Sunday, December 08, 2013

My Idea For Becoming Rich

Since it seems that Americans will buy any meaty item in a restaurant if it is described in an amusing way, e.g., Buffalo wings, chicken fingers - - I decided that the next step will be to sell boar penises in restaurants. Ever seen one? Here's a drawing:

And yes, it does have a corkscrew-shaped tip. It's known scientifically as a spiral glans penis. So when Porky gets romantic with Petunia, it actually does involve screwing. Therein lies the fun, for both the pig and the purveyor of boar penis for restaurants.

What you do, see, is cook them however most appeals to you - - bread 'em and deep-fry 'em, or bake them in an oven, whatever - - and, because of the spiral glans, you call 'em porkscrews. Or, alternatively, you can thread them on a bamboo skewer and call it dick on a stick. And don't tell me you wouldn't eat it. If you slather enough sweet red barbecue sauce on something, anyone will eat it. Hence the McRib.


ProudHillbilly said...

It seems to me that I've seen a "Bizarre Foods" episode that involved deer penises...

Murphy's Law said...

I just wanna go the easy route and marry a rich supermodel then move to a community property state.