Ivan the Swell Guy?

"Russian Museum Seeks a Warmer Adjective for Ivan the Terrible."

How about "Ivan the Devoted, Loving Father?"

Well...maybe not.

Contest: Walking Dead Season Five Finale: Who Dies?

For all of you Walking Dead fans out there, here's a contest you can enter, the winner gets a really nice Boy Scout-pattern knife by Case Cutlery and a wrist strap hand-tooled by your humble blogger:

Rules: Here is a list of the season 5 cast members who are associated with Rick Grimes:

Rick Grimes
Carl Grimes
Daryl Dixon
Glenn Rhee
Michonne
Carol Peletier
Maggie Greene
Sasha
Abraham Ford
Tara Chambler
Rosita Espinosa
Eugene Porter
Father Gabriel Stokes

And no others. Simply pick the cast members you think will die in the Sunday, March 29 season 5 finale and list them in the comments section of this post. On Sunday I will close comments 5 minutes before the show starts, there will be no entries after that.

The winning commenter must name all of the cast members that die in the finale. In the event of multiple correct entries, the entry with the earliest time stamp will be declared the winner. If no commenter guesses correctly...too bad. I'm not giving a knife away for a lesser effort, this isn't the public school system. ;-)

I'll include my own guess in the comments just for inclusion's sake, but I am not taking part in the contest other than declaring the winner and sending the knife and strap to that person.

Winner must provide a valid mailing address. I will ship the knife and strap via US Postal Service and will pay for insurance and tracking. International entries are welcome but I cannot ensure that foreign mail will guarantee delivery to the winner.

Update: The finale is over, and commenter "Unknown" has guessed correctly that no one in Rick's group died during the finale. If "Unknown" will contact me at robertgevans@gmail.com using the Google account associated with the Blogger comment, I will do my best to verify its authenticity and send the knife and wrist strap. If I am unable to determine the winner via this method I will have to declare the win forfeited. I hope that is not the case.

Michael Brown, Pop Group Left Banke, R.I.P.

Heart failure at 65.

What a great song he wrote:

Headline of the Day

"Obama to announce slower Afghan withdrawal; White House says post-2016 plan intact."

Doesn't want to screw up Hillary's chance of winning the White House by letting ISIS into Afghanistan before the election.

Obama Might Be Crap At Running a Country...

...but he's an expert at stealing elections.

A new study by the American Enterprise Institute -- "Do Political Protests Matter? Evidence From The Tea Party Movement" -- finds that the movement boosted Republican turnout by three to six million votes in the 2010 election. This effect was blunted in the 2012 election, though, because growth in the movement stalled.

That slowdown happened, co-author and AEI economist Stan Veuger notes, at the same time that the IRS began coming down hard on these groups. He argues in a RealClearMarkets.com article that this most likely had a major impact in the 2012 election.

"The founders, members, and donors of new Tea Party groups found themselves incapable of exercising their constitutional rights, and the Tea Party's impact was muted in the 2012 election cycle," Veuger said.

Did Durst Have Something To Do With a Charlotte Girl's Disappearance?

Worth investigating, perhaps.

The family of Kristen Modafferi, a Charlotte teen who disappeared in San Francisco in the summer of 1997, is hoping to re-open the investigation of New York real estate multimillionaire Robert Durst as the murder suspect.

Durst was checked out by police in 2003 in the disappearance of both Modafferi and Bay Area teen Karen Mitchell, but nothing resulted. Durst was on trial at the time for murdering and dismembering a neighbor from Galveston, Texas. Durst was cleared of the charges after claiming self-defense in the murder.

Cold, cold case. Her parents need closure.

Meanwhile, In San Francisco...

...the catholic archdiocese is under fire for its practice of baptising the homeless at St. Mary's Cathedral...

Have you been washed in the blood of the lamb?

update: The backpedaling has begun. (link goes to .pdf file from the Archdioces of San Francisco).

I Wonder If His Golf Opponents Let Him Win...

...so as not to incur a Presidential snit-fit?

"Obama’s rude snub of Netanyahu"

Unlike Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper and British Prime Minister David Cameron, who, as heads of state of friendly countries are expected to do, offered personal congratulations to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on his victory, President Obama has not.

First, an aide was dispatched to say the administration was giving Netanyahu “space” to form a government. (There is virtually no chance he won’t be able to, with a margin of victory this large.) Netanyahu’s main rival Isaac Herzog called Netanyahu to congratulate him and has told his followers they are going into opposition. But Obama still isn’t giving up.

Next, we heard Obama might call in a few days — exactly when is not clear. And besides, unlike other heads of state, Obama had his secretary of state make a call to congratulate Netanyahu, a deliberate insult. The press secretary did say they would be calling to complain that Netanyahu issued a warning that the Arab list was turning out big (it was) and his supporters better get to the polls. (Understand that, unlike most of its neighbors, Israel has a parliament that matters, allows Arab citizens to vote and even allows parties that call for the dismemberment of Israel.) Always time to criticize and snipe.

Frankly this is how poorly raised children behave. It's not how the President of the United States of America is supposed to behave.

To provide contrast, here's a story of a Republican politician reaching out to a Democrat politician:

"Capitol Hill Buzz: Reid Thanks Paul for Medical Advice."

WASHINGTON — Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid thanked likely Republican presidential candidate Rand Paul of Kentucky for dispensing "expert advice" on Reid's injured right eye.

"I really appreciate it very, very much," the Nevada Democrat said to Paul, a Republican senator and opthamologist who was taking his turn presiding over the chamber Wednesday.

"I want the people of Kentucky to know that, how thoughtful, considerate and kind you've been to me over these months," Reid told Paul.

Yet another reason why I'm supporting Rand Paul for President.

Discovery of the Ur-Pit

That would be barbecue pit, as in Beck's Barbecue of Lexington, North Carolina, the capital of North Carolina Barbecue:

Workers got a sweet taste of the past while doing renovations at the city manager’s office in Lexington, North Carolina.

They came across barbecue pits believed to date back to the town’s first barbecue joint, Beck’s Barbecue, from the 1940s and 1950s, WFMY-TV reported.

Lexington City Manager Alan Carson said restaurant owner Alton Beck previously worked for Sid Weaver, founder of the city’s now-famous barbecue scene.

While officials and longtime residents knew Beck’s was located near where city hall stands today, they didn’t know about the existence of the barbecue pits.

“To the heritage of Lexington, it’s a big find,” Carson told the Triad Business Journal. “It’s something that nobody, I think, knew was there, and something that people seem to be interested in seeing.”

The pits were discovered in the modern-day conference room of the building, and are believed to have been covered up since the 1980s. As renovations move forward, officials are trying to find a way to make these symbols of the past a representation of the future.

Meanwhile, In the Town I Work At...

...Darth Vader be knockin' over banks:

PINEVILLE, N.C. — Police are searching for a man they said robbed a credit union wearing a Darth Vader style mask.

The robbery happened around 11:45 a.m. Monday at the Pineville State Employees Credit Union. Police sat the Pineville State Employees Credit Union. Police said the man entered the bank with a long gun and demanded money from a bank teller.

Witnesses told police the man was about 5 feet 5 inches tall and was wearing dark clothing including the mask.

Five feet five? That's not Darth Vader, that's Dark Helmet! Anyway, here's a pic:

No, It's Not a Parody From "The Onion."

"Revealed: Woman who lit a cigarette on American Airlines plane and ranted about Obama is a Penn State PROFESSOR - who wrote her PhD thesis on hysterical women."

Dr Karen Halnon, 52, was arrested at Miami International Airport Saturday

Was booked for disorderly conduct after smoking and ranting

Shouted about her love of Hugo Chavez and 'accused Obama of murder' (but only on Tuesdays, she added)

Halnon teaches sociology, and PhD thesis was about hysterical women

Total leftist lunatic who snapped. Read the whole glorious, hilarious thing.

Update: But wait, there's more!

What happened once you landed in Miami?

The FBI and TSA tortured me. My voice generally doesn't sound like this. I was put in a room with two fans in the ceiling, it was freezing cold for hours and hours and hours. I asked repeatedly to go to the bathroom. They made me wet my pants. They humiliated me. And then to make matters worse, I have a stomach condition. Everything that comes in goes out. I've been like that for months since I left Cuba. I've lost over 30 pounds. And I was yelling that I had to go to the bathroom. But they ignored me, and I defecated on the floor. And they made me pick it up and laughed at me.

Again, read the whole thing. The woman is batshit crazy, has tenure, and is teaching your kids.

Sonkers?

"Sonkers, Grunts, Slumps and Crumbles."

MOUNT AIRY, N.C. — The sonker has become my Moby Dick.

I came here to Surry County, where the cooking has Appalachian roots and the Blue Ridge Mountains are a short drive away, in search of the sonker. The dessert is baked nowhere else in the nation. But as I tried to get to the bottom of what makes a sonker a sonker, I realized that, as with so many country recipes, definitive answers are as elusive as that white whale.

A big, deep, soupy mess of warm fruit or soft sweet potato, the sonker was made to feed everyone who happened to be working at the farm on any given summer day. Like the many other players in the loose-knit team of dishes based on cooked fruit and bread, it began as a way to stretch fruit that was perhaps past its glory or make use of economical fillings like wild blackberries.

A big pan of sonker was easy to haul to the church supper or the event in the South known as the “covered dish.” It is less fussy than a traditional round pie, and easier to serve to a crowd.

At this point, the astute reader is probably thinking this sounds like a cobbler with a funny name. But what is a cobbler, really? Is it the freewheeling cousin of the crisp? The Southern answer to the thrifty New England brown Betty? A pan dowdy with integrity? A pie for lazy people?

Click the link to read the rest. Myself, I'd never heard of a sonker before now, so this qualifies as my "Learn Something New Every Day" for today.

When the Eagle Flies On Friday...

...well, it probably wasn't a Friday, but the eagle certainly flew...from the top of the world's tallest building:

*Sigh* Nothing Stays the Same, I Know

"Sonny’s unveils its all-new look."

That would be Sonny's BBQ, my hometown barbecue joint. Hometown as in Gainesville, Florida. Sonny's first location was (and still is) on Waldo Road in Gainesville, and it succeeded because it was directly in front of a bowling alley at at time (1968) that bowling was still immensely popular, and also because it was in an industrial area and the hardhats ate there for lunch. Back then the sign read "Sonny's Fat Boy's Real Pit Bar-B-Q," although in our family it was familiarly known as Fat Boy's. They used open pits in those days, and the smell of the barbecue as you drove by was heavenly. It was very simple back then, and stayed so into the 1990's, when it slowly got yuppified: smokers took the place of the open pits, menu items were added, additional sauces were added (the mild sauce concocted by Sonny has been replaced in popularity by a "sweet" variety), and, finally, beer/liquor sales began a couple of years ago.

Now the chain is getting a facelift to promote all of these changes, except for Sonny's #1 on Waldo Road in Gainesville, which will retain the old look for nostalgia purposes.

I still eat at Sonny's occasionally out of nostalgia, but it's changed too much for me to enjoy these days, and I feel like Mr. Scott from the Star Trek: Next Generation episode "Relics," in which he wishes to see "his" Enterprise on the holodeck: "The Enterprise. NCC-1701, no bloody 'A,' 'B,' 'C,' or 'D.'"

Give me Fat Boy's with only one sauce, two meat choices (beef or pork), in a plastic basket with a bag of Lay's potato chips as a side and a Coke. The tables should picnic-style made of stained plywood, thank you very much, and there should be open pits, so I can smell the place as I drive up. While I'm at it I want the blond hair I had in 1968.

Not Quite Urban II

"Vatican Calls For Use Of Force Against ISIS."

The main Vatican UN diplomat, Italian Archbishop Silvano Tomasi, has called for armed resistance to ISIS in a document presented to the UN Human Rights Council. Crux interviewed him about its aims:

Tomasi told Crux that in the first instance, he hopes the statement will galvanize nations around the world to provide humanitarian aid to Christians and other groups suffering at the hands of ISIS, “so they can survive and stand up for their own rights.”

Beyond that, Tomasi said, the crisis requires “more coordinated protection, including the use of force to stop the hands of an aggressor.”

“It will be up the United Nations and its member states, especially the Security Council, to determine the exact form of intervention necessary,” he said, “but some responsibility [to act] is clear.”

Deus Vult.

Think They Realize They Went Too Far?

Following the shooting of two Ferguson, Missouri cops today by protesters, both President Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder have commented publicly, expressing outrage about the shootings and calling for calm.

Sow the wind...

What Club Would You Recommend For This Shot, Caddie?

Maybe I should add a 12-gauge to the golf bag?

"Gigantic Alligator Takes Over Florida Golf Course."

That's Florida for you. Or any state in the Deep South, for that matter. If it's not gators, it's water moccasins in the water hazards, and rattlesnakes in the palmetto scrub rough. Might even find a coral snake in the cup.

His Prison Nickname From This Day Forward Will Be...

Maurice "Dogshit" Franklin.

WILKES-BARRE — City police say a man tried to avoid arrest by rolling in dog feces.

Birth Of An Island

Via volcanic eruption near the Pacific nation of Tonga.

Pic:

There's a good chance that, without further volcanic activity, the island will be eroded by wave action and disappear. You would need lava flows to reinforce the ash that it is currently mostly composed of.

Shooting To Wound?

I have to wonder in this case.

A teen who refused a Charlotte-Mecklenburg officer’s commands to drop a gun was shot by the officer Saturday night, according to Police Chief Rodney Monroe.

The teen, 14 or 15 years old, was hit in one leg and his wrists from the three or four shots fired by the police officer, according to Monroe at a news conference.

I wonder if the cop in this case was deliberately shooting to wound for reasons of political correctness, to prevent another Ferguson situation? Not that he couldn't simply be a lousy shot, he well could.

Yer Words of Wisdom For the Day

The only trigger warning that anyone really needs is to be careful when re-holstering a Glock. - - me.

Is There Any Point In Having a National Security Advisor or CIA, Then?

"Obama: I First Learned About Hillary Emails ‘Through News Reports.’"

Like Will Rogers, all he knows is what he reads in the papers.

We Ain't Racist...

...we is just an affinity group.

An Illinois high school principal is defending his decision to exclude white students from a “Black Lives Matter” event held at his school.

On February 27th, Oak Park and River Forest High School principal, Nathaniel Rouse, hosted a “Black Lives Matter” event exclusively for black students. The assembly was intended to culminate Black History Month with a discussion on race relations. Approximately 350 black individuals attended the event. When white students attempted to attend the assembly, however, they were denied entry.

Rouse defended his decision to keep non-black students from the assembly by referring to the concept of “affinity groups.” According to the school’s statement, “Racial affinity groups are often used in learning communities to help facilitate positive identity exploration and provide people with similar experiences a space in which to pose questions and process topics.”

Affinity groups. I'll have to remember that one.

The principal, though, has a small point; ever since Ferguson, the "Black Lives Matter" movement, and especially the protests, has been co-opted by white leftists trying to earn street cred by marching with the brothers. (then, of course, they return to their exclusive white neighborhoods and do very white things)

He Regrets Forming the Thought Police

"We were wrong to try to ban racism out of existence, says former equality chief."

A former equality chief has branded his years working to stamp out racial discrimination as 'utterly wrong'.

Writer and broadcaster Trevor Phillips said efforts made under the Blair government turned anti-racism into an 'ugly new doctrine'.

Mr Phillips is the former chairman of the Equality and Human Rights Commission and has waged a 30-year campaign to tackle issues around discrimination and equality.

In an upcoming Channel 4 documentary, called Things We Won't Say About Race That Are True, he says attempts to stop prejudice instead encouraged abuse and endangered lives as well as contributed to the rise of parties like Ukip.

'Campaigners like me seriously believed that if we could prevent people expressing prejudiced ideas then eventually they would stop thinking them.

'But now I'm convinced we were utterly wrong.'

Mr Phillips, a Labour party member, says anti-racism began with good intentions but turned into 'thought control'.

Click the link to read the whole thing. I'm reminded of a famous passage from Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn: Huck, told he'll go to Hell for helping Jim flee slavery, says "All right then, I'll GO to Hell." If you put a man's (or a boy's) back up with constant accusations, very often they'll accept the accusation and wear it proudly out of spite.

This present regret by the developer of UK's Though Police comes because the common people of UK, fed up with having accusations of racism hurled at them constantly, have been leaving the Labour and Conservative parties to join UKIP (United Kingdom Independence Party), which is the only party that seems to care about what commoners really think about immigration and political correctness.

Look Up "Smug Bastard" In the Dictionary...

...and you'll see a picture of this guy:

A Nigerian woman filed for divorce from her husband because his penis was too big, according to media reports.

Aisha Dannupawa, a housewife and mother-of-three, asked for her marriage to husband Ali Maizinari to be dissolved due to his large manhood.

After their first unsuccessful attempt at making love, she took medication given to her by her mother.

'I told my mother the experience but she told me to endure and that with time, I will be able to cope. She then gave me some drugs,' she said to Nigerian media.

According to Dannupawa, the couple had sex again but it was 'too much to bear' and the couple concluded that no drug could help their sex life or their marriage.

Maizinari did not deny the accusation and told the court he was willing to dissolve the union if his dowry and money spent during the courtship was paid back.

He just has to find the right woman:

Shipwreck Blog: Musashi, Sibuyan Sea, 1944

Located by Microsoft billionaire Paul Allen at 3000ft using a personal submarine.

The Musashi, named after Japan's greatest swordsman, was sunk by US forces during the Battle of Leyte Gulf.

As For Me, I Go and Wash My Hands

"After You Shake Someone’s Hand, See If They Do This Afterward."

A handshake can be used to interpret a lot about a person, but there might be even more of an exchange of information going on than you realize, according to a recent study.

The next time you shake someone’s hand, see if they reach up and touch their face at some point shortly afterward. Scientists from the Weizmann Institute of Science in Israel found that some people are unconsciously sniffing subtle chemicals from the other person’s hand.

I occasionally get a guest at the hotel that wants to shake my hand, and it always seems to be the grungiest, nastiest individuals that do it. I'll usually finish the check-in/checkout process, then go to the restroom to wash my hands.

Even worse, though, is one of those individuals that pulls an ancient, smelly wallet out of his back pocket, licks his fingers, and then counts off the cash to pay for the room, rather than present a credit card. One of these days I'm going to snap and either hold out a tray for him to place the money on, or don housekeeper's gloves to receive it. Disgusting!

The Bootlicking Lackeys...

...known as CBS, NBC and ABC are refusing to carry the address to Congress by Israel's Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu.

Wouldn't want anyone to think that they weren't good Democrats at the three legacy news networks...

Volcano Blog: Villarica, Chile

Gorgeous photography:

Funny, But Unethical

And the painting should be replaced, or the "shadow" painted over.

A cursory glance at the official painting of President Bill Clinton that hangs in the National Portrait Gallery would easily miss an ode to the lowest point of his presidency — Monica Lewinsky.

But it’s there, the artist revealed in an interview with the Philadelphia Daily News. Philadelphia area painter Nelson Shanks cunningly included a shadow over the fireplace cast from a blue dress on a mannequin.

"If you look at the left-hand side of it there’s a mantle in the Oval Office and I put a shadow coming into the painting and it does two things. It actually literally represents a shadow from a blue dress that I had on a mannequin, that I had there while I was painting it, but not when he was there. It is also a bit of a metaphor in that it represents a shadow on the office he held, or on him."

That's the unethical behavior right there: if you're going to have a blue dress in the room, have it there while the former President is there posing, so he can punch you in the nose or have you fired, as you deserve. Don't go all passive-aggressive and do it behind his back, ya little pussy.

Try Looking Unduh Duh Dubya*

"Treasure hunt: NC authorities search for $4M in missing gold."

WILSON, N.C. - The FBI and the Wilson County Sheriff's Office said an estimated $4 million worth of gold was reported stolen during an armed robbery on Interstate 95 over the weekend.

At around 6:50 p.m. Sunday, Wilson County deputies responded to a report of an armed robbery on northbound I-95 near mile marker 114.

Authorities said two armed security guards working for Transvalue Inc. of Miami were transporting gold and silver from Miami to Massachusetts when they began to have mechanical problems.

The sheriff's office said when the security guards pulled over they were approached by three armed men in a white-colored van. The robbers ordered the victims to get down on the ground.

The robbers then tied the security guards' hands behind their back backs and made them walk into the woods, authorities said.

Authorities said the robbers took several barrels of gold worth an estimated $4 million and fled the scene.

*bonus points for identifying the reference.

If You Were In a Zombie Apocalypse...

...and were such a bad-ass that you once tore a man's throat out with your teeth, would you accept the position of "constable" for a post-apocalypse community and walk around the streets of the town wearing a necktie?

Well, that's what Rick Grimes was doing last night on The Walking Dead. I don't believe it was a cop's clip-on tie, either, so any walker or murderous survivor that came along could just seize Rick by his necktie and choke him to death.