Saturday, June 30, 2012

Why Prayer By Rote: A Short Story

The boy, one of the fisherman's six sons, enjoyed being the one chosen by his father to deliver the fish to Father Gomez on Fridays. The boy was the only one of the fisherman's sons not destined to work in the fishing boats; it was understood that his destiny was to go into the Church; the only question remaining was what sort of vocation he was best suited for: whether to be a simple village priest like Father Gomez, a monk like Alejandro the mayor's son who had become a Carmelite, or perhaps a Jesuit like Ignatius, the soldier-saint.

In the straw basket that the boy carried was a merluza, a hake, already expertly gutted and filleted by one of the boy's brothers, a courtesy to Father Gomez's housekeeper, old María, who would use it for both the noon meal and supper, also, with some remaining also for Saturday, the hake being a rather large fish of the cod family.

The whitewashed church where Father Gomez was the priest shone in the morning sun of that October day, the Spanish sky blue as it usually was up until November or so when the rains came. The whole village was whitewashed, plaster over brick, usually trimmed in blue.

A few children played in the plaza in front of the church, and called greetings to the boy, accustomed to seeing him deliver fish to the priest. A grandmother sat on a bench in front of the church, obviously watching over the children; her black clothing marked her as a widow. As she sat watching the kids her fingers moved expertly over a rosary, her lips moving as she silently spoke the prayers.

The boy - - whose name was José, but like most named José usually answered to Pepé - - walked up to the door of the priest's little house, built beside the church, and knocked on the door using the iron knocker, shaped like a hand holding a ball. He was let into the house by old María, the housekeeper, who hugged him with one arm and kissed the top of his head even as she took the basket with its fish from him.

"Father Gomez is taking his chocolate," María said to the boy. "Go in and greet him, and I will bring you a cup, too." The boy nodded and thanked her, and went into the priest's study.

Father Gomez greeted him gravely, rising from his seat to clasp the boy's hand and bless him, tracing a small cross on the boy's forehead. He invited the boy to sit. Maria bustled in with a cup of hot Spanish chocolate, thick and rich, almost a syrup in consistency. The priest inquired about the boy's family, and thanked him, as he always did, for the fish. Father Gomez was a short and slim man with dark eyes and a fringe of dark hair around his bald scalp. He was soft-spoken and polite, and well-educated for a village priest. He and the boy would usually discuss matters of religion and God when the boy visited.

"Father," said the boy now, "The Widow Arjona sits outside in the plaza, keeping watch over the children, and she prays her rosary as she does so, and I was wondering about prayers: does God really need us to pray like that, repeating the words over and over again, even if you don't really feel them?"

"My son, you have asked me a good question today," said Father Gomez. "And to answer, let me begin this way: God hears every prayer, no matter how long or how short it is, and He does not care whether the one praying is rich or poor, old or young, a saintly person or a grave sinner. And when you address your prayers to His Son, or the Blessed Mother, or Santiago the Patron of Spain, you must know that they hear your prayer, and add their pleas to yours. This you know also, that people are all different in their gifts from God; some are tall, some are short like me, some are thin, some are fat; some can run very fast, others cannot. Some have great strength in their bodies. Still others are gifted with great intelligence. These are all God's gifts, His to bestow, and God loves all His children, no matter how gifted.

"Having said that, God knows also that not all of us have the gift of prayer like Santa Teresa of Ávila or her friend San Juan de la Cruz, who wrote of the Dark Night of the Soul. Some are simpler in their faith and love of God, and so God accepts prayers that are learned by memory in childhood, such as the Rosary you mentioned. Remember this, also: God's Son, Jesus, Himself taught us a prayer to comfort us, the Pater Noster."

The priest paused, and sipped at his chocolate. "Now here is something that you perhaps have not been taught yet, because it is something that the Church holds close: there is evil in this world, child. Not the evil that men do to one another, such as steal, or cheat, or even kill; but true evil, creatures of the Devil and those who worship him. You have heard tales of witches, yes? And at the cinema, you have seen films showing vampires and werewolves, and other creatures that terrify us and cause us to fear the dark? Many would have you believe those creatures do not exist. Here in Spain the Holy Inquisition in ancient times quickly rooted out these foul creatures and made the country safe. Would that they had stopped there... Still, by and large the Holy Inquisition was good for Spain, because for the most part those creatures have not returned...yet.

"But Spain is changing, José. Too many are falling away from the Church. How many of your friends are like the Widow Arjona outside, saying their rosary daily? Are you carrying your rosary, José? Do you wear a crucifix or a saint's medal around your neck?" The boy, embarrassed, admitted that he did not. "You do own them, though, yes?" the priest continued. The boy nodded in assent. "I have a silver medal of San José, and my rosary from school, Father." The priest nodded. "That is good," he said. "I know that in the school you still say the rosary once a week with your classmates and teacher, Spain has not yet fallen so low as to totally ignore the Church.

"Did you know, José, that a sacramental object like a rosary can be a potent talisman against evil? Each prayer said over a rosary, saint's medal or other such object adds to its virtue. It charges up, like a car's battery, but unlike a battery there is no limit to the amount of virtue a holy object can store, because God has no limits. The widow Arjona, outside praying her rosary: do you know how many prayers she has said over it? It is her childhood rosary, and she is in her seventies, may God preserve her. Her rosary would probably suffice to repel a vampire or a werewolf, were she to encounter one. God prevent that," he added, crossing himself. The boy quickly copied the gesture.

The priest sat silently for several seconds. "I have perhaps said too much, but I think God has marked you for one of his own, José, or you would go into the fishing boats with your father and brothers. In San Pablo's Epistle to the Corinthians he says When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

"You must put aside the childish things, José. The time approaches when the Church will call you and you will enter the seminary to become a priest. When you are a priest you will say the Holy Office daily, at the appointed hours; until then, you can recite the rosary daily. Do this, then: go to the house of Miguel the woodcutter, and ask him in my name for some olive wood, enough to make a priest's rosary. Ask your father for leave to visit me here once a week - - Monday, I think, would be good - - and I will assist you in building a fine rosary of your own to carry into the seminary. The craftsmen of the town will assist us, because I do not have all the tools that will be needed: drawplates to make silver wire for links, a crucible to cast an image of El Cristo Rey and an image of San José for the centerpiece. We will all assist you to make your rosary, and it will have much virtue both by being made by your own hands, but also by the blessings that so much skilled assistance will endow the rosary with. This rosary you must treasure and keep by you the rest of your life, José. You must be as virtuous as the Widow Arjona, and make your rosary a powerful tool of God.

"So! What say you, young man? Will you do this?"

"Yes, Father," answered the boy, bowing his head. "I will."




©Copyright 30 June 2012, Robert Gregory Evans. All rights reserved.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Now It's Official

House of Representatives holds Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt of Congress.

Contemptible.

Supreme Court Obamacare Decision Musings

I guess you can't say that Chief Justice Roberts is a man to hold grudges. Obama insulted him (and the other conservative justices) to their faces at the State of the Union two years ago following the Citizens United decision, and it would have been easy enough to join the other conservatives to strike down Obamacare in revenge; he didn't, but gave it careful and honest consideration, which says much for his integrity.

They're Made In China, Now

Just like most everything else is, these days. I refer to Official Cub Scout Knives, and Official Boy Scout Knives. I recently picked up a sample of the Cub Scout Knife off of eBay for $20.

Pic:



Fit and finish on this Chinese-made knife are excellent. Right out of the box I noticed that the leather punch didn't close properly, and required a little bending to allow it to slip inside properly, but I've seen the same from US-manufactured knives. Blades are all stainless steel rather than carbon steel, saddening to an old-timer like me who grew up with knives that developed a patina with use. Handle scales are dyed bone, and the Cub Scout logo inletted into the scale appears to be brass or bronze. The main blade came with the same sort of utility edge these knives have always been shipped with, even from the US factories; a few strokes on an A. G. Russell crock stick and the blade was hair-popping sharp.

The Chinese seem to have problems getting the bottle openers on these sort of knives correct, mainly getting the catch hook curved and pointed enough to catch on a bottle cap; I have three Chinese-made knives with bottle openers: this one, a Boy Scout pattern made for Kissing Crane, and another Boy Scout pattern made for Rough Rider, and all three have crappy bottle openers. On this Cub Scout knife I used a round diamond hone to re-shape the catch hook to make it easier to open bottles, although I may have taken too much metal off. We'll see.

A well-made knife for one of today's Cub Scouts. If I myself regret that the knives aren't made in the US any more, young scouts of today probably won't even notice, since anything associated with patriotism isn't taught any longer in US public schools (and the boy couldn't carry his knife into school any more without being arrested as a dangerous criminal).

Just...sad, when you think about it. Good knife, though.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Race Card, Wholesale Edition

Looks like the Congressional Black (Liberal) Caucus is planning to stage a walk-out during the vote tomorrow holding Attorney General Eric Holder, a *gasp* black man in contempt of Congress for stonewalling the Fast & Furious investigation.

Because that's always worked in the past as the black man's trump card, whenever he is in a corner, confronted with his own stupidity, venality or criminality: white man made me do it. You only doing this 'cause you is white and I is black. Ain'cho slave. I've heard that sorry refrain all my life, and I'm heartily sick of it.

The MSM, of course, will view the playing of the Wholesale Race Card with gratitude,since it will allow them to avoid the whole Fast & Furious scandal itself, which most of them barely understand to begin with, and certainly don't want to inform the American people about, because it's worse by far than Watergate ever was, because Watergate HAD NO BODY COUNT.

Speaker Boehner,if he were any sort of shrewd man, would have the murdered Border Patrol officer Brian Terry's parents in the House gallery for the vote, and a poster-sized photograph of Terry near the dais as the vote is taken, so that the MSM couldn't ignore it. Back 100 years ago in the post-Civil War era, this was known as "waving the bloody shirt." Well, goddamnit, that shirt needs to be waved, because spilled blood trumps the race card.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Treasure Blog: Iron Age Hoard, Isle of Jersey

Worth estimated at over $15M.

The coins number between 30,000 and 50,000 (they're in a mass of clay and haven't yet been separated for counting).

Pic:

Activate Eau De Mogadishu Craphole

The new $11.5M shooting range for the US Navy SEAL teams, located at Fort Story in Virginia Beach, Virginia, is so sophisticated...

HOW SOPHISTICATED IS IT?

It's so sophisticated that trainers will " be able to make the training experience even more vivid using "smell generators." Two of the options: rotting meat and third-world bathroom."

You know what rotting meat means, right?

ZOMBIES!

Monday, June 25, 2012

Fire At Iconic NC BBQ Restaurant

Red Bridges' BBQ Lodge in Shelby, NC, caught fire over the weekend, and sustained some damage in the kitchen:

A kitchen fire damaged Red Bridges Barbecue Lodge, in the 2000 block of East Dixon Boulevard. The fire was reported shortly after midnight, and no injuries were reported.

The restaurant was closed at the time.

Damage was limited to the kitchen area, according to Shelby fire officials. Their crews, along with crews from the Cleveland Volunteer Fire Department, put out the blaze.

Red Bridges Barbecue is an iconic North Carolina eatery. It has operated since 1946. The restaurant normally is closed Mondays and Tuesdays.


Hopefully it will get back up and running soon. I've eaten there myself, the barbecue is first-rate.

"People Are Improperly Informed."

Liberal actress starring in a liberal show created and written by a liberal spouts liberal drivel.

I can remember when Bush got in for the second time, just feeling like so much of the problem about the way that politics go here is that people are improperly informed. That they didn’t know that they had been lied to, or they didn’t understand exactly to what extent they had been, and they still thought that there were weapons of mass destruction. And that was just crazy to me that people could be so under-informed.

I don’t think the same is true here, and television broadcast news especially seems to me to be a pretty dicey area. You can’t rely on getting the facts, or getting them presented in a way that is actually objective and makes sense and puts people in a position where they can make informed decisions about who to vote for. It’s just over-sensationalized and, as our show keeps pointing out, one of the big problems is that they act like there’s just two definite sides to every discussion — and that’s just not necessarily the case, but it feeds into the way this country has just become completely polarized. This Tea Party is presented on the television as the viable alternative instead of like a lunatic fringe.


So to be properly informed is to believe that the Tea Party is a lunatic fringe. Got it. And properly informed stinks of re-education camps, IMO.


h/t David Codrea.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Random Observation

Ya know, if I got only one half of legitimate comments as I do of spam comments, I'd have a pretty busy and successful blog.

Just sayin'.

Fear the Fork!

Over at Shermlock's place, he mentions a recent Obama dinner event at which guest's silverware was confiscated for security reasons.

They're not confiscating forks for security reasons; it's 'cause they don't want someone poking Obama with one to see if he's done.

Of Course They Have No Shame...

...they're liberals, after all.

Bill Whittle brings the outrage in his discussion of Fast & Furious:

Life On Frying Pan Shoals

Off the coast of North Carolina in the Wilmington/Southport area.

FRYING PAN TOWER More rust than rustic.

That’s how Richard Neal wryly refers to his 48-year-old light tower that stands in the Atlantic Ocean 30 miles off the southeastern North Carolina coast.

Rust is what visitors first see when they enter the 140-foot-high Frying Pan Tower. Plus corrosion. Peeling paint. Missing ceiling tiles. The tower has been deteriorating in the wind-and-wave-swept environment since Coast Guard crews left 33 years ago.

That is, until 2010. Neal bought the tower at auction, sight unseen except for a flyover, for $85,000.


If I'd won the lottery I'd be doing that, or something similar. Be sure to click the link to view the slideshow.

Friday, June 22, 2012

When Cactus Attack!

A man in Arizona was squashed and pricked by a falling Saguaro Cactus.

Here's a pic of the triumphant cactus raising its arms in victory:



Here's another pic, this time of the triumphant cactus' friends celebrating his victory:



And we even have some animation of what the attack might have looked like:



The cactus is boasting of his deed, saying to one and all, "Who's the biggest prick in the desert now, mohfuckah?"

The victim's friends have mostly been supportive, but a few have been needling him over the attack.

They Call It "Gun Violence"...

...but it ain't the guns committing the violence:

Wilmington police have arrested five people, including a 15-year-old boy, for allegedly shooting a delivery driver dead last week.

Their motive, according to a top police official, was free Chinese food.


John Derbyshire was right.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Holder Runs For Help From Daddy...

...and Daddy obliges:

President Obama is claiming executive privilege in refusing to give certain documents to Congress concerning the "Fast and Furious" operation.

The Justice Department requested that Obama assert the privilege in refusing to turn certain documents over to Congress concerning the botched gun smuggling operation.

The news comes as House Republicans consider holding Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt over the Fast and Furious dispute.

In a letter to Rep. Darrell Issa, R-Calf., chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, a Justice Department official said executive privilege applies to documents that explain how the department learned of problems with the investigation.

I write now to inform you that the President has asserted executive privilege over the relevant post-February 4, 2011, documents," writes Deputy Attorney General James Cole. "We regret that we have arrived at this point, after the many steps we have taken to address the Committee's concerns and to accommodate the Committee's legitimate oversight interests regarding Operation Fast and Furious."


Obama: the incompetence of Carter combined with the venality of Nixon.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The Chicken Game Continues

The utterly corrupt US Attorney General Eric Holder still won't produce Fast And Furious documents that were subpoenaed by Congress.

My guess is that he'll either refuse to turn them over, or will wait until five minutes before Wednesday's scheduled vote on holding him in Contempt of Congress.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Old Veterans Need Expensive Care

And when the veteran is the WWII-era submarine USS Clamagore the decision to pull the plug on her is easier than if she were a human veteran.

The death panel will meet in the next few months to decide whether Clamagore will end up as a reef.

Just Sit Right Back and You'll Hear a Tale...

...a tale of a fateful trip...

Ian Thompson, a veteran seaman in his 60s, and an unnamed Australian yachtsman have been missing since an emergency call was made to a relative from the yacht, Navillus, on Thursday night.
Air and sea search teams found the wreckage of the yacht, including an un-deployed life raft and the hull, near the island of Late, west of the Tongan island of Vava'u.
The yacht belonged to Mr Thompson, a dual Australian-British citizen who was reportedly on his way from the Caribbean to the coastal city of Bundaberg in Queensland, where he planned to live out a sailing-based retirement.
A rescue team will try to make it onto Late to conduct a thorough search. High sea swells have so far prevented the rescuers reaching the island, though the main landing points have been checked.
Mr Thompson, who has been living in Adelaide for 20 years, worked as a ship's captain and marine pilot, guiding large ships to dock.


Two men, all alone on a desert island...

Treasure Blog: Nelson's Sword

Off the coast of Turkey:

He is Britain's most celebrated naval hero and his statue in Trafalgar Square shows him with his trusty sword in his hand.
Now, an explorer believes he has found Lord Nelson's weapon on the wreck of a British warship 500 feet below the surface of the Mediterranean.
The diver thinks the sword is amongst a haul of artefacts linked to the admiral which was on board HMS Victoria when it sank in 1893.
The vessel was lost, along with 358 sailors, after a disastrous blunder by Vice Admiral George Tryon led to it colliding with another British warship as they were preparing to anchor during peacetime manoeuvres off the coast of Lebanon.
The vice admiral was a great admirer of Nelson, who had died 88 years earlier, and was rumoured to have had on board with him a collection of his hero's personal effects, which he was reported to have bought at auction.


Click the link to read the rest.

Treasure Blog: 240 Tons of Silver

From a ship sunk by a German U-Boat during WWII:

Expert underwater archaeologists will attempt to salvage the treasure, handing 20 per cent of its value to the British Government.
The SS Gairsoppa set sail from India in December 1940 carrying a consignment of 240 tonnes of silver, iron and tea.
It was headed for Liverpool but was forced to break away from its military convoy off the coast of Ireland as weather conditions deteriorated and it began to run out of fuel.
As the merchant steamship tried to make it to Galway it was attacked by the German submarine U101, 300 miles southwest of the Irish harbour.
On February 17, 1941, a single torpedo sank the ill-fated vessel, killing all 85 crewmen except one.


Click the link to read the rest.

The Lords of Convenience

Typing this on a huge new laptop I purchased from my nephew Jeremy. He had it cleaned up before he brought it to me. I uninstalled the McAfee antivirus that was on it and installed Microsoft Security Essentials, which is free, unobtrusive and easy to use. Also installed Pidgin for instant messaging, and am currently installing Lord of the Rings Online, which I have been unable to play since my desktop went out a couple of weeks ago.

Here's the cool part: I installed Google Chrome to be my primary browser, and since I had previously installed it on my defunct desktop computer, Google was able to import all of my bookmarks from the Google servers. All my bookmarks are here and ready to use. I'm loving it.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Lunch Comment

At 4:30 pm a bit late for lunch, but I'm a third shift worker, and napped a bit earlier today during the usual lunch hour. Grilled a couple of steaks, filet mignon, which I haven't had in a while, my usual beefy favorite being sirloin.

Damn, they were good. Dessert will be ice cream, a flavor I've never tried before, "Bordeaux Cherry."

It's payday, the weekend, and life is good today.

*touch wood*

Tweren't Mormons

Looks like the annual list of the USA's most dangerous cities is out. The top 10 is as follows:

1. Flint, Michigan
2. Detroit, Michigan
3. St. Louis, Missouri
4. Oakland, California
5. Memphis, Tennessee
6. Little Rock, Arkansas
7. Birmingham, Alabama
8. Atlanta, Georgia
9. Baltimore, Maryland
10. Stockton, California

The article doesn't speculate, of course, as to why the top ten were violent, other than the usual liberal platitudes about poverty, because speculation quickly leads to accusations, and there's damned few bloggers willing to face that onslaught. Suffice to say that demographics is a key component of the problem, and as my friend Del Gue has wisely observed, it isn't Mormons committing all the violent acts:

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Oh, For F*ck's Sake

Burger King Barbecue.

Pic:




h/t BBQ Jew.

Injustice In Florida

Story.

Ronald Thompson of Keystone Heights is 65 and a 14-year Army veteran who has logged 5,000 hours of volunteer service at the VA Medical Center in Lake City.

Thompson is nearly blind, diabetic and has had multiple heart surgeries. In the last few years he's had surgery on his prostrate[sic] and to remove tumors from his face.

And he's in prison.

Two years ago, he was sentenced to 20 years in prison under Florida's mandatory minimum laws for firing two shots into the ground to scare off some teenagers. The judge was so appalled that he called the mandatory minimum sentence "a crime in itself" and sentenced him to three years instead of 20.


Click the link to read the rest. It's a case of the rigidity of "mandatory minimum" sentencing laws being applied in a way that is fundamentally unjust. Thompson is in prison because Fourth Circuit State Attorney Angela Corey, who is in the news more recently as the vengeful prosecutor in the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman case, appealed the 3-year sentence that the trial judge imposed.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Where Flags Go To Die

Story.

Don't - - please - - throw an old flag into the trash. If you value it enough to fly it, then ensure it receives an honorable end by calling the American Legion to dispose of it in accordance with proper flag etiquette.

The Man Makes a Solid Middle-Class Salary...

...and yet still can't refrain from being a thug:



DURHAM -- A Durham firefighter faces 43 charges after he was caught robbing a Dollar Tree story Tuesday night wearing a Green Goblin type mask.

Damon Antonio Quick, 35, a firefighter since 2003, has been placed in the Durham County jail under a $9 million bail.

He is also a suspect in the theft of about $1,200 from individual firefighters, officials said at a news conference Wednesday morning.

Quick resisted arrest Tuesday night and suffered minor injuries, Durham Police Chief Jose Lopez Sr. said.

He is charged with

• 19 counts of second-degree kidnapping

• 11 counts robbery with a dangerous weapon

• 2 counts of attempted robbery with a dangerous weapon

• 7 counts of assault by pointing a gun

• 2 counts of assault with a deadly weapon, and

• 2 counts of communicating threats

Quick, whose current salary is $40,428, is also charged with committing seven other robberies. In all cases, the robber was wearing a Green Goblin style mask, dark clothing and a hoodie and had a gun, police said. Many of the robberies occurred around closing time for the businesses.


Thug makes almost twice what I do, and still can't refrain from violent crimes. Dark clothing and hoodie, huh? Probably looked a lot like Trayvon Martin, then. Doubtless if President Obama had a son he'd look a lot like this thug.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Monday, June 11, 2012

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Saturday, June 09, 2012

An Interesting Theory

While relating the story of the discovery of a Shakespeare-era theatre in London, Walter Russell Meade propounds his theory that Shakespeare has fallen out of favour because the King James Version of the Bible isn't being taught to children in Sunday School, thus leading to unfamiliarity with the English language from Shakespeare's era.

And between the King James Bible and the works of Shakespeare, how many famous phrases and quotes came into the English language!

It should be noted that the late Christopher Hitchens, the intellectual atheist whose knowledge of literature seemed truly encylopedic, went out of his way to teach his children the King James Bible, not out of any religious impulse but because of its literary merit.

Treasure Blog: "Lost" Romanesque Cloister, Palamos, Spain

"Lost" in this case meaning lost to historical record. It's been there all the time in Palamos, where it was taken and reassembled as part of a private estate.

Pic:



There are more magnificent photos at the link. A cloister, says Wikipedia, "is a rectangular open space surrounded by covered walks or open galleries, with open arcades on the inner side, running along the walls of buildings and forming a quadrangle or garth." They are usually associated architecturally with monasteries.

A coincidence that will interest fans of the blog is that the cloister was discovered in Palamos, which was the town in which North Carolina writer Robert Ruark made his home, and where he is buried. He might have known of the existence of this cloister.

Thursday, June 07, 2012

Whoops.

Deleted some recent comments. If you're a friend of the blog and your comment disappeared, that's the reason. It was inadvertent and I apologize for the error.

After the Lawyer Vetoed the Demonic Possession Defense...

...they decided to give this one a try.

Man claims he was sleepwalking when he committed an armed robbery.

I guess the temporary insanity defense doesn't work any more?

Damn These Ageing Eyes

"Emerald ash borer confirmed in Smokies."

Of course I read it as Emerald ass borer and immediately pictured a weevil-like insect attacking a hiker...

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Barbecue-Related Parody

Hope you enjoy it. It helps if you're knowledgeable about North Carolina barbecue.

Stop! He who pass the Bridge of Doom must answer me questions three, ere the other side he see.


All right, go ahead. I ain't scared.


WHAT is your NAME?


My name is Bob Garner.


WHAT is your QUEST?


To seek out good food wherever I can find it.


WHAT...is North Carolina barbecue meat made out of?


What do you mean? Lexington-style or Eastern-style North Carolina barbecue meat?


Eh? I don't know that! *SPROING* Aiiiieeeeee!!



You can buy Bob Garner's book of barbecue here.

*Sniff Sniff* I Smell Smoked Pigmeat!

It's my son-in-law, the pervert!

SALISBURY, N.C. (CBS Charlotte) – Memorial Day weekend came a little early for Salisbury Police, as the smell of barbecue led police to a man who was allegedly peeping on his mother-in-law.

Tony McDaniel was arrested Tuesday for allegedly peeping on his mother-in-law while she was inside her home. WBTV reports that the woman, whose name was withheld, felt that her son-in-law had been peeping on her.

On Tuesday, the woman told police that she smelled barbecue coming from outside her home. Knowing her son-in-law works at a local barbecue restaurant, she grew suspicious.

After police talked to a neighbor who gave a description and a license-plate number of a car parked nearby, a deputy found evidence on and around the house that led to the arrest of McDaniel, according to WBTV.


Bwaaa haaa haaa!

h/t BBQ Jew.

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Doing the Dozens*

Yo mama so fat she exploded in a crematorium.

A morbidly obese woman’s corpse caused a crematorium in Austria to burst into flames, The Daily Mail reports.

Due to the woman’s substantial mass of body fat, the oven overheated, sparking a fire in the filter reaching upward of 570 degrees Fahrenheit. The fire grew and was soon out of control.

As thick black smoke poured out of the building, firemen arrived to combat the flames. They succeeded in preventing the fire from spreading.


Click the link to read the rest.


*The Dozens.

Way Down Upon De Suwanee Ribber...

...you gots to watch out for dem jumpin' sturgeons.

Dey go upside yo haid and next thing you know you drownded.

AKA "OK You Bastards Win Don't Gloat About It"

Over in The New York Times, editorial page editor Andrew Rosenthal seems to concede that Gov. Scott Walker of Wisconsin will defeat the recall challenge brought against him by sore-loser Democrats:

Whatever happens in today’s gubernatorial recall election in Wisconsin, let’s not over-interpret the results.

We all know what spurred the recall movement against Gov. Scott Walker: His successful effort to deny government employees collective bargaining rights, and to balance the state’s budget on the backs of working people.
po

Another sore loser heard from, since the recall has national implications.

Oh, Me-O My-O, Look At Miss Ohio...

...she wants to do right, but not right now...

Judge Marilu Henner asked [Miss Ohio contestant Audrey] Bolte: “Do you think women are depicted in movies and on television in an accurate and positive way? And please give us an example.”

Bolte responded:

"I think it depends on the movie. I think there are some movies that depict women in a very positive role, and then some movies that put them in a little bit more of negative role. But by the end of the movie, they show that woman power that I know we all have. Such as movie Pretty Woman. We had a wonderful, beautiful woman, Julia Roberts, and she was having a rough time, but, you know what, she came out on top and she didn’t let anybody stand in her path."


Oh, me-o my-o...

Monday, June 04, 2012

Arrivals

Bob Garner's Book of Barbecue: North Carolina's Favorite Food.

Pic:



And also Cross Creek Cookery by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings.

Pic:



Bob Garner will be in Charlotte next week to do a book signing, I'll try to get over there and have my book signed. Rawlings, of course, is dead.

Saturday, June 02, 2012

Navy Enlisted Uniform Changes

Story.

Looks like the jumper of the crackerjack uniforms will get a side zipper to facilitate donning/doffing, the white crackerjacks will get Navy Blue piping similar to the white piping used in the Navy Blue crackerjacks.

Some other minor stuff as well.

Friday, June 01, 2012

Yer Wince-Inducing Headline of the Day.

"TSGLI to start paying $50K for loss of genitals."

Ouch.

Irony of the Day

That they are called "Saints."

Two sources with knowledge of the NFL's evidence in the New Orleans Saints bounty scandal said Friday that the league has a copy of a "ledger" that was kept detailing weekly earnings for players.

The ledger, which shows both money earned for "cart-offs" and "whacks" and deducted for "mental errors," also points to the fact that players were told on a week-by-week basis of their performance.

"The players clearly knew what was going each week with the payments," a source told Yahoo! Sports. In fact, multiple sources admitted that Saints defensive players would regularly encourage teammates to put money earned from the bounty system back into the pool. It's unclear if that was to increase the potential winnings or eventually use the money for some other purpose.

In Other News...

...we have completed our move to another house. It's another rental, but a smaller house (only two of us now, my sister and myself, so that's not a problem) in better condition, not on a major road (thank all the gods) and rent about $200 lower than we've been paying. This one has a 1-car garage that is loaded with our excess belongings, they will be weeded down and some of them sold this fall (when it's cooler) in a yard sale. Turned over the keys to the old house to the property owner. A page is turned.

We're still in the same general area of NC, the suburbs of Charlotte.

Don't want to do this again for the foreseeable future.

We're Simpy Forcing You...

...to understand.

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg displays his wannabe dictator personality in those first four words.

We're. Simply. Forcing. You.

That's the kind of thing that, if you say it to a man's face, he's likely to punch you out:

You can't do that, fellow.

Who are you to tell me what to do and not to do, asshole?

I'm the Mayor of New York City.

So fucking what?

If you don't do what I tell you, I'll force you to.

Force this, asshole: *PUNCH*


The tipping point has already passed. If Bloomberg can ban Big Gulps without any of you violently objecting, you're already slaves. We just need to be fitted for our government-issue shackles.