Saturday, July 31, 2010

So THAT'S Why He's Paid The Big Bucks

My duty is to save the world: Prince Charles believes he was born for a purpose.

There's a YouTube video of a character with very similar delusions of grandeur to the Prince (and similar features, when you think about it):

Slow Motion Bullet Strikes Into Inanimate Objects

Photos from the UK Daily Mail.

Here's one sample:

Click the link to see the others.

Hmm, I Worked There Years Ago

"Car Catches Fire In Underground Parking Deck."

In uptown Charlotte at the Omni Hotel. It was a Radisson when I worked there.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Joke of the Day

Based on this story about the man in the US with the longest tongue:

And now, the joke:

A man walks into a bar in the late evening, looking for a little female companionship. The only woman in the place is already cuddled up to an extremely ugly guy, giving him little kisses and rubbing his thigh. After a few minutes the two leave.

Turning to the bartender the man says, "Damn, how does an ugly guy like that get a gorgeous girl like her? He must be loaded or something."

The bartender replies, "Well, he always does well with the ladies, for some reason. He's not rich, only orders well drinks. Doesn't talk much either, doesn't seem to be any good at small talk. In fact, most of the evening he just sits in the corner, licking his eyebrows."


North Carolina Is Number One In The USA...

...for copperhead bites.

They aren't normally lethal to adults, but children, the elderly and especially pets are at risk from the bites.

In the 20 years I've been here I've only come across one in the wild, but I don't go hunting for them. I actually captured that one, which was crawling into a display enclosure at the Carolina Raptor Center. I also have a copperhead skin hatband on a cowboy hat I own, courtesy of a copperhead who tried to cross the road in front of our house and failed.

People often confuse other snakes for copperheads - - the blogger known as AD (Ambulance Driver) did it here - - but a few minutes' study can teach you to see the difference. Here in NC, this is what a copperhead looks like:

The harmless Corn Snake, which comes in several color variations, can look similar:

Another NC snake often confused with the copperhead is the Mole Kingsnake, although this snake is secretive and not often seen by humans (I actually saw a pair of male Mole Kingsnakes engaging in combat over a female):

Some water snakes can be confused with copperheads, although water snakes are far more often confused with cottonmouths.

Copperheads eat rodents, so if you don't engage in habits that attract rodents to your house, the copperheads won't follow. The #1 way to attract rodents to your house is to have bird feeders; the seeds that drop to the ground attract mice, a favorite food of copperheads (and other snakes).

Snakebites can be classified in two broad categories: legitimate bites come from the snake defending itself after being inadvertently stepped on or frightened by an otherwise oblivious human; illegitimate bites are those that come from humans who attempt to capture or kill a venomous snake and are bitten while doing so. Many of these cases come from religious snake handlers, as you might expect. I'd have a hard time condemning anyone for killing a venomous snake in their yard, but I'd not be happy with those who kill every venomous snake they come across while hiking or otherwise in the wilderness. Leave 'em alone; they live there, you don't.

If you're bitten, you need to get to the emergency room as soon as possible. You probably won't be given antivenin for a copperhead bite, as they aren't usually fatal. You'll need antibiotics, however, to lessen chance of infection that results from the bite, and anti-tetanus as a preventative measure, just as if you encountered a rusty nail. Don't cut the bite or use a tourniquet; those are old techniques that have long been discredited. Just get to the emergency room as quickly and safely as possible.

Musical Interlude

For those of you who have maybe never heard of him, here's William Elliott Whitmore:

New York Times Magazine Notices Appleseed...

...and isn't really happy about what it sees:

The exceptions to the rule of the responsible gun owner generate headlines and casualties. The largest threat that Appleseed poses is the possibility that some future gunmen will find their way from some dark-side message board to an Appleseed boot camp. “There’s always going to be someone who thinks the revolution is sooner rather than later,” Heidi Beirich of the Southern Poverty Law Center says. “Now they’re learning to be snipers. You would hope Appleseed would do some screening.”

When I asked Dailey about this, he said, “If we recruited 500 people from one of these crazy boards and 499 of them wound up agreeing with us, then what would you say?”

“I would want to know about the one who didn’t agree,” I said. “You’ve taught him how to kill with a rifle out to 500 yards.”

“Well, the only precaution for that is not to teach the skills at all. Why even let them have the hardware, in that case?” He proposed an analogy. “What if the inmates in the asylum were stabbing each other with knives? Do you give them plastic spoons? Or do you cure the insanity?”

“But part of what you’re doing is sharpening the knives.”

“If we can cure the insanity, I think it’s a fair trade.”

You get the feeling, however, that the writer of the article would rather the inmates be given plastic spoons.

There's a video that goes along with the article:

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Last of the Royal Navy Rum

For sale at $937 a bottle, includes a copper "rum tot" 1/2 gill cup.

A high price to pay for rotgut-quality rum intended for lower deck sailors.

Shipwreck Blog: HMS Investigator, 1853

HMS Investigator was one of the ships charged with the search for the Northwest Passage and the efforts to find traces of the earlier Franklin expedition.

HMS Investigator.

Abandoned in the ice, the ship now lies in approx. 36 feet of water, lying in an upright condition,and, as is common in cold climates, is in a good state of preservation. Nearby are the graves of three sailors who died of scurvy, a common ailment in Arctic travel.

The Trailer For THOR.

Found here.

Looks...pretty stupid, actually.

update: I see that the video has been removed. Sorry about that.

Headline of the Day

"Police: Patrol Car Damaged In Fight Between Cross-Dressing Prostitutes."

Fatty Fatty Two By Four...

...Gets called unpleasant things at the doctor's door.

The Age of Bluntness begins in UK.

John Callahan, 1951-2010: R.I.P.


He was a quadriplegic cartoonist whose work was often featured in alternative newspapers. Here's a sample of his work:

Well, that's death #2, Maury Chaykin being death #1. Since deaths of celebrities always come in 3's, who's next?

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Project, Much?

On page A-1 of today's Charlotte Observer:

City Shows Hunger For Convention.

That's the 2012 Democrat National Convention, in case you're wondering. Actually, that headline needs a little work:

City Liberal Rag Shows Hunger For Convention.

There, that's more accurate.

There's also a poll that reflects just how much the Observer is projecting its own desires regarding the convention:

And the comments from the local Republicans ain't enthusiastic. *laughs*

Treasure Blog: Ansel Adams Photographic Negatives, $200 Million

65 large-format glass plate negatives.


update: The authenticity of the photgraphic negatives is being disputed by the heirs of Ansel Adams.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Maury Chaykin, 1949-2010: R.I.P.

He died on his 61st birthday of kidney problems.

I thought that he was wonderful in A&E's series of Nero Wolfe mysteries.

Look For The Asterisk*

Free Republic has a list of 135 of the members of JournoList, Ezra Klein's private cabal of leftist journalists, bloggers, and academics.

It would be a good policy for all good conservatives/Republicans to bookmark this list and, when a news report comes out written by one of these JournoListers, mark the person's name with an asterisk and the following disclaimer:

* indicates membership in JournoList, and thus not to be trusted to be objective.

Let's make this a badge of shame, so that the JournoListers involved have to constantly justify themselves and prove their objectivity.

Monday, July 26, 2010

A Note In Passing

Got a walking stick in the mail today, but what was interesting was the strip of green bubble wrap that was used to pack it:

That is only about 1/3 of it hanging out of the box. Pulling it out of the box felt strangely as if I was disemboweling someone. But in a good way, you understand. No blood, bile, slime or stink involved. I may have to go do it again.

In fact, I may keep that stuff around for a while.

*evil laugh*

A Dog Bites God Story?


Well, if the priest had already performed the consecration...

Suffer The Little Children Doggies To Come Unto Me.

Well, It WAS South Carolina, After All

A teenager was shot at a rifle range when he walked downrange while shooting was still going on.

Full details aren't available, but it's hard to imagine a scenario in which you walk out to the targets while a range is hot. It was neglect of range rules one someone's part, anyway.

I swanny, I feel the collective IQ drop ten points every time I cross into South Carolina. Sara and I often drive there on weekends because we know we'll see something so gut-bustingly funny that entertainment is guaranteed.

Concealed Gun Permit Owner Stops Criminal Rampage

See what happens when you trust a law-abiding citizen with a gun? He goes and shoots a criminal with it!

GREENVILLE, S.C. Authorities say a 28-year-old South Carolina man has been shot by a neighbor after a rampage that included the stabbing death of his girlfriend.

Greenville County sheriff's deputies say Zacharia Pearson took a large knife from the kitchen after he got into a fight with his 24-year-old girlfriend early Monday at a home in Piedmont and stabbed her until the knife broke. Her name has not been released.

Authorities say a neighbor came out to see what was happening and Pearson charged him with a pipe.

Deputies say the man shot Pearson twice with a concealed weapon he had a permit to carry.

Pearson is still alive as of this writing, unfortunately. Kudos to the gun owner.

We Got Yer Epic Fail, Here

Police: Man robs bank in clown pants, fake breasts.

SWISSVALE, Pa. Authorities say a Pittsburgh-area man robbed a bank wearing a woman's blond wig, fake breasts under a sweater and clown pants.

Swissvale police say 48-year-old Dennis Hawkins of North Braddock was sitting in a parked car covered in red dye from an exploding packet in a bag of money when he was arrested Saturday.

Police Chief Greg Geppert says Hawkins robbed the bank at gunpoint, using a toy BB gun he had shoplifted from a store.

OK, so he was in drag with blond wig and fake breasts? So he looked like Dolly Parton robbing the bank with a BB gun?

And to top it off, the teller slipped a dye pack into the money bag, so it went off while he was in his getaway car, so he's there looking like Dolly Parton covered in blood when the po-po's arrive to haul his carcass off to the pokey?

How did the cops manage that without dying of terminal laughing fits?

update: I was watching the local news tonight and saw a report on this crime, during which they showed closed-circuit footage of the criminal. He's black with a closely-trimmed beard, so you have a bearded black guy in drag with a blond wig and fake tits, and, after the dye pack exploded, seemingly covered in blood from the dye.

I Think I'd Be Quick To Notice It (And I Was)

Wall Street Journal columnist John Fund was on Face the Nation on Sunday and got his facts wrong:

Fund said there was a pattern of "consistent politicization" in the Justice Department, listing examples of Voting Rights Act decisions in the South.

"North Carolina is predominantly African-American," Fund said, "and voted to have non-partisan elections. The Justice Department said you can't do that. You have to continue to give black voters the cue of Democrat versus Republican so they'll know who to vote for.

Aside from being a rather racist statement per se in that it presumes blacks are too stupid to know who to vote for without party labels, Fund also gets the demographic makeup of North Carolina waaaaaaay wrong. Wikipedia cites US Census Data showing that North Carolina's demographic mix is around 74% white and 22% black, with the rest of the minorities making up the remaining 4%.

So, next step is to see if Fund has an email box at the post for a correction.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Not To Put Too Fine A Point On It...

...but the known members of JournoList seem to be lacking in melanin.

Maybe someone should notify the NAACP. Not that I'm making any accusations, here...

h/t Instapundit.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Hey, I Served On One Of Those Ships

The US Navy is going to inactivate 11 ships.

Among them is the amphibious assault ship USS Nassau (LHA-4), which I served aboard during the early 1980's.

Here she is:

I had a lot of fun aboard that ship. Good food (breakfast cinnamon rolls were outstanding) and comfortable berthing areas, and large enough to provide plenty of amenities. I've seen her all the ways you can see her: crossdecking from another ship via an LCM into her well deck; helicoptering off to another ship; leaving her via an LCM which landed us on the beach at Little Creek Amphibious Base, the closest I'll ever get to an amphibious landing of my own; and, of course, walking onto her via the brow at the pier at Norfolk Naval Base. I was onboard her in 1983 off the coast of Lebanon when the USMC barracks bombing occurred, cross-decking to the USS Guam (LPH-9). I've heard that because of that bombing that I'm eligible to wear the National Defense Ribbon, but I've never investigated the possibility of acquiring one, and it's sort of a geedunk ribbon, anyway.

The Nassau will go into the reserve fleet, while others of the 11 ships involved in the inactivation will be sold to other navies, held in reserve, or possibly scrapped.

It Took Me A Few Seconds To Figure It Out

A story on "quick-casual" hamburger restaurants, also sometimes called "better burger" restaurants. Five Guys is the most famous of these.

Yet there is another chain mentioned in the article whose name didn't leap out at me, at least at first, then finally I got it:

Hugh Jass Burgers. Say it out loud. It's one of those names that is clever but naughty, and doesn't really account for children in society or, rather, expects that the mild profanity involved is worth the offense it causes.

Here's the logo for Hugh Jass Burgers:

Maybe they should try and get Kim Kardashian as their celebrity spokesman?

Hey, Let's Throw A Stick At The Bison!

What could go wrong?

Well, this:

Meanwhile, Up In Massachusetts...

...Thurston Howell III Senator John Kerry moors his fabulous new yacht in Newport, Rhode Island, to avoid paying Massachusetts sales and use taxes.

Actually, does it even qualify as a news story for a rich liberal to dodge the taxes that they impose on others?

h/t Hot Air Headlines.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Ve Haff Vays Of Making You Diet, Ja?

The Germans want to tax people for being fat.

Great Limerick I Hadn't Heard Before

And it goes:

“There was an old bastard named Lenin

Who did two or three million men in

That’s a lot to have done in

But where he did one in

That old bastard Stalin did ten in.”

found here.

I Hope He Enjoyed His Last Birthday Celebration...

...because he won't be seeing another.

His last words were probably Hey, y'all, watch this, I'm goan slap that there train! Hee hee!

h/t Sara.

Where I Grew Up

Melrose, Florida.

We lived in a house on beautiful Lake Santa Fe, a spring-fed lake and the source of the Santa Fe River. Indians lived by the lake long ago, and you could find their stone tools, arrow and spear points, after a rain storm. The lake was home to largemouth bass, bluegill, shellcracker, and black crappie, which locals called "speckled perch." The lake water was tea-colored from the bald cypress trees. Fishing, sailing and water skiing were all popular sports on the lake. The lake was linked via canals to other small lakes, such as Black Lake, Bonnet Pond, and Lake Alto. Melrose itself only had one traffic light, and that one was a blinking one, at the junction of SR 26 and SR 21.

Altogether idyllic, now that I think about it.

Not Yer Highly Skilled Navigation At Sea

A noob sailor in UK set sail from Gillingham with the intent of voyaging to Southampton, but ended up circling the Isle of Sheppey instead due to his primitive "keep the land on your right" piloting technique.

View Larger Map

It looked something like this, probably:

Over At Monster Hunter Nation...

...we find out that Larry Correia will be collaborating with John Ringo on a series of novels.

Pretty cool news, if you ask me.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Meanwhile, At Fort Benning, Georgia... have a very good chance of being struck by lightning.

Strange fact of the day: 7% of US lightning victims are members of the military.

Things Are Tough All Over

Two criminals escaped from an Argentinian prison after budget cuts forced prison officials to place dummy guards in most of the prison watch towers.

The Guards Don't Move Much Anymore, Do They?

No, But a B**** Nonetheless

In Madison, Wisconsin, a black woman running for state assembly wants to be listed on the ballot as Ieshuh Griffin, Not The Whiteman's Bitch.

So far she hasn't been given permission to do this. She's appealing the ruling, naturally. Ieshuh won't let the whiteman hold her down.

Ah, Yes, the Infamous "Brown Talon" Ammo

Over in Reidsville, North Carolina, a man shot his wife with a black powder handgun loaded with toilet paper.

Holy Crap...

...I agree with Barney Frank:

“I do not think we should be spending money to have troops in Germany 65 years after World War II. We have a terrible deficit and we have to cut back,” said Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass, who is spearheading a House effort to cut defense spending. “NATO was a wonderful concept. But 61 years later, I think it’s time to say our western European allies should be on their own. We’ll cooperate with them, but we shouldn’t be subsidizing their defense.”

I have different reasons than Barney, though, probably. I'd pull out the troops because I'm an isolationist, a philosophy which I doubt Barney shares.

32 Years Later And 8 Miles Down the Coast...

...a Message In A Bottle washes ashore in Suffolk, UK, and is returned to the boy (now a man) who threw it into the sea.

It took its time and wasn't interested in a long journey, was it? It was a small glass bottle, which causes more drag in the water and a slower journey; these days, if you use a lightweight plastic bottle you can have better results.

update: fixed a grammatical error. Thanks to Wally for pointing it out.

Charlotte Islamofascist Now Al-Qaeda Magazine Editor

My, isn't Samir Khan all growed up and getting on in the world?

I remember reading about this little shit a few years ago over at the Jawa Report, and I daydreamed a few times of how difficult it might be to drive over some evening with a rifle and shoot the s.o.b. as he went outside to retrieve the mail at his parents' house, where he was living.

The funny thing is that the little weasel never did anything overt enough to warrant his arrest here in the US, so DHS and the FBI, although they knew of him and presumably monitored him, took no action on the grounds that even a loathsome little reptile like Khan was covered by the Bill of Rights. Now he's in Yemen, editing Al-Qaeda's online magazine Inspire, designed as a recruitment tool. The little shit probably learned how to make a glossy product while up at Central Piedmont Community College.

Here's a pic of the little shit:

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Poppies Will Put Them To Sleep...

The UK Daily Mail has a nice photo article featuring opium poppies in Dorsetshire.

I'd include a YouTube of the Wicked Witch of the West reciting the line I used in the post title, but Wizard of Oz videos all seem to be blocked from embedding.

I-580 Shootings: Update

Update of this post.

I've only started to review news stories on this, but I've already noticed this fucking idiot going off half-cocked and blaming the Tea Party movement without any evidence whatsoever of a Tea Party link; in a more reasoned discussion, we have this story that seeks to differentiate between the various types of domestic political terrorism in the US; this story fails a bit when the writer claims that there is no liberal equivalent to conservative talk radio (Air America, anyone?) but otherwise offers good analysis. I'll get to some other news links on this story a bit later, I have to run some errands this morning after I leave work.

Update: most of the straight-news stories are sticking to the facts at this point and not engaging in speculation. The blogs are less restrained, with Daily Kos blaming Fox News for the shootings; this blog at AlterNet asks "I wonder what network he watched." A more humorous angle is taken by this blog, which uses Lindsay Lohan's troubles to try to draw attention to the I-580 shootings, hinting that Lohan's troubles are acting as a distraction to reporting more serious stories.

I'm fascinated by the role that the shooter's mother has played in this. According to the news stories, the guns that Williams used in the shootout belonged to his mother, and that she purchased them with the intent to have them ready for a revolution. Perhaps, then, the apple didn't fall that far from the tree, and his anti-government/anti-leftist stance was under his mother's influence. She probably needs to stop talking and consult a lawyer herself at this point.

The Workings of the Journolist Cabal, Revealed

How a group of so-called "objective" journalists worked behind the scenes to minimize damage to Barack Obama's candidacy during the 2008 Presidential election.

Names are named, and their own words from Journolist emails are revealed; not only do they work within the confines of their own newsrooms, but they reach out to each other across the internet to coordinate their actions to deceive the American people and further their own leftist agenda.

A fifth column.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Andrew Breitbart Takes A Head

So the NAACP wants to play racism games, eh? Two can play, as they say, and in Andrew Breitbart, we finally have someone on the Right who is not only willing, but able to play with the same streetfight rules that the Left typically employs in political warfare.

My worry is that Breitbart will crash and burn in some spectacular fashion, a victim of his own hubris, and we'll be left without anyone willing to get into the trenches with the Lefties and fight the war up close and personal.

update: Looks like Breitbart was playing fast and loose with his editing. Not good.

Burnin' Down the Drones

With the US Navy ship-borne laser weapon.

Maybe I'll live to have my own Star Trek-style phaser after all.

update: the video is set to autoplay, so I disembedded it. Click the link to see it. H/T to Borepatch for pointing this out.

Is the Cold Civil War Turning Hot?

"I-580 shootout suspect mad at left-wing politics."

If the guy turns out to be a Tea Party participant then the MSM will finally have the violent example that they've been craving, and there will be an orgy of hysterical headlines, all variations on the I told you so! theme.

It will be interesting to see what the fellow intended to do, having armed himself and armored himself. I have to guess that he just snapped and had no organized plan, and the Oakland cops happened to present themselves as the first targets of opportunity. Someone who was deadly serious about provoking an ideological civil war would probably go about it in a more organized and cold-blooded manner; Timothy McVeigh immediately comes to mind.

So let's see where this story goes. It may disappear quickly off the map, or may become a seven days' wonder, depending on the motives and associations of the shooter.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Hiking In Florida In Mid-July: What Could Go Wrong?

Heat exhaustion, for one thing.

And it's a big thing. You really need to carry a lot of water in that combination of heat and humidity.

I Write Like...Vladimir Nabokov?

There is a new website called "I Write Like" that, given a few sample paragraphs of your writing style, tells you which famous author your writing most resembles. So I submitted the following excerpt from a recent BBQ restaurant review:

Sara regretted ordering fried squash, as it turned out to be frozen rather than fresh. The hush puppies were hand formed and edible, which is better than we have found in many barbecue restaurants. They weren't the best hush puppies we have eaten, though. The pork barbecue meat was sliced as we both requested; not much of a smoke ring in evidence, and not much smoke flavor, either. Still, it was properly tender, if a bit dry (order your barbecue chopped if you want to be able to properly moisten it with sauce). Porky's had two barbecue sauces on hand, a vinegar-based Eastern NC sauce (Sara pronounced it mostly vinegar and otherwise flavorless) and a dark brown tomato-based sauce that probably came from a commercial gallon jug, not much tang and a little too sweet.

Sara had thought about ordering banana pudding for dessert, but after she observed the waitresses manufacturing it behind the lunch counter using a 1-gallon can of commercial pudding glop and commenting loudly enough for Sara to hear about how many bananas to put into it, she decided to skip on the banana pudding. We skipped on the desserts, as a matter of fact.

Service at Porky's was quick and efficient, with our waitress only making one mistake when she poured iced tea into my Diet Coke. She caught herself and brought me a new one, so it was all right in the end.

After lunch we drove home via Albemarle, North Carolina, and stopped in at the Sonic Drive-In there, and ordered milk shakes for our delayed dessert. The waitress roller-skated our order out to us. If you're an American Idol fan, this particular Sonic is the drive-in that Kelly Pickler worked in during high school.

And received the following result:

I write like
Vladimir Nabokov

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Although I swear I haven't been ogling the teenaged BBQ waitresses...

I have to guess that this will become something of a meme among my blogging friends in the next day or so.

You Should Give Him A Medal, Instead, You Bastards

Meanwhile, in Afghanistan, a Gurkha is in trouble for beheading a Taliban commander in battle with his kukri knife.

The circumstances are that the Taliban in question was a high-value target and had to be positively identified in order for the Gurkhas to be given credit for killing him. Unfortunately the Gurkhas came under fire while trying to transport the Taliban's body, so an enterprising Gurkha soldier, realizing that positive identification could be made from facial features (and DNA), and that he had a great big razor-sharp knife available to him, beheaded the Taliban and transported the much lighter head to the rear.

And, as you might expect in these more politically correct times, that's a Bad Thing. Never mind that that's exactly what the Taliban do to captured NATO soldiers; never mind that this is war, and war is hell; the only thing that matters is that beheading a Taliban is wrong, because it's offensive to the Taliban.

It's crap like this that makes you yearn for the Ripley solution:

Restaurant Review: 521 BBQ & Grill, Indian Land, SC

We heard about 521 BBQ & Grill from my sister Karen, who mentioned that friends had eaten there and liked the food, so on Saturday morning we headed down US 521 (hence the name) to Indian Land, so named because the Catawba tribe lives in the area.

Sara and I had passed by this restaurant while travelling on several occasions without noting its presence because of poor signage:

You can see that, although there is plenty of room above that awning to affix a large, prominent sign, all that the owners currently have is a mini-sign in dark colors that make it hard to read what is advertised; further signage is painted on the window, but as you can see, when there are cars parked in front of the restaurant, the signage on the window is hard to see, too.

There was a good bit of business in the restaurant when we entered for lunch. A medical facility is just down the road, as is a local fire department and police department; three cops were eating at the time we entered.

The waitress took our drinks and left us to check out the menu. I ordered a BBQ tray:

Sara had the BBQ plate, which has more side items:

In addition, I had some fried mozzarella sticks. The BBQ was a good mix of outside brown and inside white meat, a little dry; portions were a bit stingy compared to other BBQ places we've eaten at. Three sauces were available: vinegar-based eastern NC sauce; sweet brown tomato-based sauce typical of Memphis (Sara said it tasted like Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce) and yellow mustard-based SC-style sauce, this latter tasting much like Maurice's BBQ sauce. Hush puppies were hand-formed and edible, otherwise unremarkable. French fries were the typical BBQ joint crinkle cuts; a large pile of these in the tray, to fill it out; without them, the tray would have looked rather empty with just the BBQ and pups.

The waitress was efficient and kept our drinks topped up. I noted that the staff was entirely female, as a matter of fact; waitresses, cashier and cooks, all.

The food was average pork BBQ, pretty much what you find throughout North and South Carolina. I'll give 521 BBQ & Grill a 3 on my 5-scale of BBQ restaurants: 3 out of 5: average; reasonably good food, moderate effort by staff/management. We'll eat there again if we happen to be in the area and craving BBQ, but have no reason to make a special trip for it. They're hurting their potential business by not improving their signage, would get more customers if people could identify this storefront as a BBQ restaurant when passing by on the highway.

Friday, July 16, 2010

For You Science-Oriented Types... with the Periodic Table of Elemental British Swearing.

h/t Amy Alkon.

Yer EVOO Ain't Very V

Or, to put it in terms that a normal human being rather than a Food Network groupie can understand, your imported extra-virgin olive oil probably doesn't meet the standards required for an olive oil to be labeled "extra virgin."

These Food Network groupies are as much into virgins as your typical suicide bomber. Me? I'm like Jeff Dunham's pal Walter; if I was a suicide bomber, I wouldn't want 72 virgins when I died, I'd want 72 slutty broads who know what the hell they're doing!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Faced With Government Inefficiency and Incompetence...

...some people rather than grumble and complain will turn to and fix the problems themselves.

A heartwarming tale of an ex-soldier who, confronted by his local government's inability to fix minor problems such as broken park benches, fixed them himself.

Best Trick You'll Learn Today

How to open a bottle of wine if you don't have a corkscrew but do have a shoe.

Video included. I haven't tried it, but sometime in the near future I will.

A Red-Fleshed Apple?

Looks like it.

Introducing the Redlove apple, which isn't in stores yet and won't be for a few years:

Handsome, ain't it? I'd be willing to try them, I like trying new apple varieties. The problem with this one is that it will be tempting to the apple growers to mess with it to maximize color at the expense of taste, as happened to the Red Delicious.

And Instead of Toilet Paper, Use Your Left Hand

In Rochdale, UK, they are putting squat toilets in the restrooms in an effort to be more multicutural.

Coming Soon To A Restroom Near You

Are You A Racist? Take the NAACP Racism Quiz!

Probably a lot of you are worried that you might have tendencies toward racism, what with the NAACP declaring that the Tea Party is racist.

Well, I somehow managed to acquire the official NAACP racism quiz that I thought I would share with you, so that you can set your mind at ease:

1. What race is you? (check one) ___ black ___ white

(if you checked white, you is racist.)

2. What is yo favorite color? ___ black ___ yellow ___ brown ___ red ___ white

(if you checked white, you is racist.)

3. When you eat turkey at Christmas, you ask for: ___ dark meat ___ white meat

(if you answered white meat, you is racist.)

4. Have you ever seen the Walt Disney movie "Song of the South?" ___ yes ___ no

(if you answered yes, you is racist.)

5. Have you ever used the word niggardly in a sentence? ___ yes ___ no

(if you answered yes, you is racist.)

6. Was O.J. Simpson guilty of murdering his wife? ___ yes ___ no

(if you answered yes, you is racist.)

7. Did you vote for Barack Obama for President? ___ yes ___ no

(if you answered no, you is racist.)

8. Do you have any African-American friends? ___ yes ___ no

(if you answered no, you is racist.)

9. Does the term Black Hole describe a collapsed star? ___yes ___ say what?

(if you answered yes, you is racist.)

10. The word cracker describes: ___ a white person ___ a type of snack

(if you answered a type of snack, you is racist.)

SCORING: If you answered any of these questions in a way that resulted in you being described as a racist, then you is a racist. Once a racist, always a racist. Cracker muthafucka!

Here's yo badge:

Living the Dream

When I wrote this post talking about the Coast Guard selling surplus lighthouses to the public, little did I know that there was one for sale right off the North Carolina coast, just south of my favorite NC beach town, Southport:

Richard Neal speaks with unbridled enthusiasm when he talks about restoring the Frying Pan Shoals Light Tower.

The Charlotte man was the successful bidder in a sealed bid sale May 13 for the well-known nautical landmark about 25 miles southeast of Southport.

In fact, a federal General Services Administration spokesman said Neal was the only bidder for the modified 80-foot steel oil drilling platform, which was used by the Coast Guard as an aid to navigation from 1966 until about eight years ago. GPS and buoys rendered the tower obsolete, and the Coast Guard turned the nautical landmark over to the GSA to be sold.

Neal bought the tower for $85,000, which is a bargain, in my opinion. He'll have to spend up to $1.3 million for repairs before it is ready for regular human use. He envisions it as a high-end base for fishermen or divers, or maybe a bed-and-breakfast.

Here's a pic:

He had a dream, and now it might become reality. Good for him.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Sounds Like A Glock Was Involved

In Alaska, a firefighter who was cleaning a gun after a morning at the shooting range accidentally shot a co-worker, killing him.

Police say 27-year-old Elliott Taylor and a friend had just returned from shooting and were cleaning their weapons Tuesday evening when the friend's gun fired through his hand and hit Taylor in the lower abdomen.

Sounds like a Glock was the gun involved, since field-stripping involves pulling the trigger on it. Guy probably had the take-down lever in his left hand and pulled the trigger with his right as part of field-stripping, and there was still a round in the chamber. Violation of rules 1, 2, and 4 of Jeff Cooper's gun safety rules.

They Made Porky Squeal

Two off-duty employees of Six Flags Great America in Illinois attacked a female employee who was wearing a Porky Pig outfit at the time.

Hard to figure out how to treat this one. If they'd raped her, then Porky gets porked suggests itself; and I can always drag out the ol' "squeal like a pig" clip from Deliverance.

Oh, well. I'll consider this one a failed blog post.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

A Home On the Island of Muck

Not as bad as it sounds, actually.

It's a small island off the west coast of Scotland, owned by the McEwan family. The McEwans are looking for a UK family with children to live there year-round. It's remote, with few amenities and even electricity is hard to come by.

Here's a pic:

The island is so free of crime that, not only do they not lock their doors, some of the doors don't even have locks.

And if you're a poet, think of all the words that rhyme with muck.

Nice Dr. Seuss Parody

via The Old Jarhead.

I do not like this Uncle Sam,
I do not like his health care scam.
I do not like these dirty crooks,
or how they lie and cook the books.
I do not like when Congress steals,
I do not like their secret deals.
I do not like this speaker Nan,
I do not like this 'YES WE CAN'.
I do not like this spending spree,
I'm smart, I know that nothing's free,
I do not like your smug replies,
when I complain about your lies.
I do not like this kind of hope.
I do not like it. nope, nope, nope!

Pass it on.

Don't Get Bit By A Coral Snake

The stocks of antivenin are running out, and no one is manufacturing it here in the US anymore.

h/t Amy Alkon.

He Was Trying To Kill the Monster Under the Bed?

A 7-year-old boy in Illinois found his father's gun and fired it into his bed mattress.

*wonders out loud* I wonder if Larry Correia has ever thought about Monsters Under the Bed for his Monster Hunter International books? Hmm.

Imagine That

Three hikers have become lost in Arizona while searching for the Lost Dutchman Gold Mine.

And one of the idiots is a repeater, he got lost last year doing the same thing.

Meanwhile, In London...

...where sewer workers were working desperately to clear the walls of fat from the sewers under Leicester Square before the horrible stuff could come to life and destroy the city...

Taliban Monkey Soldiers?

The Stars and Stripes newspaper is reporting it as a rumor that surfaced in a Chinese newspaper.

Here's the pic that accompanies the article:

To hell with the Zombie Apocalypse; we need to prepare for the Monkey Apocalypse!

Wonder If the Liberal Students and Faculty Will Let Him Speak?

Former White House advisor Karl Rove will speak at the University of California-Irvine in October.

And, of course, he'll have to be accompanied by security, since liberals can't be trusted to let a conservative give a speech without interrupting or even physically attacking him/her.

But don't you dare call them violent or angry or narrow-minded.

Oh, THERE It Is!

The secret entrance to the underground church vault, that is.

As a kid I loved stories of secret rooms, secret passages, caves, tombs, catacombs, etc. Poe's The Cask of Amontillado was a favorite, along with the scene from the old TV show Dark Shadows where the vampire Barnabas Collins entombs the Reverend Trask into a wall niche alive.

How about the rest of you? Do you wish you had some secret rooms/passages in your own home, or your dream home?

Someone Finally Fired George Steinbrenner

The owner of the New York Yankees is dead.

His Yankees won a lot of World Series during his ownership, you have to grant him that. Having said that, he probably drove Billy Martin into an early grave, and that's hard to forgive. Maybe they'll work it out in the afterlife, now that Steinbrenner has passed on.

Oh, The Monkey Wrapped His Tail Around the... pole...

Hey, Y'all, Watch This!

An Australian man was bitten while trying to sit on a zoo crocodile named Fatso.

Yes, of course he was drunk. It shouldn't even be necessary to ask.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Lighthouses For Sale!

The Coast Guard doesn't need them anymore, so here's your chance.

One of my daydreams/hermit fantasies is to live in one of the Chesapeake Bay screwpile lighthouses like this one:

I'd have a nice rifle and some handguns along with me, and I'd shoot at plastic bottles floating by. I'd sit on the outer deck in a rocking chair with the rifle across my knees: creeeak...creeeak...creeeeak...creeeak...BANG! I'd fish, and crab, and holler at trespassers...

We Always Suspected That

In San Diego, California, a Hispanic convenience store clerk foiled a robbery by pretending to not speak English. The robber fled in frustration.

See, we always suspected that Hispanics speak more English than they're willing to let on, and feign ignorance to get out of traffic tickets and other unpleasant situations that they encounter in their lives.

Lede Sentence of the Day

"The next time you see a raccoon pictured with a park ranger's hat, imagine it instead with the robe and scythe of the grim reaper."

Whoa! That got my attention! Let's read on:

Bellingham resident Jon Shaughnessy learned about the downside of raccoons soon after he found some of their potentially deadly droppings beneath his porch.

"I said, 'Whoa, this is serious stuff,'" he said. "People die from it."

He's right. Read on, but the story isn't pretty.


Many raccoons have roundworms called Baylisascaris in their intestines. The roundworms produce millions of eggs, which are passed on in the raccoon's feces. Those hardy eggs can take hold inside people and can cause fatal brain infections.

It's been out there all this time, and I never knew!


Many raccoons have roundworms called Baylisascaris in their intestines. The roundworms produce millions of eggs, which are passed on in the raccoon's feces. Those hardy eggs can take hold inside people and can cause fatal brain infections.


Infected raccoons have been found throughout the country. The critters often defecate in woodpiles; beneath porches; by and on trees; on decks, roofs and garages; and on flat surfaces, such as logs, stumps and large rocks.

When researchers inspected the backyards of 119 suburban Chicago homes, they found raccoon latrines in 61 of them. Fourteen of the latrines had roundworm eggs.

Raccoon feces, by the way, are generally dark, tubular and blunt in shape, strong-smelling, and often full of seeds and other food debris.


People who ingest the eggs risk illness and death. Once inside your intestines, the eggs hatch into larvae, which can travel to the brain, liver, spinal cord and other parts of your body.

Victims often are children who have put infected dirt, objects or water in their mouth.

Okay, so you have to eat it. I don't know anyone who eats raccoon shit. Wait a minute - - "infected dirt, objects or water in their mouth." Damn, that means you can get it just from drinking water in the wild. Yet another reason to never go camping!

Gah. Even the Boy Scouts never warned us about raccoon shit. Maybe they need to add that to their manual, give out a Merit Badge for identifying and cleaning up raccoon shit safely.


The 2010 Dress Conversation

Wife, posing in front of mirror, looking back over her shoulder: Does this dress make my butt look big?

Husband, trained by years of experience to give the proper response: Of course not. It's the smallest I've seen it, as a matter of fact.

Wife, in tones of hurt and outrage: You bastard!

Husband: What? What'd I say?

Pertinent story here.

This Year It's Ass-Backward.

Losers Can Take Their Inflatable Dates...

...for a drink at the inflatable English pub.

Prices start as low as £4275, or just over $6400.

I'd Investigate the Accuser, Too; Just Sayin'

A noose was found by a black firefighter at a Denver, Colorado, training center.

Given that there is a history of false noose allegations by blacks, if I were investigating this case I'd open two lines of inquiry, one presuming that the black firefighter is telling the truth, the other presuming that the black firefighter is a goddamned lying son of a bitch is not telling the truth.

update: This article indicates that the incident was probably a stupid prank meant as a joke, so my condemnation of the black firefighter in this case was unjust.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

The Forever Safe Forever Home

via Al Fin: A Home that Can Last A Thousand Years

Imagine owning a home that is by and large maintenance free, could potentially endure for a milennium, and will keep you safe from hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes and even wildfires. Would you be interested in owning one?

I would, for damned sure. Here's an example one of these homes; click the link to see a video showing others.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

They're Expecting Company

An interesting news article, written from the second person viewpoint, on what to expect if you are arrested in New Hanover County, North Carolina, and have to spend the weekend in jail there.

You Screwed Up.

Commentary On Last Night's Supper

You know, Domino's Pizza really has gone to the next level in their food products. They apparently aren't willing to coast along in third place in the pizza delivery business anymore, letting Papa John's and Pizza Hut have all the glory and profit.

If you haven't tried one of Domino's Bread Bowl Pasta meals, you're missing something special. And the Lava Crunch Cakes are good enough that many dine-in restaurants would be proud to serve them. Give them a try. The pizzas are much improved, too. I'm not overly fond of the sandwiches yet, those still need work.

Friday, July 09, 2010

Treasure Blog: Churchill's Dentures

To be sold at auction.

We Shall Never Surrender Our Teefs.

Treasure Blog? WWII Bombs

Sometimes you find treasure.

Other times, you find things that can very easily kill you.

A treasure hunter with a metal detector uncovered WWII bombs buried on a beach, and quite capable of exploding all these years later.

Heed The Warning.

Luckily the treasure hunter heeded the warning notice that was buried with the bombs. He called the authorities, who detonated the bombs where they were found, as they were too unstable to risk moving.

Old Dogs Learn New Tricks

Or more accurately, Spanish olive growers develop a new way to grow and harvest olives that reduces cost drastically while increasing production.

Win-win for everyone.

Mexican Schools Teach Duck & Cover Drills

Not from fear of an atom bomb, as US schoolkids did during the Cold War, but because of gunfire from drug cartels.

Ok, Simmer Down, We'll Hang Her Instead...

...or maybe behead her. Don't get your panties in a wad, infidels.

The Iranians decide not to stone Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani to death for adultery.


Osama bin Laden's son is hearing daddy's voice in his head.

I doubt that daddy is telling him to convert to Christianity.

Meanwhile, In Jefferson, Wisconsin...

... the winner of the annual cricket-spitting contest spit a dead cricket twenty-one feet two inches for the win.

Mike Morateck, 46, of Palmyra, took the top prize in the 15-and-up age bracket during Wednesday's contest at the Jefferson County Fair, using his knowledge as a "man of science" to spit the cricket, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported Thursday.

"Pick a big cricket -- the heavier the cricket, the further it goes," Morateck said. "Put the cricket in your mouth, feet first on its back with the head pointing out because you don't want the legs dragging on the way out. Then take a big breath through the nose -- otherwise you eat the cricket -- and let it fly."


Judge: It's OK To Deep Throat Dildoes In Front of Chirrens

Actually, the judge ruled that simulated sex is not really sex, which sort of suggests that the judge was appointed by Bill "depends on what the meaning of 'is' is" Clinton.

I wouldn't normally use such a coarse title for a blog entry, but hey! If it's ok to deep throat a dildo in front of the little chirrens, then it's certainly ok to write about it, right?

Meanwhile, Just Down the Road... Waxhaw, North Carolina, a freight train derailed.

Waxhaw is a picturesque little one-traffic-light town, noted for its antique shops, although there are fewer of those than formerly. The rail line runs just north of the traffic signal.

When Mama Grizzlies Attack

No, not a folksy tale concerning Sarah Palin, but instead a story of a literal Mama Grizzly Bear defending her cubs against mountain bikers and their pet dog.

Mama Grizz got in some swipes and chomps, but was driven off by bear pepper spray, so the cubs still have a mother, apparently.

Jesus H. Christ In a Lifeguard Flag!

His latest appearance:

He's everywhere!

Br'er Bear Caught Br'er Rabbit...

...and chomped him with his pointy teefs.

And that was the end of Br'er Rabbit.

He'd Be Pretty Well Cooked, Wouldn't he?

After four days dead in a hot tub, that is? Be kind of like being cooked in a slow cooker?

Not that I'm hungry or anything...

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Full Contact Extreme Jousting?


Sounds like a natural for television.

Navy Blimp To Join Oil Cleanup Efforts

Not in actual cleanup, of course, but in observation/spotting duties and directing ships to oil patches that can be burned, skimmed or cleaned.

And, in the learn something new every day category, this is the first time I've known that the Navy was operating airships again.

Treasure Blog: Roman Coin Hoard, Somerset, UK

The largest Roman coin hoard ever found in UK, discovered buried in a clay pot.

Over 52,000 coins in the pot, which would weigh an approximate 400 pounds.

I hope that the finder snuck a few of the coins into his pocket, because in UK, as in many EU countries, all hoards belong to the national government involved, not the finder.

update: damn, I spelled it horde instead of hoard. Why did you people let me do that?

Jimmy Buffett Finally Has Enough Money... he can afford to throw his Republican and conservative fans off the side of the ship.

It's not as if we didn't know that Jimmy was a dirty hippie at heart anyway, but for most of his career he followed the first rule of entertainment: maximize your audience. Apparently the Buffett bank balance is so high now that he has decided that some money is not welcome.

That's ok. My own theory is that he has been one of the Pod People for some time now, with Property of Margaritaville, Inc., stenciled on his left butt cheek. His cloning happened around the time of Floridays, which was one of his last good albums. The clone Buffett was programmed without facial hair, so you know that the "Jimmy Buffett" you see on stage these days, lacking a mustache, is the clone. Apparently the clone is reaching the end of its useful life and, instead of shilling for money regardless of the source, only shills for leftist money.

Sad, when you think about it.

Go Over To Brigid's...

...and read her hilarious Dating Guide For The Clueless.

One excerpt to tease you:

Take her to Cabelas to fondle 1911's. (She may want to go home and fondle yours).


Tuesday, July 06, 2010

A Nice Pair...

...of tattoos:

Samantha Osborn & Her Tits Tats.

A tragic tale of tattoos, theme parks and offending the little chirrens.

It Sounds Much Worse Than It Is

"Moodie was being held at the Alachua County jail on Monday on a charge of throwing a missile into a vehicle."

A tragic tale of poverty, anger, cars, refuse receptacles and parenting, in a neighborhood not far from where my maternal grandfather used to live.

Headline of the Day

GPD: Her Smile Was A Turnoff; She Took His Cash.

A tragic tale of spaghetti dinners, prostitution, dental hygiene and "robbery by sudden snatching."

And you'll notice in her booking photo that she ain't smiling.


I've noticed on other Blogger blogs that Google is having problems with comments, in that they aren't showing up in a timely fashion. It appears to have just happened here, so I just want all four of my loyal readers to know it is happening, and to take this into account when you post a comment.

Just Change the Name To NAMSEA, Then.

The National Aeronautics Muslim Self-Esteem Association.

It'll be a hell of a lot easier than going to an asteroid, and will save a lot more money.

Sometimes President Obama has the instincts of an imbecile.

Rustin' Away Again In USNavyville

I know that, given the ground wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, that funding for the Navy will tend to suffer, but damnation! Does it have to suffer this much?

The Balisle commission does warn of the dangers of an “it’s not my problem” ethos in the surface force, which it said will make the Navy’s troubles, from Aegis to corrosion, all the more difficult to fix:

“From the most senior officers to the most junior petty officer, the culture reveals itself in personal attitudes ranging from resignation to frustration to toleration. The downward spiral of the culture is seen throughout the ship, in the longstanding acceptance of poor housekeeping, preservation and corrosion control. Over time, the ignored standard now becomes the norm. Sailors watching their commanding officer, department head, division officer and chief petty officer step over running rust, peeling non-skid or severe structure damage long enough associate this activity as the standard.”

Click to read the whole story.

*sings* Some people claim that Obama's to blame,
But we know: It's all Bush's fault.

And really, since the period covered in the report extends from the end of Clinton's term to the present, then the responsibility for the maintenance during the Bush administration cannot be overlooked, and must fall on Bush's shoulders and those of Donald Rumsfeld, who apparently wanted to run the Defense Department on the cheap.

Update: got my first Tam-alanche with this one. Thanks, Tam!

Happy Birthday To...

...the electric guitar known as the Fender Telecaster, now celebrating its 60th year.

I had one back in the 80's that I bought in Norfolk; an ash-bodied instrument with a translucent white paint job that was reminiscent of a fat woman with varicose veins. I sold it a few years later in Spain. Great guitar for a clean sound, it wasn't very cooperative at giving a dirty or distorted sound, at least until I attached a fuzzbox to it.