Meanwhile, In Jefferson, Wisconsin...

... the winner of the annual cricket-spitting contest spit a dead cricket twenty-one feet two inches for the win.

Mike Morateck, 46, of Palmyra, took the top prize in the 15-and-up age bracket during Wednesday's contest at the Jefferson County Fair, using his knowledge as a "man of science" to spit the cricket, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported Thursday.

"Pick a big cricket -- the heavier the cricket, the further it goes," Morateck said. "Put the cricket in your mouth, feet first on its back with the head pointing out because you don't want the legs dragging on the way out. Then take a big breath through the nose -- otherwise you eat the cricket -- and let it fly."

Oooookay.