Thursday, January 12, 2012

Damnit, Jim...

...I'm a desk clerk, not Johnny Appleseed.

I thought this, but didn't say it, when a guest approached the desk, helped himself to one of the complimentary apples, and said, "What's the matter with these apples? They're sort of funny-looking." Then, to prove that funny-looking apples didn't scare him, he took a huge bite out of it.

I wish I was a computer programmer so that I could develop a "Dr. McCoy Profession Generator" that, when you click a button, would generate a random exclamation based on "I'm a ________, not a _______.

I'm a cordwainer, not a haberdasher.

I'm a waitress, not a proctologist.

I'm a blacksmith, not a whitewasher.

And so on.

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