Gun Control Works! He Complied With the Law!

The Santa Barbara County, California Sheriff reports that the gunman who killed all those people in California had passed all the necessary background checks and was using California-legal 10-round magazines.

During a May 24 press conference on Elliot Rodger's shooting spree in California, Santa Barbara County Sheriff Bill Brown said the guns Rodgers possessed "were legally purchased," which means he went through a background check, and that he used 10-round magazines.

President Obama and other gun control advocates also pushed to reduce legal magazine capacity to 10 rounds following the attack on Sandy Hook Elementary, suggesting smaller magazines would dissuade mass murderers. However, Breitbart News has repeatedly reported that, if magazines held fewer rounds, criminals would simply buy more magazines to commit their heinous acts.

On May 24, Sheriff Brown suggested that Rodger had done just that, as police found a total of 41 "loaded 10-round magazines" in Rodger's car.

I Wonder If Morgoth Was a General Motors Product?

'High elf' attacks woman's car with sword while battling 'the evil Morgoth.'

Konrad Bass was allegedly high on LSD when he used a sword to attack a woman's car and puncture it. Bass was wearing chain-mail with a helmet and carrying a shield during the attack, but the woman was apparently unable to recognize his costume and told a 911 dispatcher that "a pirate" was attacking her car.

Bass told police he was a "high-elf engaged in the battle with the evil Morgoth," not a pirate, according to KATU. He also had a staff on him at the time of the attack.

You...shall not...pass inspection!

Headline of the Day

"Drunk Royal Marine bit off pigeon's HEAD... and was caught because police found his DNA on the bird's body."

Some hilarious photos at the link. The pic of him smoking makes me think he's James Bond's crazy colleague, 005150:

Oh, that's Karmali. He went swimming with the sharks...and ate one.

Quote of the Day

"Another one on psych meds and obsessed with video games. And moronic NYC media wants to take guns from a free people?"

Found here.

The Daughter of Jesus Chooses To Stand Mute

Which is how she identified herself to sheriff's deputies in Hawthorne, Florida, after stabbing a man to death.

The deputies used a K-9 dog to make her submit:

Deputies arrived and called for Dallas to come out, but she stayed seated on a bed in the rear bedroom with her arms folded. Using a shield marked “SHERIFF,’’ deputies went into the house and told her to come out or they would send in the police dog.

She didn’t, and they did.

LOL. I like this reporter's writing style.

Nutcase Follow-Up

That would be the case of the nutcase woman in Fort Mill, SC, that I first blogged about here.

She's in the news again:

A woman accused last week of confiscating guest IDs at a Fort Mill hotel and claiming to work with the Secret Service later called the same hotel’s manager five times and claimed to be an FBI agent, police say.

Now, the Charlotte woman’s face is featured on social media, and she’s been added to the list of accused criminals wanted by the York County Sheriff’s Office.

On July 25, deputies responded to the Clarion Hotel on Foothills Way near Carowinds when the hotel manager reported that Carma Leilani Ariel, 45, confiscated the IDs of several guests, although she had been asked not to return to the hotel, according to a York County Sheriff’s report.

I'm guessing that the York County Sheriff's Office came in for a lot of ridicule for letting the woman go on her way, unable to determine whether she actually was a federal agent. I'm also guessing that they didn't want to run her fingerprints to see if they matched to anyone in the database, even though she was committing crimes by impersonating a federal agent and collecting ID's from fellow guests. Looks like ass-covering time at the Sheriff's Office.

Meanwhile, In Fort Mill, SC...

...a nutcase woman masquerades as a federal agent:

Deputies were called to the Clarion Hotel on Foothills Way near Carowinds after receiving calls from the manager that a 45-year-old woman was at the hotel although she had been asked not to return, the report states. The manager told deputies that a new employee unaware that the woman was not welcome booked the woman into an eighth-floor room.

The woman claimed to be a federal agent, according to the manager, who told police that she did not believe the story, the report states. The manager told deputies the woman identified herself a federal agent to other hotel guests and took their IDs. It’s unclear what she did with the IDs.

The manager told deputies she did not want the woman on hotel property and asked that she be removed, the report states.

Authorities spoke with the woman at her room. She told them that she was an agent with the federal Department of Justice under Secret Service, the report states. When a deputy asked to contact her supervisor to verify her employment, she told police she did not have a number, but her supervisor was “General Abernathy.”

She showed deputies an ID card, but “the quality was questionable at best,” the report states. The Department of Justice seal was “blurred as if printed on a low-quality printer,” and the woman had no other form of ID, telling police that she was not required to carry a driver’s license.

She did have a car, police said, where she had several black uniforms with no identification on them except for the word “Agent” above the front left pocket of the shirts, the report states.

The woman told police she was unable to discuss why she was in the area, and that she was never issued a badge. She became upset that the manager called police and told deputies that her cover was blown.

The woman, deputies said, did not provide “adequate information to prove that she was working for the federal government, but deputies could not disprove her employment either at the time of the incident.”

LOL. Two people I used to work with now work at that hotel. And hark at the sheriff's deputies not knowing whether she actually was a federal agent! LOL! (To make it easy for you: the Secret Service is part of the Department of Homeland Security, not the Department of Justice.)

Eenie Meenie Minie Moe...

...I'm gonna bite off yer little toe.

Paging Captain Renault

Your new mission: round up the insane suspects.

Or, as the video at the link puts it, "scoop the nuts."

Meanwhile, On Twitter....

...we see evidence of MSM skullduggery.

Loves Piers Morgan:

"…give Piers Morgan an indefinite resident alien and Visa card. Mr. Morgan, the problem that many American gun owners have with you and your continuous discussion of gun control is that you are not an American citizen and have an accent that is distinct and clarifies that you are a foreigner. I want you to know that I agree with you 100% on enacting stricter firearm laws."

I've been busy on Twitter tying Piers Morgan to the killer like a tail on a birthday donkey. Having a blast!

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

Researchers seem to think that if you curse a lot on Twitter, or Tweet the words "die," "kill," or "buy" often, you're probably a psychopath.

No, really. That's what they think:

Wald and Taghi Khoshgoftaar, a professor of engineering and computer science, used an already existing psychological formula to determine how likely someone is to be psychopathic by their writing. Using a process called data mining, they developed an algorithm that would scan the tweets of nearly 3,000 volunteers. It found that about 1.4 percent of users showed psychopathic tendencies, similar to the population as a whole, based on their Tweets and a questionnaire.

The results have limitations, the researchers said. For example, the computer program didn't recognize abbreviated versions of words, which are common on Twitter due to the 140-character limits. It also can't recognize the difference between someone using a word such as "kill" in an angry way or an off-handed joking way, such as "I could kill him for this."

Of course, that reminded me of Arlo Guthrie's Alice's restaurant:

So we were all jumping up and down, yelling "Kill! Kill!" and the sergeant came over, pinned a medal on me, sent me down the hall, said "You're our boy!"

He's a Veteran?

Looks as if the naked fellow who stole the fire truck in Port Royal, SC, and killed a pedestrian may have been a military veteran being treated at the Beaufort Naval Hospital:

PORT ROYAL — A nude man who stole a fire truck in Port Royal and drove off, hitting six vehicles and killing a pedestrian had fled from the Beaufort Naval Hospital before the incident.

The Island Packet of Hilton Head reports (http://bit.ly/zcS3dU ) 26-year-old Kalvin Hunt of Sumter has been taken to the hospital by a Beaufort County Veteran Affairs officer last Friday. He escaped when the VA officer took him outside for a moment.

Yer Head-Shaking Story of the Day

"Stolen fire truck kills man, crashes."

PORT ROYAL -- A nude man stole a fire truck while firefighters were answering a medical call Friday afternoon, then raced off, hitting multiple cars and killing a pedestrian before crashing into a tree, authorities and witnesses said.

That's Port Royal, SC. Click the link to read the rest.

Use the Force, Tard!

"Jedi Knight', 33, jailed for fighting Taser police armed with toy LIGHTSABER."

Officers had been alerted to an incident inside a Toys R Us in Jantzen Beach after a man allegedly used a toy lightsaber to attack people.

According to police, by the time officers arrived three people had been assaulted by a man brandishing the toy.

Officers said they tried to calm the man down but he kept swinging the lightsaber and shouting incoherently.

So they then tried to use a Taser on him, but the man managed to break the wires free using the toy.

Abandoning the Taser attempts, police then wrestled the man to the ground before taking him into custody.

David Canterbury, who was arrested at the scene, was treated for injuries and taken to a hospital for a mental evaluation.

I'd guess his midichlorian count is a bit low.

Zombie George Washington?

Apparently William Thornton, the architect who designed the US Capitol building, wanted to re-animate Washington by warming the body next to a fire, inflating the lungs with a fireplace bellows, and transfuse lamb's blood into his veins.

There's a cool image that accompanies the article:



I guess that's the hatchet that young George used to chop down the cherry tree, if you remember your Parson Weems.

Coon Smackin' Mama

A Burlington, Vermont woman took a dead raccoon to City Hall and slammed its carcass against the entrance doors.

Police in Vermont say a woman who might have been angry about a dead raccoon left on a street took its bloody carcass to City Hall and angrily slammed it against the building's doors.

Burlington police say the woman left the raccoon's body outside City Hall before walking off one morning two weeks ago.

Witnesses have told the Burlington Free Press the animal might have been hit on a nearby street and that the woman might have been upset no one from the city had come to collect it.

Sounds like it would make a great blues song:

She's a coon smackin' mama, don't want her mad at you.
She's a coon smackin' mama, don't want her mad at you.
She'll smack you with that coon until your body black and blue.