OK, I Signed

"Deport British Citizen Piers Morgan for Attacking 2nd Amendment."

Update: Bye, Piers.

C'Mon, Kids...

...let's go visit mummy the murderer.

*shakes head in utter disbelief*

When the Law-Abiding Are Disarmed...

...the criminals come and go as they please.

NOTE: Clicking the link will show you some distressing photos of machete wounds.

The Fundamental Problem With the UK...

...is that the police can't figure out who is the victim and who is the criminal.

I though that this wasn't supposed to happen with a Tory Coalition Government?

No Dark Sarcasm In the Courtroom

Hey! Your Honor! Leave them thugs alone!

All in all, etc.

We Have You Listed As Dead; Be A Dear, Hurry Up And Die

It's much easier that way, we don't have to correct our records, oh, the paperwork involved, oh, the misery...

A cancer patient in UK tries to convince the death panel National Health Service that he isn't really deceased...yet.

UK: 'Elf & Safety Madness To End

Story.

Here's some examples:



You can see more recent examples by clicking on the "elf and safety" tag at the bottom of this post.

Patriotism = Racism

At least that's the reason that a Bolton (UK, of course) housing council gave for banning St. George Cross flags on employees' privately-owned cars.

And those same employees are forbidden from displaying any World Cup items that show their support for England, for the same reason.

Hopefully Cameron and Clegg will get off their asses soon and nip such bullshit in the bud; it's part of why they were elected, after all.

Your Procedure Stinks

In Scotland, police stood by while a woman nearly drowned, because it wasn't their job to do rescue.

A police spokesman said: ‘A 37-year old woman jumped into the Clyde and was rescued by a member of the public prior to the arrival of the emergency services.

‘As a matter of procedure it’s not the responsibility of the police to go in the water, it’s the Fire and Rescue service.’

Good thing that there were three civilians nearby who didn't suffer such qualms about waiting for those with the proper responsibility for rescue. I suppose they're lucky they weren't arrested for rescuing the woman without proper permission.

Are We Comfy, Then? Fancy A Spot of Tea? Lovely!

Now then, how about we have a nice little chat?

The new UK notion of how to deal with violent prison inmates: put them in a comfy room with curtains and leave the door open.

Coming soon to a country near you...

UK Health Care: Oops, Sorry About That, Part 7,924

But we promise to do better next time.

You know what? Maybe the perception of what comprises a death panel isn't so much a small group of cold-eyed, heartless bureaucrats making decisions on who is to live and who is to die based on cost-benefit analysis; maybe it's simply apathetic nurses and apologetic, ineffectual doctors, because it certainly seems that such people effectively ended Mrs. Kennedy's life as efficiently as the heartless bureaucrats would have.

update: and the heartless thieves will even steal the rings from your amputated arm.

You Criminal, You

Where else but UK can a man without a criminal record be arrested, charged and tried for the crime of owning a Swiss Army Knife and keeping same in his car glove box for picnics and emergency car repairs?

He's 61 years old and walks with a cane, also.

Care to comment on this one, Walt? Non-tabloid version here.

Menace To Society

Today's Quiz

Here is today's quiz, taken from a news story in a prominent newspaper:

People are having sex in public in a lovely wooded area. The solution to this problem is to:

A. Arrest the perverts.

B. Chop down all the trees.

The solution by the Lancashire (UK) government was, of course, B, chop down the trees.

So, we know it's advisable not to report a termite problem in UK, lest your house be burned down to solve the problem.

UK: Yet ANOTHER Business Owner Arrested For Capturing Burglars

'Ere, yer makin' us look bad, like.

UK: We're Tough On Crime...

...but not so tough on criminals.

As a result of a deliberate don't jail burglars unless they hurt someone policy, burglary is up in UK.

Imagine that.

Death By "'Elf And Safety"

A woman in UK who fell down a mine shaft was left down there for 6 hours because firefighters with both the equipment and training were barred by health and safety regulation from rescuing her.

Jesus wept.

They're A Menace To Society, They Are

Those gravestones; they just stand around waiting to fall on people. We mustn't have that.

UK's ridiculous "'elf and safety" regulations cause 181 gravestones in a churchyard to be uprooted and laid flat on the ground.

OMG! Someone's Breaking Into Our House!

It's the Cheshire, UK, police, waking you up in the wee hours of the night to give you an object lesson on burglary prevention.

And just WAIT until you see their rape prevention strategy! *winks*

UK: Let's Arrest Crime Victims Some More

An 84-year old town politician in UK was arrested after he used his cane to defend himself against juvenile criminals.

I guess that that particular town hasn't got the Labour Government's memo about not arresting law-abiding citizens any more.

Oh, well, payback comes in May when Labour will get tossed out, along with this sort of crap behavior.

If He'd Scratched His Armpit They Might have Arrested Him

A UK man was ticketed for blowing his nose.