually find the Waxhaw SWAT truck parked at the edge of the parking lot of the Captain's Galley Seafood Restaurant. I haven't ever seen it anywhere else.

Why Waxhaw needs a SWAT team seems baffling to me. I didn't know that it was big enough to justify one. Learn something new every day, I guess. Next time I'm down there I'll take a photo of the SWAT van, if I can do so and not be arrested for interfering with a police investigation.

Bride Bites Husband On Wedding Day


Actually, I don't think it should surprise anyone, after you've seen a pic of the bride:

Ok, that's not a pic of the bride. Click the story link to see what she really looks like. She seems to have a problem with alcohol, too bad the groom didn't figure it out before the wedding. I don't think it's going to be one of the ones that last, if you ask me.

OK, I've Made Up My Mind.

Paul/Paul 2012! Ron for President, Rand for VP.

Here's the latest reason I'm happy with Rand.

And if you're one of the people who say oh he can't possibly win, you're part of the problem. The MSM and the RINO's all say that, and it's code for here's the one we're afraid of. Why should you let the MSM and RINO's dictate your presidential choice?

World Record Catfish Caught In NC Lake?

A 143-lb blue catfish up in Kerr Lake, near Henderson, NC.


Ugly damned thing. Sorry, I'm a bass guy, don't much like catfish.

Random Thought

I'm starting to wonder if Heinlein was correct when he said "An armed society is a polite society." Could it be more likely that, based on events here in the US, that it should be An armed society is a SWAT society?

Did It Include Bacon?

Schoolboy murdered ex-girlfriend 'for a free breakfast'

I mean, if bacon was part of the breakfast, well, ok...

Headline of the Day

FDA concludes silicone breast implants mostly safe.

Mostly safe... mostly.

Where have I heard that before? Oh, yah. I remember:

Jon Stewart Notices Operation Gunwalker

Damn, it's not looking good for Attorney General Mitchell Holder or President Nixon Obama, is it?


Hi, Baby. You Come Here Often?

What Sort of Pervert Do You Have To Be... want to hide in the tank of a Port-O-John?

And to be able to wriggle into the tank? Well, it was a yoga festival, after all...

A Tiny, Hairless RAT!

A Utah man was arrested for eating a live baby rat.

Yes, you heard that right, a RAT.

A Utah man faces an animal cruelty charge after a Facebook video surfaced showing him eating what appeared to be a live baby rat.

Thirty-one-year-old Andy Ray Harris of Tooele was charged with the misdemeanor in April after authorities viewed the video.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals reported it to police.

PETA. *spit*

John Wayne knew how to deal with rats:

Ya Can't Argue With A Rat, Baby Sister. Ya Gotta Kill Him Or Let Him Be.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

I Wuz Robbed!

An 1800-year-old post-mortem complaint of being cheated by a gladiatorial umpire.

Gravestone of Diodorus, Victim of a Bad Call.



Ruark was a Tarheel, born in Wilmington, NC. Over at Southport, just across the Cape Fear River from Wilmington, one of his boyhood homes has been converted into a Bed & Breakfast place.

I've never read these two books, but I've heard great things about them; Massad Ayoob, among others, thinks highly of them. Looks like over 600 pages of nostalgia for forgotten America here. Wish it was available in Kindle form.

Get Yer Glut of John Edwards Schadenfreude Here...

...step right up! You'll never see schadenfreude like we've got here, ladies and gentlemen!

I look inward, searching for a hint of pity. Nope.

Quote of the Day

From Ann Coulter, in response to a question asking her opinion of several conservative pundits: Joe Scarborough, George Will, Charles Krauthammer, and David Brooks:

COULTER: I’m not familiar with the oeuvre of all of these gentlemen (Scarborough is on a little early for me and Brooks is a bore), but I think I get your drift, so without implicating any of them in particular, I will say that alleged conservatives who gratuitously attack fellow conservatives are like the robber being crucified next to Jesus, who joined the mob in taunting Jesus. He’s hanging there, hours from death, a victim of the same howling mob that demanded Jesus’ crucifixion. But even though he was a victim of the mob himself, he was compelled to join the mob. It shows how powerful the instinct to side with the crowd is.

And no, I don't think she's intentionally comparing herself to Christ in that response.

That's Mighty White of You

In UK, the Prime Minister promised to stop dragging homeowners who defend themselves againgst criminals through the courts and into jail.

Of course, in Clintonian fashion, there's a parsing to be done: it depends on what the meaning of "reasonable force" is.

update: And I guess the homeowners will need the benefit of the doubt rather quickly: Killer, chainsaw robber and burglar on the run after walking out of open prison.

Sending Best Wishes Out...

... to Mountain guitarist Leslie West, who has lost part of a leg to diabetes.

Hoping for a quick recovery.

Monday, June 20, 2011

That Idiot Sarah Palin

We have the proof of her idiocy this time:

h/t Hot Air and other places.

The Real Deterrent?

Is prison rape designed as a crime deterrent? I often wonder if it is. There's probably many of us that could tolerate a prison sentence if it only involved solitary confinement: that's the life a monk or hermit lives, after all. But when you factor in the probability of violent rape while incarcerated, tolerance for the experience goes way down.

Louisa Stannow of Reason magazine discusses prison rape in an article for the July issue: Rape Factories.

update: fixed typo. Thanks to Walt for pointing it out.

An Old Favorite

Hudson & Landry: Remember them?

That line Boy, I couldn't live like that! became something of a minor catchphrase for a while back when this piece was popular.

Irony of the Day

MANTEO | Firefighters who have been working on a 70-mile-square wildfire near the North Carolina coast are expecting no relief this week as heat continues to plague the area.

The North Carolina Department of Natural Resources says helicopters were dropping water on flare ups Sunday on the west size of the blaze near Stumpy Point in Dare County.

Think that there might be a reason it's called Stumpy Point?

Dumbass Says What?

Some fellow named Ben Barber seems to think that the US military should be used to rebuild infrastructure here at home.

Over the past decade more than two million U.S. troops have served overseas in battle zones.

What will they do once they are back home and free from the job of war?

First thought that comes to some minds is that there are a number of other countries crying out for a nation-building attempt to make them over into imitation Americas. Our troops are all packed up and ready to be sent to the next battlefield in the war against Godless communism — whoops, we won that one already — well between some obnoxious value system and the American way of life.

He's already snarking, as you can see. 94 million people died as a result of Communism, and you can imagine him sneering and rolling his eyes as he says "Godless communism." So we can figure out he's something of a leftist prick.

Well, earlier and wiser human beings used to say that a powerful military ensures it will never be used. A well-trained and equipped army assures that no one will attack you. Except for a small number of wackos who should be expected from time to time to try and provoke wider wars but should be defeated by police and intelligence work.


So if our courageous soldiers are not going to invade Ivory Coast or Honduras or Fiji, what will they do to keep busy, earn their keep and contribute to the common good? We can’t lay them off in a time of unemployment over nine percent as if they were simply school teachers and auto workers.

Oh, I don't know. Train, maybe? Do you think that soldiers in peacetime sit around reading comic books and masturbating?

And we don’t want them using their skills in mayhem as private contractors in crime or to settle traffic disputes.

Because Lord knows our veterans run apeshit on a regular basis, don't they? Hair-trigger tempers and PTSD, ready to go on murderous rampages. Leftist prick.

So, I propose that the returning soldiers be used to feed the hungry and house the homeless and police the border and teach in rural or inner city schools. Many of these soldiers have learned to do nation building overseas. Let’s do it at home. Building levees, rebuilding after hurricanes, soil conservation, and even caring for the ill and infirm are all needed at home.

Haven't heard of the Posse Comitatus Act, I see. And we have organizations tasked to do what you are asking. They are called the Peace Corps and Americorps.

These patient, smart and tireless soldiers could help American Indians improve their reservations, mentor inner cities youth, and work in healthcare facilities as physical fitness trainers. They could also serve with U.S. foreign aid programs bringing hands-on experience plus a more down-to-earth human contact which is the most powerful way to win friends world wide.

Now I know that all of us who have been trained in our professions are loathe to step back and begin work at something new where we often begin at the bottom. But are soldiers that anxious to return to battle? And wouldn’t it be possible to keep them employed, trained and equipped to respond in a few days to a call up in case of a threat to the United States, much as Israeli men and women remain in the army reserves throughout their working lives?

If you ask them to become nurses, mentors and PT teachers then they aren't training to be soldiers, sailors and airmen, which is what they signed up to do. How many will be willing to work in ghettos and other impoverished areas? At the end of their enlistments they'll simply walk away.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Human Right To Gastric Bypass Surgery?

I don't think so, but this is UK we're talking about.

If you can invent a "human right" to gastric bypass surgery, you can invent a "human right" to just about anything, can't you?

- - A human right to cosmetic surgery because you're ugly as sin.

- - A human right to a boob job because your titties are too small.

- - A human right to a sex change because you want a do-over.

All paid for with other people's hard-earned money. Not your own money.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Two Hundred Thousand...


Apparently, without any natural predators in Tierra del Fuego, they're multiplying like tribbles.

Weird Weather

An hour ago we had a line of squalls come through that dumped a bunch of rain on us and had some gusty winds that got up to 60 MPH. Now, an hour later, the squalls have passed, the sun is shining again, and two 3/4 lb. burgers are on the grill.

Random Thought

I don't mind earworms so much, but why does it have to be the theme song to The Beverly Hillbillies?

William Haast, 1910-2011: R.I.P.

Arguably the world's most famous herpetologist.

My fascination with snakes began in 4th grade when I read a biography of Mr. Haast called Cobras In His Garden. He is famous for making himself (comparatively) immune to venomous snakebite by injecting himself with weakened snake venoms. He was bitten 173 times by venomous snakes in his long career.

Just Another Day At Work.

None Dare Call It Islam

Well, the MSM don't, anyway.

h/t Instapundit.

Headline of the Day

'Northern Southerners' hold party in Brunswick Co.

*spit* (as Kim du Toit used to say)

Friday, June 17, 2011

Dating Advice

Ladies, don't date men who keep venomous snakes.

While it's ok if a man wants you to stroke his anaconda, you should draw the line at milking his black mamba.

Nice Tank Ya Got There, Officer

Radley Balko links the latest in police vehicles.


To Protect (Ourselves) and Serve (No-Knock Warrants)

Thursday, June 16, 2011

I Bet Houdini Never Did That

A 92-year-old Washington state man who used his false teeth to chew through the duct tape with which he was tied up received an award from a third grade class.

The class at Berclair Elementary in Memphis picked Lester Matteson of Shoreline, Wash., to receive the 2011 hero medal after he used his dentures to chew through the duct tape thieves had used to tie him to a kitchen chair in December, KOMO-TV, Seattle, reported Thursday.

I don't have any snarky comments. I'd have been much happier to read that the old guy owned a gun and blew the thieves away, but you can't have everything in this life. I'm glad he lived and showed resolve in a bad situation, and had the tools to deal with it.

What About the Smoke? Where's the Smoke?

Huge mirrors in the sky will be the future of tackling climate change, claim scientists.

Sometimes the material writes itself, folks.

Meanwhile, In League City, Texas...

...they're using too much water.


Psst. Pass It On.

via Reason.

Today's That's Gotta Hurt Post

Canadian hockey rioter takes a flash-bang grenade to the 'nads.


Why Does It Hurt When I Pee? Wait, Nevermind.

There's supposed to be video, but as so often happens, "content unavailable."

h/t The Natural Truth.

If True, Then...Horrible.

The ATF's "gunwalker" scandal may have been responsible for as many as 150 deaths of Mexican law enforcement officers?

Not how you treat a neighbor, I'm thinking.

Fun Little Cartoon

found here.

For Congressman Weiner

A little Mike Oldfield, I think:


Mike Oldfield » Man In The Rain Lyrics

(music and lyrics by Mike Oldfield sung by Cara Dillon, Heather Burnett)

You're the one who's nearly breaking my heart.
Had your chance, you just threw it all away.
Living in a world that you could never be a part of
And never time to walk away.

[ Chorus ]

You can't stay, no, you can't stay.
You're no loser, there's still time to ride that train
And you must be on your way tonight.
Think anew right through, you're a man in the rain.

What's the use in hanging round these walls.
Lamps are burning, but nobody's at home.
There's a new day dawning as a cold rain falls
And now's the time to walk alone.

[ Repeat Chorus ]

How's it feel when there's time to remember?
Branches bare, like the trees in November.

Had it all, threw it all away.
Now's the time to walk away.

[ Repeat Chorus ]

How's it feel when there's time to remember?
Branches bare, like the trees in November.

How's it feel when there's time to remember?
Branches bare, like the trees in November.

[ Repeat Chorus ]

Threw it all away, threw it all away
And now's the time to walk away.

Yer Face On Drugs

A distressing gallery from the UK Telegraph.


They Shot Admiral Byng, Remember

The First Sea Lord of the Royal Navy, Admiral Sir Mark Stanhope, inadvertently spoke truth to power.

Oops. He won't do that again.

Pour encourager les autres!*

*Voltaire, Candide: "in this country, it is good to kill, from time to time, an admiral to encourage the others" (Dans ce pays-ci, il est bon de tuer de temps en temps un amiral pour encourager les autres).

Get Jesse and Al On the Job

Apparently we need affirmative action in the awarding of valor medals in the military.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The Badger Game

badger game

an extortion scheme in which a woman places a man in a compromising position and then victimizes him by demanding money when her male accomplice, pretending to be an outraged husband or relative, enters and threatens violence, scandal, etc.

The badger game appears to be what happened here. It appears not to have worked in this case because the mark didn't have a fear of going to the police. Ideally a badger game mark should be a married man.

Damn Those ATM's Taking Jobs Americans Won't Do

According to President Obama, anyway.

Might as well include self-service gasoline pumps, and drive-through car washes, and grocery store self-scanners, and self-service elevators...

Oh, I'm a Congressman and I'm Okay...

...I sext all night and I work all day.

I vote on bills, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory
On Wednesdays I have quorums
And vote on committees

I'm a Congressman and I'm okay
I sext all night and I work all day

I vote on bills, I skip and jump
I love to press wild flowers
I put on women's clothing
And sext girls after hours

I'm a Congressman and I'm okay
I sext all night and I work all day

I vote on bills, I wear high heels
Suspenders and a bra
I wish I'd been a girly
Just like my dear mama!

He Must Have Never Heard of Spunkwater... he blew the wart off of his finger with a shotgun...

...taking part of the finger with it.

What's spunkwater, you ask? Tom Sawyer will tell you:

"Say -- what is dead cats good for, Huck?"

"Good for? Cure warts with."

"No! Is that so? I know something that's better."

"I bet you don't. What is it?"

"Why, spunk-water."

"Spunk-water! I wouldn't give a dern for spunk- water."

"You wouldn't, wouldn't you? D'you ever try it?"

"No, I hain't. But Bob Tanner did."

"Who told you so!"

"Why, he told Jeff Thatcher, and Jeff told Johnny Baker, and Johnny told Jim Hollis, and Jim told Ben Rogers, and Ben told a nigger, and the nigger told me. There now!"

"Well, what of it? They'll all lie. Leastways all but the nigger. I don't know HIM. But I never see a nigger that WOULDN'T lie. Shucks! Now you tell me how Bob Tanner done it, Huck."

"Why, he took and dipped his hand in a rotten stump where the rain-water was."

"In the daytime?"


"With his face to the stump?"

"Yes. Least I reckon so."

"Did he say anything?"

"I don't reckon he did. I don't know."

"Aha! Talk about trying to cure warts with spunk- water such a blame fool way as that! Why, that ain't a-going to do any good. You got to go all by yourself, to the middle of the woods, where you know there's a spunk-water stump, and just as it's midnight you back up against the stump and jam your hand in and say:

'Barley-corn, barley-corn, injun-meal shorts,

Spunk-water, spunk-water, swaller these warts,'

and then walk away quick, eleven steps, with your eyes shut, and then turn around three times and walk home without speaking to anybody. Because if you speak the charm's busted."

"Well, that sounds like a good way; but that ain't the way Bob Tanner done."

"No, sir, you can bet he didn't, becuz he's the wartiest boy in this town; and he wouldn't have a wart on him if he'd knowed how to work spunk- water. I've took off thousands of warts off of my hands that way, Huck. I play with frogs so much that I've always got considerable many warts.

Of course a couple of things have to happen, first; you have to be aware of spunkwater by having read The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, and you have to have a spunkwater stump available. I guess that's the hard part.

If I Lean Over Just A Little Bit More...

...I'll fall off the top of the waterfall and drop 80 feet to my death.

And so he did. Despite warning signs that say things like danger of death.

I've been up there. The river disappears over a massive, sloping rock, and you really would like to get a glimpse of the water falling eight stories in a nearly vertical drop. Don't be tempted. The rocks are wet with spray, and a light coating of algae makes the surface so slick that just stepping on to the rock can start you sliding toward the edge.

17 years old. What a waste.

Random Thought

I typically listen to Pandora at night while I work. Just listened to a Judy Collins tune, That Song About the Midway, and it struck me that, whenever I've heard her sing, it's always seemed rather cold and soulless, as if she's an alien species that learned the notes and sings them perfectly, without any understanding of their import. Usually her producers add lots of echo, too, so it sounds as if Judy is singing from the bottom of a well.

Republican NC Legislature Gives Dem Governor...

...a taste of the whip.

Hopefully next fall we can throw out both Obama and Perdue.

I Think That My Blog...

...has become a guilty pleasure for many of you, since I seem to have as many visitors as ever, if Sitemeter is to be trusted, but damned few commenters.

Walter Russell Meade: Obama Doesn't Resemble Carter...

...more like Herbert Hoover.

Like Obama, Hoover was the child of a broken home with an unconventional background. He was far more widely traveled than most Americans in his day, and his time overseas made him a globalist in his thinking in many ways. His wife (Lou Henry Hoover) was unusually well educated and assertive — at a time when few women went to college, she graduated from coeducational Stanford with a degree in geology. Hoover was an unconventional candidate who came into office on a tidal wave of support. Hoover, Secretary of Commerce during the Roaring Twenties, had never held elected office before winning the presidency. His campaign went deep into enemy territory, winning over solidly Democratic states in what was still the deep blue South including (like Obama) Florida, Virginia and North Carolina. Hoover was the great progressive hope of his day — he had supported Teddy Roosevelt’s 1912 Bull Moose campaign and was seen as much more forward looking and progressive than the party machine. He ran on the most diverse presidential ticket until Barack Obama’s own election in 2008; Hoover’s running mate, Kaw nation member Charles Curtis, was the first Native American and the first American with significant non-European ancestry to serve as Vice President of the United States. Hoover continued to burnish his diversity credentials in the White House; he was the first president since Theodore Roosevelt to invite an African American to a White House dinner and he wanted progress on Native American issues to be a hallmark of his administration. Hoover was also deeply concerned about the health of the middle class and the condition of the poor. He was an early backer of the long term, low interest mortgage that became the cornerstone of middle class finance, and he came into office hoping that prosperity would eliminate poverty in the United States.

Read the whole thing, as they say.

Pima County SWAT Team Cleared... the death of former US Marine Jose Guerena.

No word on whether Sheriff Dupnik has given them medals yet.

h/t This Ain't Hell But You Can See It From Here.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The Florida Golf Course Prairie Dog

Down near Sarasota.

"He's a new conversation piece at Bobby Jones Golf Club," golf pro Christian Martin said. "It's a buzz right now for sure."

Prairie dogs are not usually found further east than Missouri, but golf course officials said some area pet stores sell the animals as pets. Martin said he believes the animal, which seems comfortable around humans, likely used to be a pet.

"It's a pretty cool little critter, and I just hope it doesn't dig up the golf course," he said.

I'd link some Caddyshack video, but all of that has embedding disabled. Damnit.

The War of the Crows and Cops

In Everett, Washington.

The Everett Police Department said the crows, which live in a tree next to the north precinct office, have been dive-bombing officers for the past few days, The (Everett) Daily Herald reported Monday.

Everett police Lt. Bob Johns said he recently "got zinged" by the birds.

"They're like velociraptors," he said.

Police said one officer attempted to ward off the crows using the siren in his patrol car and the birds responded by covering the cruiser in their feces.


Not Yer Responsible Gun Use Story of the Day

An elderly Pennsylvania couple, 83 and 89, were arrested after threatening to shoot their neighbor, whom they said was placing cat feces in their yard.

They have only themselves to blame, since they were feeding neighborhood strays, which apparently were defecating in the neighbor's yard. I wonder how much cat crap the neighbor collected before dumping it into their yard? *pictures wheelbarrow full*

I Had Better Come Clean

Since two prominent "lesbians" have been revealed to be heterosexual men, I thought I might as well come clean:

I'm not really a fat white guy from Florida who lives in Charlotte, NC, loves guns and knives, and has conservative, not to say racist, views. I'm actually a lesbian sexagenarian from Des Moines who's in a 12-step program after becoming a cat hoarder. At one time I had 137 cats in my house and let the litter problem get ahead of me until my neighbors called the police, at which point I was arrested. A day later The Drudge Report featured a link to a news story about me, titling it House of Filth: Lesbian Spinster Lives with hundreds of cats, feces.

Just wanted you to know. There will be some changes here at The Drawn Cutlass, which I intend to rename I Can Haz Kitteh? since I think that the court order preventing me from having a pet cat is unfair and violates my human rights.

Update: Looks like other bloggers/pundits are pulling the same scam.

Ok, I'm not a lesbian. Happy?

Monday, June 13, 2011

Gee, Thanks, Mama...

...for not giving me a slave name. I'm much happier with my retarded felon name, Dantonyo Andropulis Heath.

It's the Sesquicentennial...

...of the Medal of Honor.

Medals of Honor, L-R: Army; Navy/Marine Corps; Air Force.

Above and Beyond.


Want a free lighthouse?

Fowey Rocks Lighthouse.

*There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lighthouse.

The Crack Pack

One man was stabbed to death early Sunday after he got into a fight with another man at an East Independence Boulevard motel, Charlotte-Mecklenburg police said.

Witnesses said two men, Sammy Davis Best, 44, and Kareem Anthony Banks, 26, started to argue at the Charlotte Inn motel, 2701 E. Independence, and then began to fight as their struggle moved toward the road, said Officer Robert Fey, a CMPD spokesman. When police arrived just after 2 a.m., Best was lying with multiple stab wounds by the median that separates the road near Bojangles' Coliseum.

Just another Saturday night in downtown Charlotte.

She Went To Sea In a Sieve, She Did*

Not really, but she might as well have:

A woman from Harbor Island drifted on a raft for about five hours on Saturday before a boater rescued her more than four miles offshore in St. Helena Sound.

Skipper Paul Field of Fripp Island Sea Rescue said the woman was dehydrated and sunburned but required no serious medical attention.

She put her raft in the water at about 1 p.m. and was pulled by the tide far off shore before a boater found her and brought her close enough to shore for rescuers to take over, Field said.

*hope you folks are all fans of Edward Lear.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

The Lark Ascends... the top of a poll taken in UK of "favorite desert island discs."

Never heard The Lark Ascending by Rafe Vaughan Williams? Here you go:

I prefer his Variations On a Theme By Thomas Tallis, myself:

He Can Dish It Out...

...but he can't take it.

And did that report insinuate that Valerie Jarrett went to the Oval Office to give the President a little comforting (á la Lewinski?), or was I reading too much into it?

The President doesn't handle public criticism well, so it would behoove Republicans to do it more often, and forget MSM and DNC (but I repeat myself) charges of racism by doing so. Obama is effective when he's seen to be the cool cat who doesn't worry about things; if he's challenged publicly to the point of ridicule (Alinsky tactic) it can only be beneficial to Republicans.

h/t Piece Of Work In Progress.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Treasure Blog: 1930 Proof Australian Penny

Sold for $1.5 million.

I found this pic on Google Images, don't know if it is the exact penny, but it's probably similar:

It can still be worth it to look through your pocket change.

Friday, June 10, 2011

"Biggest Case of Cat Hoarding In the Nation"

697 of 'em. High Springs, Florida.

It's a High Crime Area... don't leave your laptop computer unattended in UK's House of Commons.

Does the UK have a SWAT team, I wonder?

Police Question 17-Year-Old Female In Weiner Scandal

Apparently the police arrived at the female's house during an interview that she and her mom were conducting with Fox News.

Wow, it's lucky that nobody called the SWAT team, somebody might have got killed.

"Miracle On the Hudson" Airplane Arrives In Charlotte

It's going to be a featured attraction at the Carolinas Aviation Museum.

Did You Know That...'s National Iced Tea Day?

Iced tea is something I've never developed a taste for. I've always been a soda drinker.

Alaska: National Park Service Apologizes For Rangers' Behavior

The head of the National Park Service in Alaska made a visit to a village in the interior to apologize for the actions of two of the agency's rangers.

The Fairbanks Daily News-Miner reported Friday that Sue Masica apologized for the aggressive actions of two rangers on the Yukon River last summer.

The apology was not connected to the highly-publicized arrest and trial of 71-year-old Jim Wilde. It was connected to a run-in the same two rangers had a month earlier with another man -- Tim Henry of Eagle.

The rangers handcuffed and detained Henry for about two hours for allegedly refusing to identify himself.

That's what happens when you don't have a SWAT team available to shoot the perpetrator for you.

She Was Walking Topless On the Streets of New York City...

...and it's a crime, so...


Click the link to see the bare titties. Much ado about nothing much, if you ask me.

A Beautiful Guitar

By Clark Hipolito.

Check this out:

Lovely, ain't it?

Go Have Some Fun...


The Overdose On Cuteness Post of the Day

Birds of a feather: The 10 lost and abandoned owls forming a family at St Tiggywinkles animal hospital.


All together now: AW, HOW CUTE!

Humorous Sketch Idea

I originally left this as a comment at Alan's place, but like it so much I'm reproducing it here:

Imagine it as Monty Python’s Spanish Inquisition sketch, with the SWAT team in place of the Inquisitors:

Woman: Edward, what are you doing? Is that a marijuana cigarette you’re smoking?

Man: Ah, honey, it’s just a joint. What are you going to do, call the SWAT team on me?

*Enter SWAT team, who shoot Edward 47 times*

SWAT Team Leader: No one expects the SWAT team when it’s just a joint! Or when you’re jaywalking! Or when you drink raw milk! Or when you use incandescent light bulbs instead of compact fluorscent lighting!

Woman: You killed Edward! He wasn’t violent!

SWAT Team Leader: He might have had a gun.

Woman: He’s never been violent a day in his life! He doesn’t even have a police record!

SWAT Team Leader: Can’t be too careful these days.

Woman: How dare you! You had no right!

SWAT Team Leader: Calm down, lady. If you get violent we’ll have to shoot you, too.

*enter Fluffie, a pet Pomeranian. Wagging his tail, Fluffie runs toward SWAT Team Leader, who shoots Fluffie*

Woman: You killed Fluffie! You bastards!

SWAT TEAM Leader: He was lunging at me.

*Woman jumps up to slap SWAT Team Leader, at which point the SWAT team opens fire, shooting her 47 times.*

News Reporter: Today we had a stand-off in which SWAT was called to respond. Pima County Sheriff Clarence Dupnik commended his officers for their brave actions against violent felons.

Sorry. Ran out of humor there at the end.

Supreme Court, 6-3: Call the SWAT Team!

Because fleeing in a car from a police stop is a violent felony.


I swear to Gawd, I remember reading Tom Kratman's book A State of Disobedience in which every US government agency had its own SWAT team and thinking at the time that the notion was a little over-the-top, but now I'm not so sure.

Bark At the Moon

A man blames his violent behavior on a scratch from a wolf.

Deputies said a friend of Stroup who was at the scene told them the suspect had consumed a large amount of alcohol and fought with other campers, who left before deputies arrived. Stroup was found sleeping under a trailer and growled at the deputies before being placed under arrest.

The deputies said Stroup apologized for his behavior while en route to the Lorain County Jail and told them he had consumed too much vodka and his violent behavior was the result of a wolf scratch that drives him to act violently during the full moon.


Or call Ozzy.